My sister died of alcoholism about a year ago and it is very painful. I concur with a previous poster that not talking about why she died makes it much worse. She had abused alcohol and drugs (heroin) for most of her life and had gotten sober 5 or 6 times for years at a time, but then would fall back into it. She kept it all very secret. Before she died we didn't even know she was really sick, she just kept saying that she wasn't feeling well. We got a call one day that her friend had found her unconscious in her apartment. She was taken to the hospital. I went to see her and she was extremely yellow and on a respirator. The next day she died. She must have been really sick to die so suddenly, but my family and i had no idea she was so far gone. She had a very difficult life and I was pretty sure she was going to die young, but I was close to her and I am extremely sad about it.

I can tell you that it is one of the most ugly awful deaths there are. The PP who wrote about the 'bleeding from every pore' - yes, and all while being bloated with fluids like a dead body in water.

Anonymous wrote:The kind of drinking that causes this early death is basically at least a fifth plus a bottle of Mad Dog or 6-pack a day, more like a half gallon per day on weekends, without stop. No days off. Dawn to dusk, you drink. For 30 years. I know - my parents did this the whole time I was growing up and passed away when I was about 30.

It doesn't have to be everyday. I know two people who died form alcoholism and while they were life long alcoholics, they had long dry stretches and they would get healthier, get jobs, live in stable housing...until something sent them into a downward spiral again and the non stop drinking would start again. I have no idea about what kind of impact the daily drinking versus the year long binges interspersed with sober years does. Maybe all the same in the end.

The kind of drinking that causes this early death is basically at least a fifth plus a bottle of Mad Dog or 6-pack a day, more like a half gallon per day on weekends, without stop. No days off. Dawn to dusk, you drink. For 30 years. I know - my parents did this the whole time I was growing up and passed away when I was about 30.

http://www.visualphotos.com/image/1x8803511/cirrhosis_beer_belly

http://www.patient.co.uk/education/cirrhosis/osce

Help me please...I'm dying...haven't had any food for 3 days or longer, just keep drinking Bacardi. I have no insurance, PLEASE help, I have grand babies

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would like to add that NOT all liver problems are alcohol related. Some people do not realize this and jump to conclusions. Terrible, but true. I guess some people are just bored or worse.

This is so true. My sweet 73 year old neighbor was diagnosed with cirrhosis, and she has never drank. She was so embarassed and afraid to tell people, she didn't want everyone thinking she was a closet drunk.

Yes, unfortunately this is a fact, and it's more common than you think, especially in women. Liver problems run in my family, but it is kept quiet, even within our extended family, because of the stigma; people hear "cirrhosis" and automatically think that the person is an alcoholic and has brought it on themselves. People I know with liver issues don't drink at all, because alcohol can speed up their need for a transplant. I hope when and if they need a transplant, there will be a liver available for them.

I admire the fact that the man a PP mentioned who was on the list gave up his spot for another person; that was a noble thing to do, IMO.

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds horrible.

How much alcohol, over how long a period, would someone have to drink to get to this point?

I worry about my own alcohol consumption sometimes. About two or three times a week I will have around 2 glasses of wine, sometimes 3 glasses. So, typically I'm drinking anywhere from 4-9 glasses a week.

Rolling my eyes at this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not drinking again, OP, then he could have a pretty decent life. My dad sobered up after being in a coma (bleeding from his skin, etc., as others have described). Once he was sober though we had 5 nice years together and he was pretty healthy. Sadly, he started drinking again and six months later he was dead from multiple organ failure. We weren't in contact then (part of the rules of our relationship was that I refused contact when he was drunk) so I didn't see the slide. But, at the end he was in a coma, his liver and kidneys had stopped working, and he was having heart attacks every ten minutes or so. I had to give the order to DNR. Horrible thing for a daughter to have to do.

For you and the other PPs, I have the utmost sympathy. I can't even begin to comprehend what this is like.

OP here. Yes, I too am so sorry you went through this. I hope you have found some peace.

I suppose it's very well true that the BF could recover and go on to live out his life in relative health. I believe maybe a year ago he was told that he wouldn't have much longer and he's hung in there this long. He's actually in the hospital as I type b/c he had an issue with his gallbladder. I guess normally they would remove the organ, but they don't want to do surgery on him.

As much as it was painful to read everyone's posts, I do thank you for writing them. I didn't know people could bleed from their pores.

The BF's children have pretty much abandoned him (his two sons are also addicts and his daughter wants nothing to do with him) and my MIL has done a lot for him. She's got a care-giving personality and cared for my FIL (who died before I married DH) for years while he suffered and eventually died from brain cancer.

Thanks OP and the pps who posted sympathy. I have found peace and generally am able to focus on the good things and the good times. My father was gay at a time when being out was not acceptable and he drank (and tried to find Jesus, went to therapy, etc.) to avoid who he was. That is a tragedy for which I have a very deep compassion, but I'm clear that it was his tragedy and not mine. He gave me some wonderful gifts as a dad and even though he was a horrible person when drunk, I know that's not who he really was.

I'm sorry about the BF, OP. It must be very hard for you and for your MIL. I hope the BF pulls through and that you all get a happy ending.

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds horrible.

How much alcohol, over how long a period, would someone have to drink to get to this point?

I worry about my own alcohol consumption sometimes. About two or three times a week I will have around 2 glasses of wine, sometimes 3 glasses. So, typically I'm drinking anywhere from 4-9 glasses a week.

You shouldn't worry - in fact you are healthier than people who do not drink. Moderate alcohol use reduces overall mortality, largely through reduced cardiovascular risks. That is one of the reasons why southern Europeans tend to live longer and healthier than Americans. While their higher alcohol use does increase the risk of some diseases, it reduces the risks of the most major ones.

see, e.g. Alcohol dosing and total mortality in men and women. Arch Intern Med 2006; 166: 2437-2445 - A J-shaped relationship between alcohol and total mortality was confirmed in adjusted studies, in both men and women. Consumption of alcohol, up to 4 drinks per day in men and 2 drinks per day in women, was inversely associated with total mortality, maximum protection being 18% in women (99% confidence interval, 13%-22%) and 17% in men (99% confidence interval, 15%-19%). Higher doses of alcohol were associated with increased mortality. The inverse association in women disappeared at doses lower than in men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not drinking again, OP, then he could have a pretty decent life. My dad sobered up after being in a coma (bleeding from his skin, etc., as others have described). Once he was sober though we had 5 nice years together and he was pretty healthy. Sadly, he started drinking again and six months later he was dead from multiple organ failure. We weren't in contact then (part of the rules of our relationship was that I refused contact when he was drunk) so I didn't see the slide. But, at the end he was in a coma, his liver and kidneys had stopped working, and he was having heart attacks every ten minutes or so. I had to give the order to DNR. Horrible thing for a daughter to have to do.

For you and the other PPs, I have the utmost sympathy. I can't even begin to comprehend what this is like.

OP here. Yes, I too am so sorry you went through this. I hope you have found some peace.

I suppose it's very well true that the BF could recover and go on to live out his life in relative health. I believe maybe a year ago he was told that he wouldn't have much longer and he's hung in there this long. He's actually in the hospital as I type b/c he had an issue with his gallbladder. I guess normally they would remove the organ, but they don't want to do surgery on him.

As much as it was painful to read everyone's posts, I do thank you for writing them. I didn't know people could bleed from their pores.

The BF's children have pretty much abandoned him (his two sons are also addicts and his daughter wants nothing to do with him) and my MIL has done a lot for him. She's got a care-giving personality and cared for my FIL (who died before I married DH) for years while he suffered and eventually died from brain cancer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's not drinking again, OP, then he could have a pretty decent life. My dad sobered up after being in a coma (bleeding from his skin, etc., as others have described). Once he was sober though we had 5 nice years together and he was pretty healthy. Sadly, he started drinking again and six months later he was dead from multiple organ failure. We weren't in contact then (part of the rules of our relationship was that I refused contact when he was drunk) so I didn't see the slide. But, at the end he was in a coma, his liver and kidneys had stopped working, and he was having heart attacks every ten minutes or so. I had to give the order to DNR. Horrible thing for a daughter to have to do.

For you and the other PPs, I have the utmost sympathy. I can't even begin to comprehend what this is like.

This. How horrible.

Anonymous wrote:If he's not drinking again, OP, then he could have a pretty decent life. My dad sobered up after being in a coma (bleeding from his skin, etc., as others have described). Once he was sober though we had 5 nice years together and he was pretty healthy. Sadly, he started drinking again and six months later he was dead from multiple organ failure. We weren't in contact then (part of the rules of our relationship was that I refused contact when he was drunk) so I didn't see the slide. But, at the end he was in a coma, his liver and kidneys had stopped working, and he was having heart attacks every ten minutes or so. I had to give the order to DNR. Horrible thing for a daughter to have to do.

For you and the other PPs, I have the utmost sympathy. I can't even begin to comprehend what this is like.

If he's not drinking again, OP, then he could have a pretty decent life. My dad sobered up after being in a coma (bleeding from his skin, etc., as others have described). Once he was sober though we had 5 nice years together and he was pretty healthy. Sadly, he started drinking again and six months later he was dead from multiple organ failure. We weren't in contact then (part of the rules of our relationship was that I refused contact when he was drunk) so I didn't see the slide. But, at the end he was in a coma, his liver and kidneys had stopped working, and he was having heart attacks every ten minutes or so. I had to give the order to DNR. Horrible thing for a daughter to have to do.

Anonymous wrote:I would like to add that NOT all liver problems are alcohol related. Some people do not realize this and jump to conclusions. Terrible, but true. I guess some people are just bored or worse.

This is so true. My sweet 73 year old neighbor was diagnosed with cirrhosis, and she has never drank. She was so embarassed and afraid to tell people, she didn't want everyone thinking she was a closet drunk.