Anonymous wrote:I find it petty and self-indulgent if people expect a thank-you note. After all, not all gifts are ASKED FOR, but are willingly given. If people are that annoyed with me for not writing a thank-you note, I'd rather they NOT give me the gift at all. Who needs friends with these annoying expectations of political correctness.

Ok, but do you thank them in some way? In my book, if they open the gift in my presence and thank me then, I don't need anything else. But if I've mailed the gift, or they don't open it in front of me, yes, they should acknowledge that they received a gift from me and what it was. Email, text, whatever, but it's downright rude to not give any acknowledgement. And, FYI, your friends and family do think you have poor manners and are rude. I probably wouldn't give you another gift, so yeah, I'm exercising that choice you mention.

I find it petty and self-indulgent if people expect a thank-you note. After all, not all gifts are ASKED FOR, but are willingly given. If people are that annoyed with me for not writing a thank-you note, I'd rather they NOT give me the gift at all. Who needs friends with these annoying expectations of political correctness.

When I give a gift, I love to see the appreciation on their face as I give them the gift...no thank-you note needed. A gift is a gift, with no strings of thank-you notes attached, otherwise it's not really a gift.

In general, I get a little annoyed when I don't get thank you acknowledgements (email is fine!), but I don't expect anything from new parents. Come on, people, those early days are hard. Let them enjoy the 2 minutes they get to themselves without feeling guilty about not spending those 2 minutes writing your thank you note.

I hate thank you notes, don't do them, ever.

Thank you email and in person. That's it.

Suck it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there needs to be a dispensation for parents of very young kids, and E-mail or in-person thank-yous should really suffice. If you really want a card in the mail instead, please don't send us a gift.

Telephone thank-yous should be plenty too.

This! However, my in-laws EXPECT a hand-written note in the mail. I would love to send an e-mail but alas, it's not good enough......

If your in-laws expect it, why isn't your husband writing them.

Um exactly. And thats why my in laws dont get them...DH is too lazy to help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there needs to be a dispensation for parents of very young kids, and E-mail or in-person thank-yous should really suffice. If you really want a card in the mail instead, please don't send us a gift.

Telephone thank-yous should be plenty too.

This! However, my in-laws EXPECT a hand-written note in the mail. I would love to send an e-mail but alas, it's not good enough......

If your in-laws expect it, why isn't your husband writing them.

OP here, and I'm not disputing the purpose of thank-yous...I think everyone who sends a gift should be thanked, as it was an expense of time at the very least, and often much more than that. It's the METHOD of thank-you I don't like. I sent a few e-mails to people thanking them for birth gifts for DS. However, some people, as evidenced by this thread, think a hand-written note is necessary. I do not. But I also do not want to appear ungrateful, so I write them...and hate them

And for the pp who pointed out men can write thank-yous, totally true. But DH is a master of getting out of it, and his parents are old school, so when his GA Sally doesn't get one, it's "did you get GA Sally's gift? We haven't had a thank-you from DW". ugh. but that is my own personal issue, and certainly not everyone's!

Anonymous wrote:Also, something important to remember: Men can write thank you notes. They really can. So if his dear Aunt Greta is all up in your case about no thank you notes, then it's not your problem, it's his.

Mine can't. He can write government proposals and legal documents, but he is incapable of writing a thank-you note.

Anonymous wrote:Write thank you notes. Or don't. But don't ask me to tell you that not writing them is good manners. But then, you knew that. That's why you're asking for people to tell you otherwise.

No kidding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there needs to be a dispensation for parents of very young kids, and E-mail or in-person thank-yous should really suffice. If you really want a card in the mail instead, please don't send us a gift.

Telephone thank-yous should be plenty too.

This! However, my in-laws EXPECT a hand-written note in the mail. I would love to send an e-mail but alas, it's not good enough......

Write thank you notes. Or don't. But don't ask me to tell you that not writing them is good manners. But then, you knew that. That's why you're asking for people to tell you otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate them too. So I don't write them. I figure if a simple verbal "thank you" isn't enough, then the person who is giving the gift is expecting too much.

I give less frequently to people who don't write thank you notes. It takes, what, five minutes a note?

The rule is, if you thank them in person, no note is required. So let's clear that up.
And I am one of those people who would rather I don't receive a gift with strings attached in the first place. I NEVER give a gift and keep a mental tally of 'oh who has slacked on writing me that note and mailing it!'.

I do appreciate acknowledgement that a gift has been received, but a verbal, email, FB post, or IM 'hey thanks i got your gift' is enough for me.

And I argue with the 5 minutes a note. You have to find their address, find a stamp/envelope/card, write the note (which should be somewhat customized), and put it in the mailbox. For those of you who are perfectly organized and have quiet children, that might be easy for you. It's not so easy for me.

That is absolutely not "the rule". The rule actually is, if someone is kind enough to give you a gift, you take the three minutes it takes to write - even a customized note! - and throw it in the mailbox. I am completely, disastrously unorganized, and my children are not quiet.

And to the OP whose hand cramps up: just buy bigger paper. I'm not sure if you're using those wee tiny little thank you notes from Hallmark, but you don't have to.

Also, something important to remember: Men can write thank you notes. They really can. So if his dear Aunt Greta is all up in your case about no thank you notes, then it's not your problem, it's his.

Anonymous wrote:I think there needs to be a dispensation for parents of very young kids, and E-mail or in-person thank-yous should really suffice. If you really want a card in the mail instead, please don't send us a gift.

Telephone thank-yous should be plenty too.