Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 20:25     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/7207730/penn-state-nittany-lions-sexual-abuse-case-support-joe-paterno-eroding

Looks like big heads will roll at Penn St. over this. Thankfully.

Wait. This was posted by a non-parent. And I found it on a sports blog and I'm a non-athlete. Uh oh!
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 20:14     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
I had a friend who was molested at 9 by a family member, it really damaged her esteem to such a degree that looking back I wish I'd understood what she was trying to tell me when we were teenagers...I didn't comprehend what she was trying to say. If an ADULT had taken some degree of responsibility in bringing the perpetrator to justice I think it would have helped her confidence immensely. She was basically ignored, like the boy in the Penn. case--everyone tried to look out for the grownups and forgot the child.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 20:10     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is beyond sick and my DH and/ or I would take down (injure severely) anyone who touched our child(ren)....we would not trust the judicial system at all....the coach in PA. esp. sickens me as his buddies covered for him. The sooner they are afraid of the consequnces perhaps the sooner they will control their sick urges.


So you think it is fine for you to take the law into your hands and mete out punishment? Then, when you're convicted, your children will become wards of the state. You are nuts.


No, only 1 of us would suffer the legal consequences, believe me, we have this down to a T....you know they are almost always paroled, released, out and about...they need to be AFRAID
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 20:03     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:You people are awful. Criticizing a male teacher for reading a board about children? Worse-- calling him "creepy" for taking an interest in the parents' POV? It's professional research. I wish my kid's teacher were more clued-in to parents' concerns!

And I applaud the teacher for his hard work in a field where male role models are severely underrepresented. Have you ever seen how kids react to the men in their schools? Gym teachers, administrators, etc? Kids, especially ones with no men at home, really value them. My husband used to teach elementary school (pre kids, the horror!) in a very low SES neighborhood. His kids adored him, and got something from him (a firm handshake, a different kind of discipline, a male perspective on their problems) they weren't getting anywhere else. We need to be encouraging men to get in to teaching, not vilifying them based on some very rare (despite OP's inflammatory departure point) sick individuals.


Thank you. Glad to know not everyone on here is crazy. I've never represented myself as a parent and, if relevant, made clear my lack of children (as I did here). I know firsthand the stigma placed on men who work with young children. It is unfortunate, and most so for the many, many (all?) children who would benefit from having more male figures in their lives.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 19:59     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
You people are awful. Criticizing a male teacher for reading a board about children? Worse-- calling him "creepy" for taking an interest in the parents' POV? It's professional research. I wish my kid's teacher were more clued-in to parents' concerns!

And I applaud the teacher for his hard work in a field where male role models are severely underrepresented. Have you ever seen how kids react to the men in their schools? Gym teachers, administrators, etc? Kids, especially ones with no men at home, really value them. My husband used to teach elementary school (pre kids, the horror!) in a very low SES neighborhood. His kids adored him, and got something from him (a firm handshake, a different kind of discipline, a male perspective on their problems) they weren't getting anywhere else. We need to be encouraging men to get in to teaching, not vilifying them based on some very rare (despite OP's inflammatory departure point) sick individuals.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 19:49     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
jsteele wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
All of you pointing out all of this- REPORT HIM to DCUM and get him off these boards.. wtf- who with no kids is reading this -per subject line sexual molestation and children- and gets so defensive- PERVERT alert.


Somebody did report him, which I appreciate, and I do not believe the suspicions of him are well-founded. I would note that this is the "off-topic" forum and therefore one in which non-parents would find topics of interest. DCUM as a whole has a lot to interest non-parents. A teacher, in particular, might find the schools forums of interest. I also think it is obvious that molestation of children is an issue of concern even to non-parents.

I am by no means criticizing the person that reported the poster. As I said, I appreciate drawing my attention to such cases. I have no other way to show that I acted on the report and came to the conclusion that nothing is amiss.


Wow. I am the poster in question and am shocked that this is the response. Jeff, I understand that you have to follow up on reports and am glad that you've found them unfounded. But I find it pretty absurd that people think this space is exclusive to parents. In spite of the name, I didn't know that I had to prove parenthood to read or post here. I'm a teacher and many (most?) of the topics on here have nothing to do with parenting. People didn't seem to mind my presence when I was offering advice on navigating the world of private school admissions or how to handle special needs children or all that. But call out a poster for his biased, ignorant, and ultimately dangerous worldview and suddenly the crazy comes out. Again, wow.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 19:28     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:Parents, the best thing you can do to protect your kids from predators like this is not keep all "strange" men out of their life. You have to instill in them the confidence to know that if ANYONE approaches them offering them gifts or money for no real reason, or seems to want to spend time with them one-on-one, that they can come tell you and you will believe them and do something about it. Most of the predators are not stupid; they prey on children who do not come from these environments, who need the attention from someone else. They purposely choose the weak ones, the ones who don't get enough love and attention at home to know better, the ones whose parents aren't with it enough to notice what's going on or immediately become suspicious of an adult treating their child "specially." Believe me, the first step from protecting your children against these people is focusing on THE KIDS.


I understand that you are trying to give some sound advice here. But I honestly find a lot of this offensive. Yes, parents should always try to cultivate open communication with their children and pay attention to them. But this post reads that molestation only happens to children that are not "loved properly." That is just not true. And that kind of message can be damaging to the parents of victimized children AND to the victimized children themselves.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 18:21     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:It is beyond sick and my DH and/ or I would take down (injure severely) anyone who touched our child(ren)....we would not trust the judicial system at all....the coach in PA. esp. sickens me as his buddies covered for him. The sooner they are afraid of the consequnces perhaps the sooner they will control their sick urges.


So you think it is fine for you to take the law into your hands and mete out punishment? Then, when you're convicted, your children will become wards of the state. You are nuts.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 07:56     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...



I'm a male teacher. No kids of my own. So you're children couldn't be in my class? Well done.



Just curious -- this site is a space for parents. Why are you here?


And if you are a teacher, why are you making early elementary level grammatical errors like "you're children"?


All of you pointing out all of this- REPORT HIM to DCUM and get him off these boards.. wtf- who with no kids is reading this -per subject line sexual molestation and children- and gets so defensive- PERVERT alert.


My daughter has plenty of UNMARRIED female teachers in her elementary school - young and old. If the above poster were female, let's say, would you report her? Men are not the only abusers in this world. Have you seen the news laterly? females having sex wtih minors? I'm ashamed to admit they've been teachers.

But come on! One childless male teacher posting on this topic doesn't make him a threat. Some of you are truly whack jobs.

Signed,
married teacher, mother of two
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 01:28     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Because there are men? And women molested by men?
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2011 01:25     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:This is in no way defending their actions, but child sex crimes and adultery remind me than humans are animals wearing a very thin coat of morals and conscience. We forget that, in the end, we are animals with very powerful instincts. It helps explain why these things even exist in the first place. Again, does not excuse it.


I put child sexual abuse in a whole 'nother ballpark from adultery. And I'm not fan of adultery either.
jsteele
Post 11/07/2011 23:18     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
All of you pointing out all of this- REPORT HIM to DCUM and get him off these boards.. wtf- who with no kids is reading this -per subject line sexual molestation and children- and gets so defensive- PERVERT alert.


Somebody did report him, which I appreciate, and I do not believe the suspicions of him are well-founded. I would note that this is the "off-topic" forum and therefore one in which non-parents would find topics of interest. DCUM as a whole has a lot to interest non-parents. A teacher, in particular, might find the schools forums of interest. I also think it is obvious that molestation of children is an issue of concern even to non-parents.

I am by no means criticizing the person that reported the poster. As I said, I appreciate drawing my attention to such cases. I have no other way to show that I acted on the report and came to the conclusion that nothing is amiss.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 22:59     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...



I'm a male teacher. No kids of my own. So you're children couldn't be in my class? Well done.



Just curious -- this site is a space for parents. Why are you here?


And if you are a teacher, why are you making early elementary level grammatical errors like "you're children"?


All of you pointing out all of this- REPORT HIM to DCUM and get him off these boards.. wtf- who with no kids is reading this -per subject line sexual molestation and children- and gets so defensive- PERVERT alert.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 22:24     Subject: S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It is beyond sick and my DH and/ or I would take down (injure severely) anyone who touched our child(ren)....we would not trust the judicial system at all....the coach in PA. esp. sickens me as his buddies covered for him. The sooner they are afraid of the consequnces perhaps the sooner they will control their sick urges.


Ditto.


+1 - Anyone who does something like that to my kid better hope the police get to them first, and they really shouldn't post bond.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2011 22:13     Subject: Re:S/O why is sexual molestation of children so common?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad, and I never ever allow my kids in groups where men are in charge unless the man has a child in the group. i.e., no coaches, no scoutmasters, no whatever, unless the man has a kid involved ...



I'm a male teacher. No kids of my own. So you're children couldn't be in my class? Well done.


If you are not a parent, why are you even on this site? That's creepy to me in and of itself.