Anonymous wrote:I would ask about a convenient time to pick up rather than her bedtime. If they are going to watch a movie or be in the middle of an activity it is better to pick up before or after.

I was never allowed to do many sleepovers growing up and I really resented it and still feel it was unfair. It was a bond and story that my friends had that I was never a part of and even now as adults talk talk about awesome memories of sleepovers and I got nothing. Obviously it isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life but it sucked missing out on the fun when you you knew everyone else was there and you weren't. Regardless of their reason it made me stand out as different than everyone else.

My parents weren't worried about molesters. They were very anti-TV and movies (no computers / video games then!) and didn't want us exposed to TV/movies. Sigh.

Sorry but your friends didn't have much of a life after childhood if they still talk about sleepovers as some great memory. I went to tons of sleepovers - none, not one -sticks out as some amazing memory. They all just kind of mesh together. I am sure they were fun at the time but really not so amazing.

Sleepovers are one of the great memories I have from childhood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to love sleep overs too, bff's parents were complete morons. Let's see, we snuck out every single time to make out with the neighborhood boys, smoked pot with her older sister, snuck out and went to parties with her older sister (high school parties while we were in 7th grade), watched the excorcist (that was the most traumatic thing of all, still hate it)
I'm not trying to scare anyone, but really, you have no idea about other parents, even if you know them. Her parents meant well but they had NO CLUE what we were up to.
And the guns thing scares me since I have 2 very curious boys.

I cannot imagine what the kids of you anti-sleepover parents will be like in college?? Oh, boy.

I see. So letting kids attend sleepovers and parties = kids who never get in trouble in college. Didn't realize it was that easy.

I would ask about a convenient time to pick up rather than her bedtime. If they are going to watch a movie or be in the middle of an activity it is better to pick up before or after.

I was never allowed to do many sleepovers growing up and I really resented it and still feel it was unfair. It was a bond and story that my friends had that I was never a part of and even now as adults talk talk about awesome memories of sleepovers and I got nothing. Obviously it isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life but it sucked missing out on the fun when you you knew everyone else was there and you weren't. Regardless of their reason it made me stand out as different than everyone else.

My parents weren't worried about molesters. They were very anti-TV and movies (no computers / video games then!) and didn't want us exposed to TV/movies. Sigh.

OP, I am in complete agreement with you on no sleepovers. My DD is 5 and we have already told her that she will not be doing them!

Anonymous wrote:No reason for sleepovers for middle school ages and beyond.

How about because the kids enjoy them?

You teach your kids how to make good decisions and then give them age-appropriate freedoms to do so.

No reason for sleepovers for middle school ages and beyond.

Anonymous wrote:I used to love sleep overs too, bff's parents were complete morons. Let's see, we snuck out every single time to make out with the neighborhood boys, smoked pot with her older sister, snuck out and went to parties with her older sister (high school parties while we were in 7th grade), watched the excorcist (that was the most traumatic thing of all, still hate it)
I'm not trying to scare anyone, but really, you have no idea about other parents, even if you know them. Her parents meant well but they had NO CLUE what we were up to.
And the guns thing scares me since I have 2 very curious boys.

THIS. This is what we did at 6,7,8th grade sleep overs at Cathedral in the late 80's Except watched different horrific movies. And we drank the parent's vodka. In 8th grade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't feel comfortable, decline the invitation. Don't create a whole issue around you picking your DD up early and interrupting the party. The party is a sleepover - take it or leave it. Nothing wrong with leaving it. Decline the invitation and stop the drama.

I say just ask the host when the activities end (pizza at 8, movie over at 9:30, whatever) and pick up at a reasonable time. You won't be "interrupting" anything.

Oh yes, a hostess always loves to break down the evenings activities so that her guests can pick and choose what they would/would not like to participate in. How would you feel if the next time you host a dinner party, your guests call and ask what you are serving for a main course, dessert, etc. and tell you how early they'd like to leave your party based upon your answers.

By doing this, you are teaching your daughter very bad manners. A guest either accepts or rejects an invitation. To do otherwise is rude.

Hostess? Comparing a sleepover to a dinner party? What are you trying out for the next cycle of Real Housewives? Just find out when the girls plan to get into PJs and pick your kid up then. It's not a big deal. Happens all the time.

OP, I would go to the party but no sleep over because of a busy Sunday/plans to be up early/church whatever.

I have often picked DS up early from a sleepover - not because we "don't do sleepovers" but because he has soccer games on Sundays and needs to be decently rested. Just ask the host what would be a convenient time for a pickup - no big deal. It doesn't have to be as specific as "at what time will the movie end?".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don't feel comfortable, decline the invitation. Don't create a whole issue around you picking your DD up early and interrupting the party. The party is a sleepover - take it or leave it. Nothing wrong with leaving it. Decline the invitation and stop the drama.

I say just ask the host when the activities end (pizza at 8, movie over at 9:30, whatever) and pick up at a reasonable time. You won't be "interrupting" anything.

Oh yes, a hostess always loves to break down the evenings activities so that her guests can pick and choose what they would/would not like to participate in. How would you feel if the next time you host a dinner party, your guests call and ask what you are serving for a main course, dessert, etc. and tell you how early they'd like to leave your party based upon your answers.

By doing this, you are teaching your daughter very bad manners. A guest either accepts or rejects an invitation. To do otherwise is rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always put a caveat on invitations that anyone is welcome to leave early if they are more comfortable sleeping at home. Sort of offers anyone an out as I know different families operate differently.

We do the same but rarely have had anyone take us up on it. It's no big deal if a child's parents want her (I have DDs) to leave early. Every family is different. Usually, the girl who has to leave is a little bummed but we try to make it positive.

This. Drama-free.

Anonymous wrote:
Keep telling yourself that. The first chance your little precious gets to be without mommy breathing down her neck, she's going to go wild.

Please raise a child and send him/her off to college. Then report back.

Anonymous wrote:I always put a caveat on invitations that anyone is welcome to leave early if they are more comfortable sleeping at home. Sort of offers anyone an out as I know different families operate differently.

We do the same but rarely have had anyone take us up on it. It's no big deal if a child's parents want her (I have DDs) to leave early. Every family is different. Usually, the girl who has to leave is a little bummed but we try to make it positive.