I think, whether you are male or female, being overly deferential can obviously cut against you. Sometimes, however, it's useful and necessary to qualify your statements. It all depends on what you're trying to get out of the situation you're in. If you're qualifying your statements unintentionally, then it's probably habit, and something you should examine to make sure you AREN'T undermining yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generations of feeling the need to apologize for ourselves. You'd very rarely hear a man start a sentence like that.

Actually my male boss does it all the time, and he is the General Manager and CEO of a 500M company. He is very diplomatic and does it truly as a way to say"....Hey maybe I'm not seeing everything here, but here is my opinion....I'm still open to your idea." It is his way of not wanting to come off as a dictator.

I see our male execs do this all the time as well. I always assumed it was a way for them to voice their opinions with a lower risk of shutting down the discussion.

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone see the Today Show this morning? They covered a segment that showed that women are biologically programmed to not speak up in small groups like meetings and to actually feel less smart in those settings. Researchers think it may be in part because women are more adept at picking up social cues about how others are feeling. Makes total sense to me and the big question is should women change or should the workplace change since so many business decisions are made in small groups? Maybe both.

Please provide the link to that. That sounds like bullshit from a male who has a female boss!

I work in a male dominated field - I find the best way to begin a sentance is just to say what you think.

Also, 90% of the times I am standing when I talk. That says a lot about your opinion. If men are sitting and you are standing, they listen to what you are saying.

Don't end your sentences with a question - you know? Right? ok?

And my amazing pet peave about women in the work force - if you shake my hand like you are timid and unsure...I will treat you as such.

Did anyone see the Today Show this morning? They covered a segment that showed that women are biologically programmed to not speak up in small groups like meetings and to actually feel less smart in those settings. Researchers think it may be in part because women are more adept at picking up social cues about how others are feeling. Makes total sense to me and the big question is should women change or should the workplace change since so many business decisions are made in small groups? Maybe both.

They have done jury studies and found that juries believe men's testimony over women's for this exact reason. The women undercut themselves by using these phrases.

This is unPC, but truly, the only men I have ever heard use these self-deprecating expressions on a regular basis are gay. And I hear women use them a lot.

Regardless of who uses them, these expressions are annoying. Like some PPs said, it's one thing if you genuinely don't know because you are expressing an opinion about something not in your field. Fine. But even then it's not really necessary because if you are wrong, someone will likely correct you.

I also can't stand ending sentences with a question. My mom stopped that when my sister and I were in our teens -- we must have been doing it, and she told us we sounded like ditzes and no one would ever take us seriously if we couldn't end a sentence properly. It made us much more aware of inflection and nuance.