NP here. Your turf, OP. Especially your MBR/MBA. He needs to respect boundaries. Why are boundaries such a big concept here?

Anonymous wrote:This is just as stupid as the gluten free thanksgiving post. You can't argue these kind of issues, they are too polarising.

Are you new to the Internet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:look i have massive hemoroids and when i shit it sounds like I am giving child birth. Plus i need to shower afterwards to wash the blood off and cleanup the toilet. Back in my day we had only 1 toilet so please let me live my glory before i die out.

If you took a shower in my master bathroom with blood, I would fucking freak out. Please tell me you do not do this in other people's homes.

We are all family related by blood. We shouldnt be ashamed of who we are. I don't mind if you use my bathroom and drop it. I prefer the shower in the master bedroom because it allows me to clean up easily and more discretely. Would you rather me cleanup in the sink downstairs?

Using the term "related by blood" can be somewhat insulting....as if saying that you aren't family if you are not "related by blood"

Second, if you want your FIL to see your master bath, good for you. I don't like anyone using my master bath except me and my DH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be obvious, even to an idiot, he wants privacy. How does this hurt you? Maybe you should have a Johnny on the Spot just for him. Does anyone in your family even like you? You are a terrible hostess.

Not the OP, but I'm one of the PPs and said I would be "livid" over this given the alternatives available to FIL (the basement bathroom).

He wants privacy, ok, fine. Well, so do I. And it's my house, not his.

In my master bathroom, at any given time there might be stuff on the countertop I don't care for guests to see (facial hair remover, Whitestrips, etc.), stuff in the medicine cabinet that is personal/private (antidepressants, birth control), wrapped/used tampons in the trash can. You get the picture. I am entitled, in my private space, to assume that extended family and friends will not be privy to my stuff/information.

I would be blunt with FIL (or ask DH to be blunt) and tell him that our master bedroom & bath are private areas, and that he should use the basement bathroom if he needs privacy.

+1.

My bathroom, my call. FIL can suck it up.

This is just as stupid as the gluten free thanksgiving post. You can't argue these kind of issues, they are too polarising.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be obvious, even to an idiot, he wants privacy. How does this hurt you? Maybe you should have a Johnny on the Spot just for him. Does anyone in your family even like you? You are a terrible hostess.

Not the OP, but I'm one of the PPs and said I would be "livid" over this given the alternatives available to FIL (the basement bathroom).

He wants privacy, ok, fine. Well, so do I. And it's my house, not his.

In my master bathroom, at any given time there might be stuff on the countertop I don't care for guests to see (facial hair remover, Whitestrips, etc.), stuff in the medicine cabinet that is personal/private (antidepressants, birth control), wrapped/used tampons in the trash can. You get the picture. I am entitled, in my private space, to assume that extended family and friends will not be privy to my stuff/information.

I would be blunt with FIL (or ask DH to be blunt) and tell him that our master bedroom & bath are private areas, and that he should use the basement bathroom if he needs privacy.

NP. I totally agree.

Me too.

Maybe you could build FIL a bathroom out in the carport.

I do not want anyone to use my master bath. My bedroom/master bath is a private space and people should not wander in uninvited. Boundaries, people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be obvious, even to an idiot, he wants privacy. How does this hurt you? Maybe you should have a Johnny on the Spot just for him. Does anyone in your family even like you? You are a terrible hostess.

Did you miss the part about the full bathroom in the basement? I have 3 levels that includes 3.5 baths, so I'm familiar with OP's setup. The majority of my hosting is done on the main level. If folks want privacy to drop a bomb, they can go in the basement. Or if they insist on going upstairs to the bedroom level, they can use the hall bathroom. Using my master bath would be a huge no-no and an invasion of my privacy. Not enough for me to throw a shit fit over, but I'd be really annoyed.

Agree 100%. Hardly a terrible hostess.

I also agree with this. It would really irk me if some one was repeatedly unnecessarily going into my private space to do their business. OP, next time they're over have your DH mention that he master bath is out of order, and also put a sign on it. And I also put notes to my snoopy SIL in various drawers, asking her why she was snooping in there. The best thing is that I know the notes pissed her off but she could never say anything, because she would then have to admit she was snooping.

We have a guest set-up in the basement (guest room and full bath). We have a half-bath RIGHT next to and in view of the kitchen. When my brother and his family visit, he usually comes upstairs and drops his morning turd bomb right in the half-bathroom WHILE I AM MAKING EVERYONE BREAKFAST. And he doesn't bother to spray the air freshener or even close the door behind him when he's done, so the aroma wafts out into the kitchen. It is incredibly gross. Why does he do this every time??!?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:look i have massive hemoroids and when i shit it sounds like I am giving child birth. Plus i need to shower afterwards to wash the blood off and cleanup the toilet. Back in my day we had only 1 toilet so please let me live my glory before i die out.

If you took a shower in my master bathroom with blood, I would fucking freak out. Please tell me you do not do this in other people's homes.

We are all family related by blood. We shouldnt be ashamed of who we are. I don't mind if you use my bathroom and drop it. I prefer the shower in the master bedroom because it allows me to clean up easily and more discretely. Would you rather me cleanup in the sink downstairs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It should be obvious, even to an idiot, he wants privacy. How does this hurt you? Maybe you should have a Johnny on the Spot just for him. Does anyone in your family even like you? You are a terrible hostess.

Not the OP, but I'm one of the PPs and said I would be "livid" over this given the alternatives available to FIL (the basement bathroom).

He wants privacy, ok, fine. Well, so do I. And it's my house, not his.

In my master bathroom, at any given time there might be stuff on the countertop I don't care for guests to see (facial hair remover, Whitestrips, etc.), stuff in the medicine cabinet that is personal/private (antidepressants, birth control), wrapped/used tampons in the trash can. You get the picture. I am entitled, in my private space, to assume that extended family and friends will not be privy to my stuff/information.

I would be blunt with FIL (or ask DH to be blunt) and tell him that our master bedroom & bath are private areas, and that he should use the basement bathroom if he needs privacy.

NP. I totally agree.

Anonymous wrote:It should be obvious, even to an idiot, he wants privacy. How does this hurt you? Maybe you should have a Johnny on the Spot just for him. Does anyone in your family even like you? You are a terrible hostess.

Not the OP, but I'm one of the PPs and said I would be "livid" over this given the alternatives available to FIL (the basement bathroom).

He wants privacy, ok, fine. Well, so do I. And it's my house, not his.

In my master bathroom, at any given time there might be stuff on the countertop I don't care for guests to see (facial hair remover, Whitestrips, etc.), stuff in the medicine cabinet that is personal/private (antidepressants, birth control), wrapped/used tampons in the trash can. You get the picture. I am entitled, in my private space, to assume that extended family and friends will not be privy to my stuff/information.

I would be blunt with FIL (or ask DH to be blunt) and tell him that our master bedroom & bath are private areas, and that he should use the basement bathroom if he needs privacy.

All right, this is easy. Just have your DH tell your father, when they're alone without you around, that the basement bathroom is the shitter, and he should use that henceforth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your toilet nicer than the one in the basement? Is the seat more comfortable? (i.e. solid material vs. flimsy uncomfortable plastic?) does it do a better job flushing down the toilet paper, etc.? People typically spend more on a master bath toilet than a basement bath, so maybe your master bath is just nicer.

Honestly, I'd think that was weird and annoying too, but he's probably just looking for privacy. I hate the idea of someone hearing me poop or smelling the evidence.

I bet the master bath has an elongated bowl. Much more comfortable.

OP here. Actually, all the toilets in our house are new and identical. Previous owners did a gut renovation.

As for the PP calling me a terrible hostess. Well, if being made to feel awkward when going into my own bedroom to get something because I didn't know (or ever contemplate) FIL using my bathroom, makes me a terrible hostess then guilty as charged. Our house is not huge, so it's not like the master suite is off in the east wing.

Anywho....I guess shit happens, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:look i have massive hemoroids and when i shit it sounds like I am giving child birth. Plus i need to shower afterwards to wash the blood off and cleanup the toilet. Back in my day we had only 1 toilet so please let me live my glory before i die out.

If you took a shower in my master bathroom with blood, I would fucking freak out. Please tell me you do not do this in other people's homes.

I think the PP was joking.