Don't do it alone. Thanksgiving is for family. Either stay with DH or figure out a less stressful time for the two of you to drive together (with kids).

If I wanted to be with my family and had promised DH that he didn't have to go, I'd totally drive to Boston with three kiddos. I'm more bothered by folks here who says that their husband wouldn't let them (let? seriously, what year is this?) or who imply that you're not capable (dang, I've flown internationally with three kids a number of times - one time with two cats too! - and DH met us there or flew a week or two later - it's totally do-able). You're obviously capable, and you obviously have great reasons for wanting to take this trip. So go for it, make it fun, and don't resent your DH for doing his own thing. And heck, maybe at the last minute he'll either join you or you'll both figure out that it's more fun being together and you won't spend another holiday apart. If you can swing it, I would make a point of reserving a hotel midway thru the trip - and make sure it has a pool. Hotel pools make long drives so much better for kids.

If I wanted to be with my family and had promised DH that he didn't have to go, I'd totally drive to Boston with three kiddos. I'm more bothered by folks here who says that their husband wouldn't let them (let? seriously, what year is this?) or who imply that you're not capable (dang, I've flown internationally with three kids a number of times - one time with two cats too! - and DH met us there or flew a week or two later - it's totally do-able). You're obviously capable, and you obviously have great reasons for wanting to take this trip. So go for it, make it fun, and don't resent your DH for doing his own thing. And heck, maybe at the last minute he'll either join you or you'll both figure out that it's more fun being together and you won't spend another holiday apart. If you can swing it, I would make a point of reserving a hotel midway thru the trip - and make sure it has a pool. Hotel pools make long drives so much better for kids.

On the way back from TN this summer, we all said that we didn't want to do that again. My 5 year old said that she never, ever wanted to drive that far again, ever. But here I am thinking we will go again this coming July 4 because my father isn't getting any younger. I know where you are coming from. It is too bad though that your dh is willing for you to do this on your own. For myself, I think of these trips as family duty rather than my own personal fun. Sometimes you have fun here and there too, but if you think of it more as an obligation, that helps you get through it. And I hope when I am 99 years old, people will make the effort to come and see me. It is good karma to make the effort to go on these trips. I see why you want to go OP, but I still think your dh should come to.

I'm not sure why 4 y/o's cannot wheel their own bags? Better yet pack one small carry on and ship the rest up. The train is not nearly as difficult as you're making it out to be, especially when they allow families to board first, and I'm 99% sure you can ask to have someone assist you and the kids.

Every single year I want to skip out on a holiday with the inlaws. BUT I feel its important, more important than my needs. We just modify to make it work better for us and the kids. Shorter time, stay in a hotel etc. Honestly that drive north is tough but flying or the train with kids is expensive, crowded, potental for weather related delays increase 10 fold. Its why we drive every year. Leave Wednesday morning - no later than 8 am. As long as your stops aren't too long - you'll make it thru the worst part before the traffic really starts. Unless your destination is in CT, AVOID IT. We actually drive up thru NY Turnpike to the MA Turnpike. Its a little longer but there is no traffic and its fast driving. Makes up for the entire state of CT gridlock. We return home either half way on Saturday afternoon, the rest of the way early Sunday morning. Or we come back on Monday. DON'T try to do the whole trip on Sunday. By the time you reach MD its non-stop gridlock. Keep your eyes on the weather and if anything is heading your way leave earlier than planned.

For those that suggest flying at Thanksgiving. Have you ever done ? Besides the cost - holy crap its the busiest travel time of the year (even more than Christmas). The airports are a zoo, awful, awful, awful.

If DH really would rather not drive or come then I would split up the kids and make it a "special" event for one or two of them. DVD's and portable potty are your friends. Pack lunches so all you have to do at the rest stops is get gas, go to the bathroom and let the kids run around. We also don't drive at night - we are too tired and too worried we'll fall asleep at the wheel.

I'm sure people are looking for trips north at the holidays. See if a friend or family member might be willing to help.

Anonymous wrote:OP, others have asked this but you haven't answered - is there a reason all three kids need to go with you?

Could you fly there alone for two days and spend the rest of the weekend with DH and your children?

The reason for all three kids going is that Thanksgiving matters to me and I want to spend it with my kids. I really want to spend it with DH too, but I understand that I promised him that he could skip the trip, and I don't want to go back on that, and that he doesn't want to go. Also, I think it would be nice for them to see all the relatives. I'm hoping that my 4 year olds might be old enough now that they will remember meeting their 99 year old great-great aunt, and their great grandmother. I think they will all enjoy the big 150+ family party the day after thanksgiving. The relatives will all enjoy seeing all three of them, etc.

OP, others have asked this but you haven't answered - is there a reason all three kids need to go with you?

Could you fly there alone for two days and spend the rest of the weekend with DH and your children?

O, if only it were that easy. OP would have to lug the bags by herself through the gates to the train on the DC side, then once in Boston, up at least one set of escalators, I believe. Tough to do with all those kids. There is no help like at airports.

I read OP's post differently -- I didn't get that DH is making her drive down by herself. More that, they agreed to skip Thanksgiving in Boston this year, but she changed her mind and is okay with driving by herself. To me, her post didn't read that anyone is making anyone do anything. If he volunteers to go, great. But, man, haven't you guys ever wanted to skip out on a holiday with the in-laws once? I'm totally ok when my husband doesn't want to join me at some event. On the other hand, he always prefers that I come along on all his family visits. So, I get different strokes for different folks.

Anonymous wrote:Could your mom or some other relative fly down, then ride up with you and the kids? For me, I think the cost of the roundtrip ticket would be worth the extra help. By the way, I wouldn't waste a thought about leaving your husband for Thanksgiving. If it's okay with him and you, then who cares what other posters think? (Personally, I would prefer the alone time over a crazy weekend with the M-I-L - who is lovely, but nutso around the holidays.)

Also, if you take the train, I would ship your luggage ahead (it's only about $35/bag via FedEx, I believe - we've done this a few times), and rent car seats once in Boston.

These are the best suggestions yet. Amtrak's probably the best option. What's the issue with the bags, by the way? Why don't you have your DH drop you off, bags and all, and then meet you when you return? Your family can take care of the bags on your arrival in New England. If you're still uncomfortable with that, then you can have your mother fly down and then take Amtrak with you, she can help coordinate the bags and children.

Round trip flights to Boston would be about $640. Less than the train. 3 kids of this age is a problem with just 1 parent. The drive alone sounds hideous.

We are driving this weekend to visit my DH's family 4.5 hrs away. I do not feel like going. We have a ton of stuff we need to get done in the coming weeks as we prepare to move. I'd love a weekend by myslef to chill. However, I would never make my husband drive 5 hours by himseld with our 2 yr old. Let alone making him drive 8 hr with 3 kids. I'd either not go or tell your husband to suck it up and do it not because it is important to him, but because it is obviously important to you.

and yes, I think you are crazy to even think about doing it by yourself but then again you know yourself and your kids better than I do.

Could your mom or some other relative fly down, then ride up with you and the kids? For me, I think the cost of the roundtrip ticket would be worth the extra help. By the way, I wouldn't waste a thought about leaving your husband for Thanksgiving. If it's okay with him and you, then who cares what other posters think? (Personally, I would prefer the alone time over a crazy weekend with the M-I-L - who is lovely, but nutso around the holidays.)

Also, if you take the train, I would ship your luggage ahead (it's only about $35/bag via FedEx, I believe - we've done this a few times), and rent car seats once in Boston.

Sounds like the conversation I have with my DH every time we drive from DC to NY (Long Island). He starts throwing a temper tantrum toward the end of the NJ Turnpike or in Staten Island that we'll never make the trip ever again ever. Flying or taking the train are just too expensive for all of us. The last time we made the trip, DH flew home early for work and my mom drove home with me. I don't know if I could take all 3 kids by myself (1, 3 and 5yo) though.