I'm a single mom living on less than $100K a year, paying for full-time daycare. It's possible, but it might be hard to save for a house on one income, and if you have two cars, that could add up. (I have an 8-year-old car and no car payment.) I'd try living off of one income for awhile and banking the rest to see how it feels - see what sacrifices you'll be making and if you're ok with them.

And remember that this isn't a lifetime change. Maybe you only stay home a few years. I was home with 1 and later 2 children while DH made $80K rising to $100K. I am now back to a mom-friendly (read: low-paying but good hours !) because we have our kids in parochial school. We don't save much but I plan to return to full-time/full-pay work in the near future.

We put big vacations and home renovations on the back burner but have lived comfortably and happily for many years. Was it worth it? Oh my God yes. So happy DH was willing to sacrifice too so I could be home with these kids!

I think my stats are fairly comprable to yours, and I am a SAHM.

Dh makes slightly more (about $120,000) but our mortgage (plus HOI and property tax in escrow) is $2500, so it probably roughly balances out.

We have 4 children. We can afford to put all 4 in the activities they want without major financial difficulty. Most of the activities they do are fairly inexpensive, but one of my kids takes fencing lessons for $150/month (plus purchasing of uniforms/equipment) and that is our most expensive activity. The others are more like a $150-200 registration fee for an entire season (baseball, lacrosse, football)

We go out to eat once a month for a "date night" at a restaurant where we generally spend about $100 total. We will rarely go out to eat as a whole family...but that's because we're a family of 6...when we only had a baby, we went out a lot more!

In general we'll take 2 vacations per year, but they involve driving instead of flying, camping instead of staying in nice hotels, and picnicking instead of gourmet restaurants. I think, compared to most women, I spend very little on clothing and accessories.

I don't have any nice jewelry except for my engagement ring, and we don't have the latest and greatest in technology (no iphone, no ipad, not even dvr on our tv!)

I think it's definitely possible for you to SAH on that salary...but depending on how you've been living your life until now, you may need to make some adjustments

Oh and we do have a second car (we bought it a little over a year ago, brand new). It is paid off so I didn't include that in our monthly expenses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to do a budget analysis. Assume that your income is just over $100K (we'll assume that for various reasons, that anything you get from bonuses, home business is extra for luxuries or debt reduction, not for standard COL). With a tax bracket of roughly 21% federal, make it about 30% total including state, fica, etc. That gives you an annual income of monthly income of about $6000. If you take the expenses listed (rent $2300, car $300, student loan $200) that's $2800 leaving $3200. You have $3200 to pay utilities, food, gas, and all other expenses. You'll have to decide whether that's doable, depending on your family needs. Some of that also depends on where in the metro area you live. COL varies quite a lot between areas. I live in PG County and I find my expenses are at least 10% less than my friends in MoCo. My guess is generally cheaper, the prices in my supermarket, etc. So, that's also a factor.

This calculation assumes that nothing is deducted before taxes for retirement savings/401k, health insurance, disability insurance, etc. from OP's DH's paycheck. She will need to figure those in, in order to determine what take-home would be.

OP, I think you should consider working for a time, simply to know what you would be getting into vis-a-vis parenthood and working, prior to deciding whether to SAH or not. It is hard to make the decision to SAH in the abstract, without having an actual child or children in the picture.

Correct. I did not include retirement, health insurance and other benefits. Part of the problem is that these costs vary greatly from employer to employer. You are correct that I should have included that in the remaining $3200, but I was in a rush to get to a meeting and cut it short. In addition, if you are trying to do FHSA, FCSA, or any other benefits offered by your employer, all of that has to be included.

Anonymous wrote:

How is a take home pay of 6K/month is possible for someone who make 100K/year? My husband makes 145K gross and his take home pay after all the deductions is 6300/month....

As pointed out, I had forgotten to include that the $6K does not include any benefits deductions such as retirement, health insurance, life insurance, FHSA, FCSA, etc. Benefits vary too greatly from employer to employer in both cost and amounts offered that those have be factored in individually based on the job.

Thanks everyone. My home based business is already established and no, it's not Avon or anything like that! I actually work 30 hrs a week now at my current job and do the same kind of job on the side as a consultant. Most of the work I do from home, but some of it does require meeting with clients. Luckily I usually do that on weekends/after the work day is over anyway, so I'm hoping we can manage the child care situation. If not and I have to hire an hourly babysitter, I will have to do that. It's hard to say exactly what I make because we write so much off in taxes and run that through the business, but I brought in about 45k or so in 2011 before expenses, with very little overhead. It was about the same in 2010.

Because I only work 30 hrs per week at my current job (and only make 45k per year doing that), it just wasn't worth it when I started looking into the cost of daycare. I would end up taking home like $600/month.

I am not so worried (maybe I should be) about saving for retirement and college and a down payment because we can do that with my business income and DH's bonuses. We have been good so far at saving that. I am mostly worried about monthly expenses.

I am also not so worried about my long term career progression- my business is much more profitable than my 30 hr/wk job (ie, working MANY less hours for the same money) and has a lot of growth potential where I could be making much more money. The problem is that I can't really expand it too much now because I am pressed for time since I already hold the 30 hr/wk job. I would have ultimately quit that job anyway to expand the business since that's what I would like to do long term.

If the whole thing doesn't pan out with my business and I decide that I want to re-enter the workforce, I don't think it will be too hard. I have a pretty specialized job (albeit not well paid!) and an excellent reputation in my field. I am also 27 for what it's worth. I guess we'll see.

I stayed home on much less, but it was incredibly important to me and dh and I were committed to doing it no matter what. There are tradeoffs either way, and you have to think through the scenarios carefully. Your question doesn't give the impression you've thought much about it.

Also, while it might be possible to earn some "side" income from a home-based business, it isn't something to count on.

I'm concerned about the home-based business. You are taking on a lot staying home with no child care and working on the side, even if it's just a few hours a week. Make sure you aren't taking on too much - it's really hard to make these decisions since you don't have a baby yet and you don't know how it is going to be for you and your DH.

I am with the poster who says this is totally personal and I also wouldn't be able to stay home on 2x that, because I'm incredibly risk-adverse and also really like to have small luxuries like organic food, ordering things online, once a month housekeeping, as well as bigger picture things like staying in the workforce and continuing to contribute to retirement.

Anonymous wrote:You can definitely make it work! Don't stress about the long-term stuff. 5 years is a tiny blip when it comes to retirement savings. You can hit the ground running again when you go back to work!

That's just not true. 5 years is a long time to be out of the job market, especially if you're heading into your peak earning years. If you're 25, well, then it might not matter so much.

You can definitely make it work! Don't stress about the long-term stuff. 5 years is a tiny blip when it comes to retirement savings. You can hit the ground running again when you go back to work!

Don't assume that you want to be a SAH. I thought I would be torn as to whether I wanted to SAH, and I realized on a long maternity leave that I would be happier working. Don't quit your job until you know for sure.

Retirement savings are not optional.

We do it on significantly less. Our budget is very tight. It's doable if you really want it and are willing to cut back, way back.

You need to seriously think about your future down the road and whether you will be able to re-enter the workforce. I think it's easy to under-estimate what this means for your long-term career potential. Of course, it may totally be worth it for you - and it's hard to even put a value on what it means to stay home with your child - but at the same time you need to keep your personal long view in mind, and whether you're okay with possibly never really developing a career if you're out for 5+ years, or coming back and being 10-15 years older (or more!) than someone doing your same job, and never really advancing much because you were out during some crucial years. You may be fine with that, but try to think about where you want to be down the road. Sometimes not totally checking out of the workforce but keeping a foot in the door is less risky. By thinking of yourself, you are also thinking about your child's future - don't forget that!

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes a little over $100,000 and I bring in a bit doing some part time work that is seasonal. We do not live in our dream house but we do have a comfortable home in a good school district. We do not have a car payment but that is because we choose to drive older cars. I do not buy expensive things for myself very often but do not feel like we have to count every penny.

To answer your question, yes, you can make it work!

Are you saving for retirement and college?