Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with PPs. A teacher, no matter what grade she teaches, has all the tricks about how to get te LOs to clean up, help with chores and we can't forget THE KNOW HOW TO TEACH!!!!! just this weekend during superbowl my friend was getting all sweaty trying to explain to her 3yo how to put the shapes through a shape sorter for kindergartens. The kid was getting frustrated, the mom was getting angry and I was just watching.

While she was gone to pick up more chips I quickly showed him what he was doing wrong and how it worked and when mom came back TA-DA! He was doing it!!!

Obviously, if any of you were humble enough to ask your "friend" sitting right by your side how to do it you'd have learned a new thing but no! She's a know-it-all and you'd rather suffer and get frustrated/angry towards your child than recognize that someone who's a FTM of a child younger than yours knows more about teaching children than you.

Hey-- as a former teacher myself, I would have preferred the child figure the sorter trick out on his own! That's really what those things are for!

Anonymous wrote:ITA with PPs. A teacher, no matter what grade she teaches, has all the tricks about how to get te LOs to clean up, help with chores and we can't forget THE KNOW HOW TO TEACH!!!!! just this weekend during superbowl my friend was getting all sweaty trying to explain to her 3yo how to put the shapes through a shape sorter for kindergartens. The kid was getting frustrated, the mom was getting angry and I was just watching.

While she was gone to pick up more chips I quickly showed him what he was doing wrong and how it worked and when mom came back TA-DA! He was doing it!!!

Obviously, if any of you were humble enough to ask your "friend" sitting right by your side how to do it you'd have learned a new thing but no! She's a know-it-all and you'd rather suffer and get frustrated/angry towards your child than recognize that someone who's a FTM of a child younger than yours knows more about teaching children than you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your thoughts. To be clear, I don't think my friend is a sanctimommy.

I was trying to think of a good example of what bothers me - She'll talk with absolute confidence about potty training when someone asks a question, but she has yet to train her child, who is 2. How can you be so sure about potty training when you've never done it? She went to a potty training class though.

I just try to remember that we have different lives- not judging either as better or worse, just different. She has one child and stays at home. Said child is 2. I have 3 children, 2 of whom are older than hers. I work out of the home.

You are leaving out the fact that she's also been a kindergarten teacher, who in her early education training has probably observed and taught dozens of children in various stages of potty training, in addition to having taken a class on it (and who of us "normal" moms have done this?). Parents also unload a lot of personal anecdotes about potty training, feeding, etc., so all of that information gets registered into a kindergarten teacher's bank of knowledge. Remember that most of us moms have potty trained two kids, which isn't much more than one, and have read maybe a couple of books on the topic.

If your friend seems spot-on most of the time, take advantage of it! Don't turn it into a negative.

OP here- I never said she was a kindergarten teacher, because she wasn't...she was a middle school teacher. If that makes a difference....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your thoughts. To be clear, I don't think my friend is a sanctimommy.

I was trying to think of a good example of what bothers me - She'll talk with absolute confidence about potty training when someone asks a question, but she has yet to train her child, who is 2. How can you be so sure about potty training when you've never done it? She went to a potty training class though.

I just try to remember that we have different lives- not judging either as better or worse, just different. She has one child and stays at home. Said child is 2. I have 3 children, 2 of whom are older than hers. I work out of the home.

You are leaving out the fact that she's also been a kindergarten teacher, who in her early education training has probably observed and taught dozens of children in various stages of potty training, in addition to having taken a class on it (and who of us "normal" moms have done this?). Parents also unload a lot of personal anecdotes about potty training, feeding, etc., so all of that information gets registered into a kindergarten teacher's bank of knowledge. Remember that most of us moms have potty trained two kids, which isn't much more than one, and have read maybe a couple of books on the topic.

If your friend seems spot-on most of the time, take advantage of it! Don't turn it into a negative.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your thoughts. To be clear, I don't think my friend is a sanctimommy.

I was trying to think of a good example of what bothers me - She'll talk with absolute confidence about potty training when someone asks a question, but she has yet to train her child, who is 2. How can you be so sure about potty training when you've never done it? She went to a potty training class though.

I just try to remember that we have different lives- not judging either as better or worse, just different. She has one child and stays at home. Said child is 2. I have 3 children, 2 of whom are older than hers. I work out of the home.

You are leaving out the fact that she's also been a kindergarten teacher, who in her early education training has probably observed and taught dozens of children in various stages of potty training, in addition to having taken a class on it (and who of us "normal" moms have done this?). Parents also unload a lot of personal anecdotes about potty training, feeding, etc., so all of that information gets registered into a kindergarten teacher's bank of knowledge. Remember that most of us moms have potty trained two kids, which isn't much more than one, and have read maybe a couple of books on the topic.

If your friend seems spot-on most of the time, take advantage of it! Don't turn it into a negative.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all your thoughts. To be clear, I don't think my friend is a sanctimommy.

I was trying to think of a good example of what bothers me - She'll talk with absolute confidence about potty training when someone asks a question, but she has yet to train her child, who is 2. How can you be so sure about potty training when you've never done it? She went to a potty training class though.

I just try to remember that we have different lives- not judging either as better or worse, just different. She has one child and stays at home. Said child is 2. I have 3 children, 2 of whom are older than hers. I work out of the home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We call them sancti-mommies.

Struck a nerve, eh sancti?

What struck me about the "we call them sancti-mommies" post was thesuch blanket statements aligning sanctimonious parenting with certain beliefs (extending BFing, bedsharing, etc.) I don't share those particular stances (bedsharing, "attachment parenting" in the way I've seen described on this board) but it's just as rude/annoying/sanctimonious for you to put them down and give them a stupid label as they are for preaching their gospel about mommy milk, etc. You're a sancti-mommy yourself in your own way. And it's a dumb label.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fan of confidence and turned off by women who are afraid of it.

Ditto.

I'm also an anti-fan of the misuse of sanctimonious, which is a description of behavior rooted in hypocrisy. I've said it before on here and I'll say it again: people who practice what they preach are by definition not sanctimonious. People who preach one thing and practice another behind closed doors are sanctimonious. Words have meanings, and it's difficult to impossible to respect people who judge and attempt to label others with words they themselves don't (one can only infer) understand. The label you are probably looking for is "holier than thou" or "self-righteous," which would only apply when people are actually preaching and judging others for their perceived failures to live up to certain standards. As far as I can tell, the judgment typically flows one way around here and I'll give you a hint, it's not from the attachment parenting crowd. Okay, pet peeve rant over.

Anonymous wrote:I think you're talking about me...

I always get this kind of talk from friends and DH's friends who're having babies also talk about me in this manner behind my back. I worked in childcare for several years so the experience is part of it but also personality helps a lot.

Friends always came to me for advice in every single aspect of their lives since I was a teenager. I have 2 careers and both times I went to college my colleagues always commented on how confident I was. I will never forget our first day in our school clinic - nursing school - and everybody was getting their first patient that day. Some were all sweaty, others were shaking and I ended up giving 5 shots that day because all my colleagues were so nervous they could not do it. I saw my patient and theirs.

I have a lot of great friends because of this but some people don't like my attitude - I always have something to say about everything - and they can't tolerate it. I don't really care, in the end I think I end up helping more people being this way.

The only down side of this all is the criticism I get from my mom. She thinks I'm not that smart since I can't make money out of it. She said I should find a way to apply this strength into something lucrative. Anyway, I think being a teacher makes me happy enough so I'll just stay put.