Here's my story: I grew up in a really excellent public school district, far away from here. I got a good education from those public schools, but easily coasted to good grades and was never really challenged. Indeed, my grades began to slip some to the B range, because I considered it boring and unnecessary to study, and I would just take tests cold, without studying at all. After middle school, my parents switched me to a top local private school in our city, and my experience changed entirely. The classes were much more challenging, the teachers were uniformly better, the peer group was focused on learning, and it was even sort of "cool" to excel in academics. For the first time, I really had to study hard to get good grades, and I really loved it! I also experienced what PP described about participation in extracurriculars. I was a good-not-great athlete in the high-profile sports like soccer and basketball, so if I had gone to public school, I likely would have skipped organized sports entirely. But at my private school, all students were required to participate in after-school athletics or other extracurriculars, for all three seasons of the school year. As a result, I was pushed into trying a new sport I never would have considered at public school, and which I really enjoyed (and found I was very good at!). My partner had some similar experiences in another state.

For these reasons, our kids all attend local private schools, even though we have several very good local public schools near our house. Maybe my children would have very different experiences in our local public schools than I had growing up -- there's no way to know for sure. But my own experience made a very strong impression on me, so I want to make sure I offer my children the wonderful opportunity I almost missed. My neighbors say generally positive things about the very strong local public schools, but even they have many complaints and describe lots of problems that may be unavoidable at big bureaucratic schools.

Ultimately, I'm certain that it's possible for many children to get a good education at any decent public school. But I just see too much of a chance that many other children will get unintentionally "lost in the shuffle" -- or can intentionally "hide in the weeds" -- at large public schools. Those "lost" children will still do fine, but they will get less out of school than they should. Getting "lost" is simply not possible at smaller private schools where the focus is much more on the individual students.

I hope that helps explain my thinking.

I live in a GREAT school district in Fairfax County, but I send my child to a private school. I do it for a couple of reasons. First, the private that my child attends offers a language curriculum that can't be matched by my local public, no matter how good it is in other areas. Language enrichment is extremely high on my specific list of requirements from a school. That's not a negative comment on my local public. It just doesn't offer something very specific to me that is offered by a private. Second, I myself was educated in a private school in a school district which features a public high school that consistently ranks among the top 5 in the nation. I see great benefits that I gained from my private school experience (smaller class sizes, opportunities to play multiple sports, opportunities to participate in school dramatics, opportunities to write for the school newspaper, etc.) that I would have missed out on at the public school. I was never the best athlete or the best actor, but I at least had the chance to try those things out, which enriched my life immeasurably. Had I gone to my local public, which regularly features professional athletes and big name movie stars among its alumni, I would have been cut at the first audition and would have missed out on a lifetime of great experiences. I am not driven to see to it that my child becomes a star in any of these things, but I do want to put her in a school environment where she has the opportunity to at least try them out.

Anonymous wrote:
You over presume. I am not a parent of a child with "a unique learning style" My DC is doing very well in a DC private. I was simply playing devils advocate with you because I thought your answers or lack thereof are revealing. As a DC resident whose child got into private,but who have many fiends in DC with very bright children who could not get in, I wonder what motivates parents who live in FFX or MOCO to do that commute every day when their local public school is wonderful . I understand if you are looking for racial diversity as suburbs are isolating in that respect, but come on if your kid has no learning issues and you have a wonderful public why take the spot. What are you seeking ?

Not the PP, but we are in Arlington and pondering the same things. zoned for a great pyramid but considering private. One reason is that I'm a big proponent of single sex education. I'm the product of a single sex middle and high school, and as an adult the more I read the more I'm convinced it has value for both boys and girls. No matter how great my local public is, for now we don't have single-sex public options around here that I'm aware of.

I like that my senior year in high school there were 3 of us in my foreign language class. Just 3. I somehow have this impression that at a public that would be deemed under-enrolled and the class would be cancelled. Smaller school means more opportunity in all extracurriculars. Smaller pools of candidates for sports teams, school plays, choir. My kid has more opportunity to experience a range of activities that she might not get to try otherwise. My impression, for now as I'm researching schools for my child, is that publics really do have to teach to the test when it comes to demonstrating school performance. Privates aren't motivated in the same way, so their focus on my child is different.

I presumed nothing, other than the fact that you might be a parent genuinely seeking information to help you find the right school for your child. I see I was wrong there, so I apologize. As for the generous offer to be my devil's advocate, I will kindly pass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am the PP you are asking this Q to and there is no magic buzz word that you are missing. There is no general answer I can give you to help you understand what great local publics might be lacking for some children. I do not wish to detail exactly what our public might be missing for our child on this forum, but ours was a very personal and child specific decision that was driven by advice from multiple teachers who knew our child well and then professionals who backed up the teacher's recommendations. All I can say is that if you have no compelling academic or social reason to forgo your public and are looking for the magic buzz word, then you most likely don't have a child that warrants such a concern. That doesn't mean you won't be interested in privates necessarily, it just means your child is doing great and teachers aren't concerned about any isuues....which is a great thing :). Sorry I can't be more specific for you but I hope this helped a little.

Can you explain how a private school can better address the specific needs that all of your "teachers and other professionals" rcommnended. I am NOT asking for you to share your DC cognitive issues, just the reason why all of his/her teachers were so sure that a private school would be better? Seems odd to me given that publics have to have an IEP mandated by law and many privates do not offer resource teachers for "LD" kids.

Sorry, I am not trying to be difficult, but I do not wish to detail the specific issues of my child and how our specific private school has "worked" for us on this public forum. It is too personal..but beyond that, I also don't believe that our situation will be relevant to your decision making for your child.

Since you have referenced IEPs and LD specialists, I will say that neither of these were relevant for our situation. We would not have needed those at the public, we are not getting any special services at private and have not identified our child as being anything but another student who might thrive in their community.

If you have something specific related to your child that you are looking to answer, you might get more useful information by posting your child's specific needs in a separate thread and see what people are willing to share with you. Good luck :)

You over presume. I am not a parent of a child with "a unique learning style" My DC is doing very well in a DC private. I was simply playing devils advocate with you because I thought your answers or lack thereof are revealing. As a DC resident whose child got into private,but who have many fiends in DC with very bright children who could not get in, I wonder what motivates parents who live in FFX or MOCO to do that commute every day when their local public school is wonderful . I understand if you are looking for racial diversity as suburbs are isolating in that respect, but come on if your kid has no learning issues and you have a wonderful public why take the spot. What are you seeking ?

Anonymous wrote:NP here, but I can give two examples - I have two DC's who we moved out of a strong public into private. For DC one, the problem was that she is very advanced academically but happy to coast with easy A's, and the school did not have the flexibility to demand more from her. In her private school the teachers ask her to go "above and beyond" the basic assignment, and she is learning that effort is a good thing. For DC two, he learns best when he feels personally connected with his teachers - otherwise he tends to give up easily. Public classes were just too big for him to feel truly connected. Neither public nor private will offer an IEP for "happy to coast" or "gives up too easily", but the fit in small private school classes has worked to each child's advantage. If I had different kids, we would have stayed with public.

Nice examples..

Anonymous wrote:

I am the PP you are asking this Q to and there is no magic buzz word that you are missing. There is no general answer I can give you to help you understand what great local publics might be lacking for some children. I do not wish to detail exactly what our public might be missing for our child on this forum, but ours was a very personal and child specific decision that was driven by advice from multiple teachers who knew our child well and then professionals who backed up the teacher's recommendations. All I can say is that if you have no compelling academic or social reason to forgo your public and are looking for the magic buzz word, then you most likely don't have a child that warrants such a concern. That doesn't mean you won't be interested in privates necessarily, it just means your child is doing great and teachers aren't concerned about any isuues....which is a great thing :). Sorry I can't be more specific for you but I hope this helped a little.

Can you explain how a private school can better address the specific needs that all of your "teachers and other professionals" rcommnended. I am NOT asking for you to share your DC cognitive issues, just the reason why all of his/her teachers were so sure that a private school would be better? Seems odd to me given that publics have to have an IEP mandated by law and many privates do not offer resource teachers for "LD" kids.

Sorry, I am not trying to be difficult, but I do not wish to detail the specific issues of my child and how our specific private school has "worked" for us on this public forum. It is too personal..but beyond that, I also don't believe that our situation will be relevant to your decision making for your child.

Since you have referenced IEPs and LD specialists, I will say that neither of these were relevant for our situation. We would not have needed those at the public, we are not getting any special services at private and have not identified our child as being anything but another student who might thrive in their community.

If you have something specific related to your child that you are looking to answer, you might get more useful information by posting your child's specific needs in a separate thread and see what people are willing to share with you. Good luck :)

NP here, but I can give two examples - I have two DC's who we moved out of a strong public into private. For DC one, the problem was that she is very advanced academically but happy to coast with easy A's, and the school did not have the flexibility to demand more from her. In her private school the teachers ask her to go "above and beyond" the basic assignment, and she is learning that effort is a good thing. For DC two, he learns best when he feels personally connected with his teachers - otherwise he tends to give up easily. Public classes were just too big for him to feel truly connected. Neither public nor private will offer an IEP for "happy to coast" or "gives up too easily", but the fit in small private school classes has worked to each child's advantage. If I had different kids, we would have stayed with public.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Cuious, as I have heard many people say things like this : just why would your DC NOT be happy in your wonderful public that did such a great job educating you and is sought after by so many? Is there a buzz word that I am not understanding? Publics tailor to special needs through IEP mandate. Private's do not. "great publics" still offer art and music, so when you say,"we live in bounds for a highly sought after public" that means your school has a great art and music program. So, specifically: what is it lacking?

I am the PP you are asking this Q to and there is no magic buzz word that you are missing. There is no general answer I can give you to help you understand what great local publics might be lacking for some children. I do not wish to detail exactly what our public might be missing for our child on this forum, but ours was a very personal and child specific decision that was driven by advice from multiple teachers who knew our child well and then professionals who backed up the teacher's recommendations. All I can say is that if you have no compelling academic or social reason to forgo your public and are looking for the magic buzz word, then you most likely don't have a child that warrants such a concern. That doesn't mean you won't be interested in privates necessarily, it just means your child is doing great and teachers aren't concerned about any isuues....which is a great thing :). Sorry I can't be more specific for you but I hope this helped a little.

Can you explain how a private school can better address the specific needs that all of your "teachers and other professionals" rcommnended. I am NOT asking for you to share your DC cognitive issues, just the reason why all of his/her teachers were so sure that a private school would be better? Seems odd to me given that publics have to have an IEP mandated by law and many privates do not offer resource teachers for "LD" kids.

PS 23:49 here again...I will concur with the earlier poster who said I was lucky enough to have a choice to forgo the public and pay private for the benefit of my child. I consider myself very very fortunate .

Anonymous wrote:

Cuious, as I have heard many people say things like this : just why would your DC NOT be happy in your wonderful public that did such a great job educating you and is sought after by so many? Is there a buzz word that I am not understanding? Publics tailor to special needs through IEP mandate. Private's do not. "great publics" still offer art and music, so when you say,"we live in bounds for a highly sought after public" that means your school has a great art and music program. So, specifically: what is it lacking?

I am the PP you are asking this Q to and there is no magic buzz word that you are missing. There is no general answer I can give you to help you understand what great local publics might be lacking for some children. I do not wish to detail exactly what our public might be missing for our child on this forum, but ours was a very personal and child specific decision that was driven by advice from multiple teachers who knew our child well and then professionals who backed up the teacher's recommendations. All I can say is that if you have no compelling academic or social reason to forgo your public and are looking for the magic buzz word, then you most likely don't have a child that warrants such a concern. That doesn't mean you won't be interested in privates necessarily, it just means your child is doing great and teachers aren't concerned about any isuues....which is a great thing :). Sorry I can't be more specific for you but I hope this helped a little.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of reasons why any given family might choose private for their child, even when their local public is highly regarded. Just because your local school is great doesn't necessarily mean it is the best place for every child. I am a long time proponent of public and live in a highly sought out district in MoCo. I am a product of MoCo publics myself and was well prepared for college, grad school, career etc. Yet, I find myself as a parent of a privately educated child because of recommendations by teachers and professionals that public was probably not be the best option right now for our child's happiness or education. It's not all about getting into college later, or making connections..it's not always so black and white...it's often a matter of recognizing what each of your children will need out of school in terms of education and environment to help them be a happy and thrive academically and socially healthy person. That can certainly be done via public, and for many it is...but it is not the case for every child. Believe me, I wish it were the case for our child, but I am happy in our private so far....and we have a happy, thriving child..so mission accomplished (for now at least).

This post is too sane, too rational and too non-confrontational. Good job!

Thanks :)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some schools in top publics are not very diverse. There are several schools in my county where my kids private schools (not all that diverse) are more diverse than some of the publics. There are some schools with very few blacks and hispanics and some schools with very few blacks, hispanics and Asians.

I see this a lot from private school parents who don't have kids in public schools. It's wrong. It's especially wrong when you consider economic diversity.

Are you kidding me. My local public school is almost completely White and Asians. Virtually no blacks or hispanics, no rentals, no apartments. It does have a decent amount of townhomes but the majority of the homes are single family. The cheapest housing approx. 350k and not very many of them. The average housing price is probably 600K, if not higher. Trust me, it has less economic diversity, and racial diversity than a lot of privates. So yes, my biracial child gets more economic and racial diversity in private. I grew up in classrooms being the only black child, if I can avoid having my child experience this then I will.

Of course I do not have much sympathy for parents who live in extremely wealthy areas and then complain about diversity (precisely what I'm doing) because they chose where to live and could move if they really wanted diversity. I figured my kids would get diversity either in our neighborhood, at school or both in school and our neighborhood. We will continue to evaluate private and public and do what we think is best for a child. Right now private is working for us and my child has black, white and Asian friends. What I really like about the school is that they are teaching the kids values, respect, treating each other fairly and most important inclusion.

I just went to the website for Blue Igloo, I think that has to be the craziest thing I have ever seen. $3200 for a couple of hours of play each day with this group. You have to supervise your own child and be responsible for snacks 3x a year for the entire group too! SMH

Anonymous wrote:What I found particularly telling in this article, and that I'm surprised nobody has mentioned, is the WIS admissions director saying that she sees the WPPSI being useful only insofar as it flags kids who perform well below the norm. I am even more surprised that we haven't seen the usual WPPSI prep course advocates coming out in full throat against this article. After all, without constantly stoking the fear among understandably insecure parents that sub-genius scores will forever hinder a child's acceptance into and advancement through the area's top private schools, the bottom falls out of their business.

Of course, I see a huge opportunity for entrepreneurs who want to start up a "play date" prep program for 2-3 year-olds. For only $500/hr, your child can learn how to play nicely with others in the 98th percentile.

They've already got that. It's called Blue Igloo.