A friend of mine stayed home for 9 years. She found something in her previous field very quickly, but she came in at a much lower pay than other people who had been working while she was out of the market. (seems fair - she missed out on 9 years of raises/promotions.) Ended up getting a 40%+ raise within 6 months, so she's much closer to what she would have been making. She sometimes wishes she hadn't taken the time out, but I tell her that she could have been laid off or gotten really burned out trying to juggle work/mom stuff, or mommy-tracked herself for awhile, so there's no telling what income she really gave up and she should give herself a break.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the person decided to take a break to travel? Would the approach be the same?

Most people don't take several years off to travel.

How does this answer my question?

DH has a couple friend who just took a year off of work to travel the world and TTC in the process. We're so happy for them. (They didn't tell the TTC part to anybody but us, not even their parents) but she was kind of scared about the impact on their careers. The husband said SCREW IT, WE'VE WORKED HARD ENOUGH FOR TOO LONG TIME TO RELAX and I told her that she'll have a lot to think of if they indeed get pregnant in the process... They're on month 3 and just finishing Europe. Next step is a cruise in Greece and they're heading to Asia. Their FB pics are breathtaking!

Hopefully they will still have a LOT in savings before the baby arrives...

To answer other posters, no, someone taking 1+ years off to travel is huge red flag. It would possibly indicate that they are young and already burnt out or hate their current life and not as committed or responsible as other people. College students travel the world for years on end, not adults. And I say this having met many older adults traveling the world (I was working and traveling) - most seemed extremely lost. Different story for people who took job opportunities to see the world.

What kind of comment is this? LOL You should extremely jealous.

Not the PP, but this is a very practical comment. Babies are expensive, FYI; and if you're not working to earn money, then you have to wonder where the money to raise that child will come from.

Hey sweetheart, this folks are taking A YEAR BREAK TO TRAVEL THE WORLD... do you think they're stupid teenagers who can't do financial plan? They're not backpacking to Europe to run away from college... They're both successful professionals who believe their career is not more important than their relationship and family. I guess they have that small detail figured out already.

What a bunch of envious people! Geesh!

Not envious in the least. But how is one to infer that these people are fiscally responsible, especially when one parent was concerned about the impact upon their careers and the other basically said, F* it (which in my book, translates into, "I don't care about the consequences.")?

I get where you're coming from. The doctor suggested them to go out on vacation to relax when TTC because this lady has some anxiety she's a worrier by nature. Her husband - like my husband - is very relaxed but also very responsible. They own several homes, they have a very solid career and they can definitely come back whenever they want. They're not American so they have even more options. DH has been talking to him about starting their own business so that's what this guy is planing on doing when they come back. They have family money too that they got as gifts when they got married so I know they're covered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the person decided to take a break to travel? Would the approach be the same?

Most people don't take several years off to travel.

How does this answer my question?

DH has a couple friend who just took a year off of work to travel the world and TTC in the process. We're so happy for them. (They didn't tell the TTC part to anybody but us, not even their parents) but she was kind of scared about the impact on their careers. The husband said SCREW IT, WE'VE WORKED HARD ENOUGH FOR TOO LONG TIME TO RELAX and I told her that she'll have a lot to think of if they indeed get pregnant in the process... They're on month 3 and just finishing Europe. Next step is a cruise in Greece and they're heading to Asia. Their FB pics are breathtaking!

Hopefully they will still have a LOT in savings before the baby arrives...

To answer other posters, no, someone taking 1+ years off to travel is huge red flag. It would possibly indicate that they are young and already burnt out or hate their current life and not as committed or responsible as other people. College students travel the world for years on end, not adults. And I say this having met many older adults traveling the world (I was working and traveling) - most seemed extremely lost. Different story for people who took job opportunities to see the world.

What kind of comment is this? LOL You should extremely jealous.

Not the PP, but this is a very practical comment. Babies are expensive, FYI; and if you're not working to earn money, then you have to wonder where the money to raise that child will come from.

Hey sweetheart, this folks are taking A YEAR BREAK TO TRAVEL THE WORLD... do you think they're stupid teenagers who can't do financial plan? They're not backpacking to Europe to run away from college... They're both successful professionals who believe their career is not more important than their relationship and family. I guess they have that small detail figured out already.

What a bunch of envious people! Geesh!

Not envious in the least. But how is one to infer that these people are fiscally responsible, especially when one parent was concerned about the impact upon their careers and the other basically said, F* it (which in my book, translates into, "I don't care about the consequences.")?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom. Super Qualified in Child Care and Nutrition. HOWEVER, I decided to start my own business. I am a Mary Kay consultant and I work less than 10 hours a week. LOVE that I still get to stay home. LOVE that I have time for me. LOVE making women feel as beautiful as they truly are. Guess that comes from the nurturing side of being a mom. ALSO, all the people giving flack for being a SAHM. Just give CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE. No more rudeness. There is enough hate in this world to be passed around. How about some love.....

Just curious -- how much do you make with Mary Kay? My sister has started to sell it, with the dream of being able to eventually quit her full-time job and stay home with her daughter. I personally would be shocked if she ended up being able to make enough to do so, and would love to hear your success story.

not the PP you quoted but my mom put me and my brother through private school for 7 years with MK and college. Working only when we were at school. She was home for sick and no school days and all our school/sports events.

That's awesome! I'm no expert but I imagine the economy is different now. Are there still a lot of people buying MK? Maybe, I don't know. I had heard some of those types of businesses are suffering as people cut back. Not to mention, there are so many inexpensive, high quality drug store alternatives now. Just seems like a different market than when your mom was doing it. But like I said, I'm no expert. It just sounds risky.

I traveled the world for a year at 25 and got a great job right when I got back. The travel helped me win out over other candidates (it was in the international division of a large company). But I didn't expect anything but entry level at that age and given what I had been doing. Now many years later, I take a second, and positive look at job candidates who've traveled, no matter what age they did it. It all depends on the person. And as a mom, I would feel the same way about a SAHM. I am in a field that has people from a lot of backgrounds, so varied experience is a plus.

I know it's not the reality, but hiring managers should really have less prejudice against people who try to rejoin the workforce after making alternative choices. We're going to have to adjust soon anyway, as we become caretakers to the aging baby boomers. There's no way the workforce will get through that without some attitude readjustment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom. Super Qualified in Child Care and Nutrition. HOWEVER, I decided to start my own business. I am a Mary Kay consultant and I work less than 10 hours a week. LOVE that I still get to stay home. LOVE that I have time for me. LOVE making women feel as beautiful as they truly are. Guess that comes from the nurturing side of being a mom. ALSO, all the people giving flack for being a SAHM. Just give CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE. No more rudeness. There is enough hate in this world to be passed around. How about some love.....

Just curious -- how much do you make with Mary Kay? My sister has started to sell it, with the dream of being able to eventually quit her full-time job and stay home with her daughter. I personally would be shocked if she ended up being able to make enough to do so, and would love to hear your success story.

not the PP you quoted but my mom put me and my brother through private school for 7 years with MK and college. Working only when we were at school. She was home for sick and no school days and all our school/sports events.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the person decided to take a break to travel? Would the approach be the same?

Most people don't take several years off to travel.

How does this answer my question?

DH has a couple friend who just took a year off of work to travel the world and TTC in the process. We're so happy for them. (They didn't tell the TTC part to anybody but us, not even their parents) but she was kind of scared about the impact on their careers. The husband said SCREW IT, WE'VE WORKED HARD ENOUGH FOR TOO LONG TIME TO RELAX and I told her that she'll have a lot to think of if they indeed get pregnant in the process... They're on month 3 and just finishing Europe. Next step is a cruise in Greece and they're heading to Asia. Their FB pics are breathtaking!

Hopefully they will still have a LOT in savings before the baby arrives...

To answer other posters, no, someone taking 1+ years off to travel is huge red flag. It would possibly indicate that they are young and already burnt out or hate their current life and not as committed or responsible as other people. College students travel the world for years on end, not adults. And I say this having met many older adults traveling the world (I was working and traveling) - most seemed extremely lost. Different story for people who took job opportunities to see the world.

What kind of comment is this? LOL You should extremely jealous.

Not the PP, but this is a very practical comment. Babies are expensive, FYI; and if you're not working to earn money, then you have to wonder where the money to raise that child will come from.

Hey sweetheart, this folks are taking A YEAR BREAK TO TRAVEL THE WORLD... do you think they're stupid teenagers who can't do financial plan? They're not backpacking to Europe to run away from college... They're both successful professionals who believe their career is not more important than their relationship and family. I guess they have that small detail figured out already.

What a bunch of envious people! Geesh!

This whole thread makes me so grateful that I own my own business. Sincere wishes of luck to all of you trying to get back into your professions.

Anonymous wrote:"Who would hire a SAHM these days?"
"These days" opposed to what days?

I actually think "these days" is spot on. When I was growing up, no mom in my neighborhood worked. After staying home and raising kids for 15 years or so, many of them did go back to work including my mom. My mom and I were actually just talking about this. They went back as teachers, a few of them pursued master's or PhDs in fields like social work, occupational therapy, etc., and a few went back as office managers, admin work, etc. A couple started their own catering business, two went to work supporting their husbands' small businesses. Most did it because they wanted something different and for themselves like my own mom as they were facing an empty nest, a few did it out of financial necessity.

The difference is, "these days" in this area, there are more highly educated SAHMS who worked for years and built up a pretty solid career before stepping out of the workforce, and these options either aren't open to them or aren't appealing to them. My mom's generation of women in many ways had more options in terms of getting back to work, though I suppose fewer options in what could they could do. So the challenges are different. But, a lot of women today in this area may not be taking out as much time, so they have that to their advantage. I do think it's easier if you've taken off only a couple of years and have stayed tuned it to your network. I don't think it's all doom and gloom, though this economy is not helping probably. I am not in the same position but in many ways I mommy-tracked, cut back to PT for a few years, etc. and actually feel lucky I was able to return to FT work when I was ready.

Anonymous wrote:Having the same problem here. No advice, just wondering why they'd pass over a qualified person who stayed home with her child for a couple years. I didn't lose my experience and training and education!

You might not have lost your education and training. But you will be new to the working world in one significant aspect - you now have a kid. Many people change in terms of their ability to perform at work after having a kid, both moms and dads. I see it all the time with my colleagues. Anyone who is a parent or had a new parent work for them knows that no matter what you think you will be like when you return to work, you don't really know.

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom. Super Qualified in Child Care and Nutrition. HOWEVER, I decided to start my own business. I am a Mary Kay consultant and I work less than 10 hours a week. LOVE that I still get to stay home. LOVE that I have time for me. LOVE making women feel as beautiful as they truly are. Guess that comes from the nurturing side of being a mom. ALSO, all the people giving flack for being a SAHM. Just give CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE. No more rudeness. There is enough hate in this world to be passed around. How about some love.....

Just curious -- how much do you make with Mary Kay? My sister has started to sell it, with the dream of being able to eventually quit her full-time job and stay home with her daughter. I personally would be shocked if she ended up being able to make enough to do so, and would love to hear your success story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the person decided to take a break to travel? Would the approach be the same?

Most people don't take several years off to travel.

How does this answer my question?

DH has a couple friend who just took a year off of work to travel the world and TTC in the process. We're so happy for them. (They didn't tell the TTC part to anybody but us, not even their parents) but she was kind of scared about the impact on their careers. The husband said SCREW IT, WE'VE WORKED HARD ENOUGH FOR TOO LONG TIME TO RELAX and I told her that she'll have a lot to think of if they indeed get pregnant in the process... They're on month 3 and just finishing Europe. Next step is a cruise in Greece and they're heading to Asia. Their FB pics are breathtaking!

Hopefully they will still have a LOT in savings before the baby arrives...

To answer other posters, no, someone taking 1+ years off to travel is huge red flag. It would possibly indicate that they are young and already burnt out or hate their current life and not as committed or responsible as other people. College students travel the world for years on end, not adults. And I say this having met many older adults traveling the world (I was working and traveling) - most seemed extremely lost. Different story for people who took job opportunities to see the world.

What kind of comment is this? LOL You should extremely jealous.

Not the PP, but this is a very practical comment. Babies are expensive, FYI; and if you're not working to earn money, then you have to wonder where the money to raise that child will come from.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the person decided to take a break to travel? Would the approach be the same?

Most people don't take several years off to travel.

How does this answer my question?

DH has a couple friend who just took a year off of work to travel the world and TTC in the process. We're so happy for them. (They didn't tell the TTC part to anybody but us, not even their parents) but she was kind of scared about the impact on their careers. The husband said SCREW IT, WE'VE WORKED HARD ENOUGH FOR TOO LONG TIME TO RELAX and I told her that she'll have a lot to think of if they indeed get pregnant in the process... They're on month 3 and just finishing Europe. Next step is a cruise in Greece and they're heading to Asia. Their FB pics are breathtaking!

Hopefully they will still have a LOT in savings before the baby arrives...

To answer other posters, no, someone taking 1+ years off to travel is huge red flag. It would possibly indicate that they are young and already burnt out or hate their current life and not as committed or responsible as other people. College students travel the world for years on end, not adults. And I say this having met many older adults traveling the world (I was working and traveling) - most seemed extremely lost. Different story for people who took job opportunities to see the world.

What kind of comment is this? LOL You should extremely jealous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the person decided to take a break to travel? Would the approach be the same?

Most people don't take several years off to travel.

How does this answer my question?

DH has a couple friend who just took a year off of work to travel the world and TTC in the process. We're so happy for them. (They didn't tell the TTC part to anybody but us, not even their parents) but she was kind of scared about the impact on their careers. The husband said SCREW IT, WE'VE WORKED HARD ENOUGH FOR TOO LONG TIME TO RELAX and I told her that she'll have a lot to think of if they indeed get pregnant in the process... They're on month 3 and just finishing Europe. Next step is a cruise in Greece and they're heading to Asia. Their FB pics are breathtaking!

This answers your question because there is a difference between taking 6 weeks off for travel (which would be considered extravagant in the US) and taking 6 years off to raise children. You don't lose a lot of work skills in 6 weeks, but you are considerably behind with a 6 year hiatus.

As for your friends, they sound irresponsibly fancy free (or independently wealthy). Most people would not hire someone who took a year off just to travel unless it were part of a pre-agreed sabbatical (which would require several years of good work performance before the sabbatical would be granted as well as a commitment to return afterwards--also most companies and unis that grant sabbaticals expect some type of work-related product to come out of the travel). Also, I don't get the little comments about not telling anyone but you and about the FB posts--how old are you?

Aren't these posts getting off track? As soon as SAHMs is discussed it is always the why being defended. The question is "Who would hire a SAHM these days?" Is this literally "who" would hire a SAHM, i.e. my neighbor owns a company and hired a SAHM; or is this a defamatory statement?

I am wondering about the tone of the question.