Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15:40 and 16:30, so you're saying it's ok to stop scheduling playdates if my DD doesn't like your -- or any other -- SN kid?

Yes.

If your kid doesn't like special needs kids, keep her away from my kid. I don't need the stress. It makes me a little sad, but if she's that uncomfortable you should stay away.

If your kid never adapts to hanging with people with special needs, he/she will grow up to be entitled and intolerant, but that's really not my problem. It's not my job or my kids' job to teach your kid how to deal with other people or to have compassion and understanding.

NP here. I'm not sure I follow your reasoning. As a parent, I might know a child has SN. That doesn't mean my child knows it. He/she may simply not like the other child, or stop liking them for whatever reason. At the preschool/early elementary age, friendships (as noted by a PP) can be very fluid. Today's BFF from a mutual love of Star Wars may collapse and be replaced by tomorrow's BFF over soccer, as it were. So should I, as the parent, continue to schedule playdates for a child the no longer like? Only if they have SN? Or all children? And it sounds to me like you're saying they're going to grow up to be entitle and intolerant otherwise....from something they may not even recognize?

Sounds a little flawed. Not everything is that obvious to the kids at this point, likely just to us.

Do what you want. You and your kid sound shallow and superficial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15:40 and 16:30, so you're saying it's ok to stop scheduling playdates if my DD doesn't like your -- or any other -- SN kid?

Yes.

If your kid doesn't like special needs kids, keep her away from my kid. I don't need the stress. It makes me a little sad, but if she's that uncomfortable you should stay away.

If your kid never adapts to hanging with people with special needs, he/she will grow up to be entitled and intolerant, but that's really not my problem. It's not my job or my kids' job to teach your kid how to deal with other people or to have compassion and understanding.

NP here. I'm not sure I follow your reasoning. As a parent, I might know a child has SN. That doesn't mean my child knows it. He/she may simply not like the other child, or stop liking them for whatever reason. At the preschool/early elementary age, friendships (as noted by a PP) can be very fluid. Today's BFF from a mutual love of Star Wars may collapse and be replaced by tomorrow's BFF over soccer, as it were. So should I, as the parent, continue to schedule playdates for a child the no longer like? Only if they have SN? Or all children? And it sounds to me like you're saying they're going to grow up to be entitle and intolerant otherwise....from something they may not even recognize?

Sounds a little flawed. Not everything is that obvious to the kids at this point, likely just to us.

I'm a mom w/ a special needs child and we have a very difficult time making/keeping friends. It's getting a little easier now that he's had a few years of meds & therapy but, those aren't miracle cures - we still have issues. I'm wrestling w/ my own feelings atm because, although I am very empathetic, I'm having a hard time dealing w/ my son's new friend who also has issues & hurts my son in anger. I'm friends w/ his mom, don't want my son to get emotionally or physically hurt, don't want to offend anyone, don't want the other little boy's feelings to get hurt, don't want my son to regress, trying to be supportive, & understanding - all at the same time! It's a very stressful juggling act we play & i don't claim to be the perfect clown. I watch them like hawks & if behavior starts to slide & nothing's done about it, my son & I simply leave. I want my son to have friends & be caring & compassionate but, I won't allow him to be a punching bag either. Right or wrong, this is where I/we are right now.. just trying to figure it out.. as always lol

Anonymous wrote:15:40 and 16:30, so you're saying it's ok to stop scheduling playdates if my DD doesn't like your -- or any other -- SN kid?

Yes.

If your kid doesn't like special needs kids, keep her away from my kid. I don't need the stress. It makes me a little sad, but if she's that uncomfortable you should stay away.

If your kid never adapts to hanging with people with special needs, he/she will grow up to be entitled and intolerant, but that's really not my problem. It's not my job or my kids' job to teach your kid how to deal with other people or to have compassion and understanding.

Anonymous wrote:15:40 and 16:30, so you're saying it's ok to stop scheduling playdates if my DD doesn't like your -- or any other -- SN kid?

Is this a real question? I think there's a troll on here.

Why would I want your DD to be forced to play with any child if she doesn't want to?

15:40 and 16:30, so you're saying it's ok to stop scheduling playdates if my DD doesn't like your -- or any other -- SN kid?

It really helps to have friends who "get it." For those with SN kids looking for supportive friends, playdates with others who understand, have you tried a SN parents group? We have a lot in the DC area; look at the Our Kids dot com website under Resources -- Parents Groups -- Special Needs. Just a suggestion that has worked for some.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is fairly good friends with a boy that's probably the most problematic in her preschool/daycare (and liked the boy who was the problem child at her old preschool/daycare.) Whether those boys qualify as truly special needs or not I don't know.

But I'm not going to make her play with someone she doesn't really want to play with because "she should have multi-cultural friends" or "the kid is special needs" or whatever.

No one has said that you should.

Another poster who is very feeling guilty and defensive.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is fairly good friends with a boy that's probably the most problematic in her preschool/daycare (and liked the boy who was the problem child at her old preschool/daycare.) Whether those boys qualify as truly special needs or not I don't know.

But I'm not going to make her play with someone she doesn't really want to play with because "she should have multi-cultural friends" or "the kid is special needs" or whatever.

Thanks for the total non-sequitur. If I am ever wondering about forcing my special needs child to play with your child, I'll look up your post.

My DD is fairly good friends with a boy that's probably the most problematic in her preschool/daycare (and liked the boy who was the problem child at her old preschool/daycare.) Whether those boys qualify as truly special needs or not I don't know.

But I'm not going to make her play with someone she doesn't really want to play with because "she should have multi-cultural friends" or "the kid is special needs" or whatever.

Thank you, PP!!

Anonymous wrote:Weirdest. thread. ever.

I don't see any of the special needs moms saying that their children should be allowed to run amok and beat up other people's children. I just see them saying how hard it is to lose friends because their children are difficult to manage on play dates. It makes them sad. It is sad. It's common to feel isolated when dealing with kids with special needs. I totally get why people avoid my family, but at the same time, it doesn't make it easy to deal with. OP just needed a little tea and sympathy.

Then I see a whole bunch of other people being extremely defensive about why they avoid special needs parents. Why the hell would you feel the need to even comment on how offended you are by special needs parents who feel isolated? Crazy.

E.X.A.C.T.L.Y.

Weirdest. thread. ever.

I don't see any of the special needs moms saying that their children should be allowed to run amok and beat up other people's children. I just see them saying how hard it is to lose friends because their children are difficult to manage on play dates. It makes them sad. It is sad. It's common to feel isolated when dealing with kids with special needs. I totally get why people avoid my family, but at the same time, it doesn't make it easy to deal with. OP just needed a little tea and sympathy.

Then I see a whole bunch of other people being extremely defensive about why they avoid special needs parents. Why the hell would you feel the need to even comment on how offended you are by special needs parents who feel isolated? Crazy.

ah, I think there are two viewpoints here. I have mentally retarded family members and autistic family members, all of whom I am incredibly close with, but I do have to put in place reasonable protection for my own kids when they are around. Doesn't mean I don't love the disabled family members, but I have to parent the small and unprotected the most.

19:03 Thank you.