Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: IT gov't contractor

Is he in any sort of biz dev role? I'm in sales to te fed gov and it is pretty much expected that we run hard and play hard. It is not uncommon to take industry people out and shut the bar down. In my space, drunkeness is quite the norm. What is considered acceptable would get most people fired in a different industry.

?

Really? You are taking your government clients out until 3am on work nights? I kinda find that hard to believe. If you are going out to bars that actually fill up with people on weeknights, then you are all probably at least a decade (or many decades) older than the clientele around you. And if you are going out elsewhere you are probably the only people in the bar.

Just to clarify, those with the "2 drink rule": How long do you assume it takes to consume those drinks? B/c it matters whether those 2 drinks are consumed in a half hour, one hour, 2 hours or 3 hours. As well as the size and content of the drink. Plus whether you have eaten all day or are just snacking while you drink or are consuming it with a full meal over the course of a meal.

2 of those 'standard' giant vodka martinis at mortons is very different than 2 12 oz cans of light beer.

Anonymous wrote:If he has had more than 2 drinks, he will take a cab. Period. This applies to if he has had a few drinks at a work event, happy hour, or watching football on the weekends. It applies to me too. It does not matter how much the cab is, the rule in our household is "the cost/inconvenience of a cab is always less than the cost/inconvenience of a DUI".

To answer your question, 1-2 times a year for him. For me, maybe 4 times a year. I work in a sales job, the end of quarter happy hours get buzzed almost every time.

I think one reason that people who have a drinking problem drink and drive is as OP said, they are in denial that it is a problem and taking a cab is an admission that you are drunk. Taking a cab home 2-3 times a week or even once a week, when during the work/school week, would get prohibitively expensive, but also make it harder to deny that a problem exists.

I think OP should consider separating until her dh has this under control. Until then, you are in dire financial and legal danger from his recklessness/alcohol problem. This is just plain practical.

If he has had more than 2 drinks, he will take a cab. Period. This applies to if he has had a few drinks at a work event, happy hour, or watching football on the weekends. It applies to me too. It does not matter how much the cab is, the rule in our household is "the cost/inconvenience of a cab is always less than the cost/inconvenience of a DUI".

To answer your question, 1-2 times a year for him. For me, maybe 4 times a year. I work in a sales job, the end of quarter happy hours get buzzed almost every time.

Never ever does my DH come home from work buzzed or drunk. He does drink, but definitely NO DRIVING after even a single drink.

Working mom here. I generally have several events a year from which I come home buzzed or slightly drunk. I'm a lightweight, so even though I limit what I drink, if there is wine being poured constantly during a dinner, or if I order a cocktail because my client does, it's hard not to get a little buzzed. And frankly, sometimes is just makes the event easier if I'm a little buzzed.

But I never drive after drinking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: IT gov't contractor

Is he in any sort of biz dev role? I'm in sales to te fed gov and it is pretty much expected that we run hard and play hard. It is not uncommon to take industry people out and shut the bar down. In my space, drunkeness is quite the norm. What is considered acceptable would get most people fired in a different industry.

This is kind of pathetic.

So you arrive home drunk from 'work' at least once a week? And you and your family are ok with this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: IT gov't contractor

Is he in any sort of biz dev role? I'm in sales to te fed gov and it is pretty much expected that we run hard and play hard. It is not uncommon to take industry people out and shut the bar down. In my space, drunkeness is quite the norm. What is considered acceptable would get most people fired in a different industry.

This is kind of pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: IT gov't contractor

Is he in any sort of biz dev role? I'm in sales to te fed gov and it is pretty much expected that we run hard and play hard. It is not uncommon to take industry people out and shut the bar down. In my space, drunkeness is quite the norm. What is considered acceptable would get most people fired in a different industry.

pp, not op. My husband is in that field too, and regularly goes to happy hours, but switches to diet coke after two drinks. So do several of our friends.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: IT gov't contractor

Not *expected* in this group.
My DH goes to a work related social once every couple months, maybe comes home "feeling good" twice a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband comes home about once every three weeks, slightly buzzed. He takes the Metro, so no driving and the kids are in bed when he gets home. I would be concerned about the driving. Why can't he take public transportation on those nights. I would even go pick him up and take him back the next morning. Drinking and driving is not an option.

You would wake up your kids and get them out of their beds on a school night, pack them in the car for an hour or so and tell them that you need to go pick up Daddy b/c he got too drunk at work to drive home. Then you would make the kids late for school or else be late for work yourself so that you could drive him back the bar where he was the night before to get his car. And you would do this once or twice a month? Really?

No the pp, but yeah I would wake up my kids on a school night and make them sleep deprived the next day in order to ensure that my husband wasn't drinking and driving. I'd rather that my kids are exhausted than lose their dad in a drunk driving accident.

Thankfully, for me, that has only happened once. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Why would anyone do this when there is that taxi service that will drive your car for you with you in the passenger seat? Most people I know/work with use this service quite often after happy hours.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: IT gov't contractor

Is he in any sort of biz dev role? I'm in sales to te fed gov and it is pretty much expected that we run hard and play hard. It is not uncommon to take industry people out and shut the bar down. In my space, drunkeness is quite the norm. What is considered acceptable would get most people fired in a different industry.

Never. Though my DH is not a big drinker, when he does drink, he can consume a startling amount of alcohol and appear dead sober. The only time I've seen him drunk, is when he drank about 15-20 drinks at my holiday party and even then he was still walking and talking with complete coherence. It would probably take him double that to actually be sloppy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband comes home about once every three weeks, slightly buzzed. He takes the Metro, so no driving and the kids are in bed when he gets home. I would be concerned about the driving. Why can't he take public transportation on those nights. I would even go pick him up and take him back the next morning. Drinking and driving is not an option.

You would wake up your kids and get them out of their beds on a school night, pack them in the car for an hour or so and tell them that you need to go pick up Daddy b/c he got too drunk at work to drive home. Then you would make the kids late for school or else be late for work yourself so that you could drive him back the bar where he was the night before to get his car. And you would do this once or twice a month? Really?

No the pp, but yeah I would wake up my kids on a school night and make them sleep deprived the next day in order to ensure that my husband wasn't drinking and driving. I'd rather that my kids are exhausted than lose their dad in a drunk driving accident.

Thankfully, for me, that has only happened once. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Maybe once or twice a year.