Anonymous
10/08/2011 09:19
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As someone who is upper middle class and considers herself as lucky, I hold myself to a high level of generosity and sensitivity especially when I comes to hired help, such as nannies, house keepers, and ANY labor than I inter act with. I have NO IDEA if these women have to do a second shift at another job. Maybe they don't have time to go home and shower? Maybe they live in cramped conditions and it is a hassle to get bathroom time. The point it, it causes me NO inconvenience and if this helps make their lives a bit more convenient, then I'm happy they are using my shower.
It just surprises me how the privileged are not more sensitive, grateful, and generous. At a very very bare minimum, I would be horrified to admit I filmed them naked and invaded their space as such. There is no way I would bring this issue up and have them suffer that humiliation and degradation of knowing they were filmed nude. I would destroy the video and never set it up again in that room without them knowing since they might be in a state of undress.
The fact OP set it up in the bedroom to test it is very strange.
I agree with this. My first thought was that many of these women live in very crowded conditions (I know my person lives with many family members ) and getting a private, clean shower must be difficult. However, I also agree it is a bit strange but because my first thought was the above I would let it go. Plus, as was stAted, I would just be too embarrassed to admit the taping -- both for them and myself. Now if it was stealing or kicking your dog, I would bring it up. I do sense you are creeped out but also sound like you have empathy so I am sure you will handle it with grace however you decide.
The housekeepers space was not invaded, they were working in the homeowners space. The homeowners would have had no reason to believe if they set up the camera in their bedroom they would catch their housekeepers naked and using their shower!
Anonymous
10/08/2011 08:49
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:As someone who is upper middle class and considers herself as lucky, I hold myself to a high level of generosity and sensitivity especially when I comes to hired help, such as nannies, house keepers, and ANY labor than I inter act with. I have NO IDEA if these women have to do a second shift at another job. Maybe they don't have time to go home and shower? Maybe they live in cramped conditions and it is a hassle to get bathroom time. The point it, it causes me NO inconvenience and if this helps make their lives a bit more convenient, then I'm happy they are using my shower.
It just surprises me how the privileged are not more sensitive, grateful, and generous. At a very very bare minimum, I would be horrified to admit I filmed them naked and invaded their space as such. There is no way I would bring this issue up and have them suffer that humiliation and degradation of knowing they were filmed nude. I would destroy the video and never set it up again in that room without them knowing since they might be in a state of undress.
The fact OP set it up in the bedroom to test it is very strange.
I agree with this. My first thought was that many of these women live in very crowded conditions (I know my person lives with many family members ) and getting a private, clean shower must be difficult. However, I also agree it is a bit strange but because my first thought was the above I would let it go. Plus, as was stAted, I would just be too embarrassed to admit the taping -- both for them and myself. Now if it was stealing or kicking your dog, I would bring it up. I do sense you are creeped out but also sound like you have empathy so I am sure you will handle it with grace however you decide.
Anonymous
10/08/2011 08:43
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
I was aghast when I read your post OP. It is at least inappropriate. Your home is not a hotel.
They are there to clean, not help themselves to the facilities. It's not a question of begrudging them anything. It's just kind of gross and inappropriate and prewsumptous. You don't take a shower in someone's home without permission.
They are there to clean, not help themselves to the facilities. It's not a question of begrudging them anything. It's just kind of gross and inappropriate and prewsumptous. You don't take a shower in someone's home without permission.
Anonymous
10/08/2011 08:33
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
OP- This would bother me. To me, it would somewhat feel like an invasion of my privacy if someone stripped down and showered in my bathroom and used my towels. I don't think it would bother me as much if they did it in another bathroom, but it would still bother me. It's YOUR house. Your cleaning people are invited into your house and paid to do a job. They are no invited in your house and paid to act like guests or like they own the place. It's unprofessional and inappropriate.
I don't think expecting people you pay to do a job not to take liberties in your personal space makes one insensitive, ungrateful or ungenerous.
I don't think expecting people you pay to do a job not to take liberties in your personal space makes one insensitive, ungrateful or ungenerous.
Anonymous
10/08/2011 06:25
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
As someone who is upper middle class and considers herself as lucky, I hold myself to a high level of generosity and sensitivity especially when I comes to hired help, such as nannies, house keepers, and ANY labor than I inter act with. I have NO IDEA if these women have to do a second shift at another job. Maybe they don't have time to go home and shower? Maybe they live in cramped conditions and it is a hassle to get bathroom time. The point it, it causes me NO inconvenience and if this helps make their lives a bit more convenient, then I'm happy they are using my shower.
It just surprises me how the privileged are not more sensitive, grateful, and generous. At a very very bare minimum, I would be horrified to admit I filmed them naked and invaded their space as such. There is no way I would bring this issue up and have them suffer that humiliation and degradation of knowing they were filmed nude. I would destroy the video and never set it up again in that room without them knowing since they might be in a state of undress.
The fact OP set it up in the bedroom to test it is very strange.
It just surprises me how the privileged are not more sensitive, grateful, and generous. At a very very bare minimum, I would be horrified to admit I filmed them naked and invaded their space as such. There is no way I would bring this issue up and have them suffer that humiliation and degradation of knowing they were filmed nude. I would destroy the video and never set it up again in that room without them knowing since they might be in a state of undress.
The fact OP set it up in the bedroom to test it is very strange.
Anonymous
10/08/2011 06:10
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
Is this the extent of you worries? A low wage worker using you shower after they clean up after you? I dunno, I fell grateful that I can afford such luxuries. This would not phase me, not would them helping themselves to sandwiches either. I too have cleaners for 6 years and I would feel like such a miserly bitch if I were to bring it up.
Anonymous
10/07/2011 23:21
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
I don't think it's illegal to tape in your home (think nanny cams) as long as the filming isn't done in a location where the person has a reasonable expectation of privacy (bathroom, bedroom) but I do think in many states it's illegal to record a voice w/o consent so I'd be more worried about that aspect.
Having said that I do think it is a little odd but I'd be glad they felt comfortable enough w/ me as a person to know that it's ok b/c I would never want to be the kind of person who denied someone a shower, lunch break, snack etc. I moved recently and noticed the movers opened some trail mix when I wasn't around...totally fine. I bought them lunch too, and as a nanny I am far from rich!
Having said that I do think it is a little odd but I'd be glad they felt comfortable enough w/ me as a person to know that it's ok b/c I would never want to be the kind of person who denied someone a shower, lunch break, snack etc. I moved recently and noticed the movers opened some trail mix when I wasn't around...totally fine. I bought them lunch too, and as a nanny I am far from rich!
Anonymous
10/07/2011 23:20
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
I think the deliberate taping was very weird and sketchy. Seems like you found out something you'd be better off not knowing. It would bother me to have strangers standing naked in a fairly personal private space like my master bathroom. I would probably be less uncomfortable if they used the guest bathroom, but I still would prefer that relative strangers not get naked in my house. Oddly, though, the fact they used my towel wouldn't bother me. It gets thoroughly laundered, right?
Anonymous
10/07/2011 23:10
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:OP. All very good feedback from a number of points of view here. Thanks. I guess it's not such a big deal and I will let it go. They do good work! It's not like they are stealing.
As far as the legality of video recording without their knowledge, I'll have to look into that. I would nto think it is illegal considering it's in MY house. The security system is made to monitor activity for security pruposes. How is this different from being recorded by security cameras throughout downtown DC or at any business? I didn't even think about it but I'll find out.
It's different if they're trespassers. But if they're on your property as invitees, I'm pretty sure you need to notify them if you're going to film their activities. I know for sure this is true in someplace like a bathroom, but I believe it is also true of anywhere in your home if the understanding is you are not going to be home. Your cleaning lady has an expectation of privacy even in your home, so she might change her clothes in your living room and then all of a sudden you've got tape of her naked without her knowing it. This is a serious invasion of privacy. If you're doing it to make sure she does a good job, telling her about it won't change the effect. If you're doing it to deter criminals, it's unfair not to tell your hired help. If I were your cleaning lady and I found out about this I would quit on the spot and consider legal action. I'm not kidding. Definitely check into this.
Anonymous
10/07/2011 22:38
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I thought the story was going to lead into a p*rno....was thinking to myself "hmm...did I stumble into the explicit forum by mistake?"
LOL, me too! I was ready to read that the second housekeeper got undressed and started a lezbo scene on your video but then.... they took a shower??!! I mean, it's kinda something you don't expect but not a reason to create any fuss. They probably don't wanna head home all sweaty and smelling of cleaning products, so just provide specific towels and ask them to use them next time.
Same here!!!! That is too funny!
Anonymous
10/07/2011 22:27
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:OP. All very good feedback from a number of points of view here. Thanks. I guess it's not such a big deal and I will let it go. They do good work! It's not like they are stealing.
As far as the legality of video recording without their knowledge, I'll have to look into that. I would nto think it is illegal considering it's in MY house. The security system is made to monitor activity for security pruposes. How is this different from being recorded by security cameras throughout downtown DC or at any business? I didn't even think about it but I'll find out.
Security cameras in public locations are visible and people are told (via signs or otherwise) that they are there. Secretly putting cameras in a home to spy on people is a totally different thing.
Anonymous
10/07/2011 22:23
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:OP. All very good feedback from a number of points of view here. Thanks. I guess it's not such a big deal and I will let it go. They do good work! It's not like they are stealing.
As far as the legality of video recording without their knowledge, I'll have to look into that. I would nto think it is illegal considering it's in MY house. The security system is made to monitor activity for security pruposes. How is this different from being recorded by security cameras throughout downtown DC or at any business? I didn't even think about it but I'll find out.
I think you can't put them in places where people expect privacy even in your own house. Didn't Chuck Berry get into trouble for putting a camera in the toilet in his house?
Anonymous
10/07/2011 22:14
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
OP. All very good feedback from a number of points of view here. Thanks. I guess it's not such a big deal and I will let it go. They do good work! It's not like they are stealing.
As far as the legality of video recording without their knowledge, I'll have to look into that. I would nto think it is illegal considering it's in MY house. The security system is made to monitor activity for security pruposes. How is this different from being recorded by security cameras throughout downtown DC or at any business? I didn't even think about it but I'll find out.
As far as the legality of video recording without their knowledge, I'll have to look into that. I would nto think it is illegal considering it's in MY house. The security system is made to monitor activity for security pruposes. How is this different from being recorded by security cameras throughout downtown DC or at any business? I didn't even think about it but I'll find out.
Anonymous
10/07/2011 21:46
Subject: Re:Weird Housekeeper Story
I agree that it's weird that they would do that at your house. Who does that? People don't even like to take a shower at the gym.
Anonymous
10/07/2011 21:44
Subject: Weird Housekeeper Story
Anonymous wrote:PP again. Plus, if they're using chemicals, all the spray particles get in your hair and on your clothes. Much easier to just hope in and rinse off.
That might be a good reason, but then why did the second cleaner jump in for a shower after her? I think it's bizarre and totally inappropriate. I'm another one who can't believe the tolerance of everyone on here (and further thinking the OP is at fault for filming). This society has completely flipped. I bet everyone who is so tolerant of the domestic help are the same folks so intolerant of their peers and friends who they think do something miss manners would frown on.