Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm....

I am a fifty-something who never had kids. Friends and sibs did so I've followed a lot of people through the leaving home cycle.

It's been my observation that there are PLENTY of empty-nesters who - while missing their kids - are happy to have their privacy back, get to know their partners again, and get started with the things-I've-always-wanted-to-do list.

Life is long. Relish the present.

Thank you for your observation. It's nice to hear it from an unbiased party .

NP here, also an unbiased party The friends who have the best relationship with their children are the ones who, when the last kid left a few years ago, .... sold the big house, downsized to a condo, and spend all their free time galavanting about the world. (okay, mostly around DC, but right now they are on a European vacation). Their kids are also doing the best as young adults. The family gets together regularly, and it amazes me how much they like each other.

The friends who never wanted their kids to leave? Well, those kids are now the young adults who still live at home, and are not thriving, and now the parents are so frustrated and angry. Mad at the kids, when really, they were the ones who held the strings too tightly. (I keep my mouth shut).

So, just from anecdotal observation, I would ere on the side of being happy they are independent. I think it means you did a good job as a parent, and ends up being better in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:When my first went off to college I was very sad - seeing my only boy leave home. But I got over it once I realized what a great opportunity was on the horizon for him. Within a few years my girls left and while I was sad I knew that it was their time. Once we became empty nesters it has been our time and we have had a blast. My kids are all successful, married, parents and we are loving life. I only wish I didn't have some of the aches and pains of being in my 60's but it beats the alternative.

This is me. When eldest DC went away I missed her tremendously, but I knew that's what she needed to do. I have a friend who was sad her own DD didn't call her every night, and I thought that was unreasonable. DC #2 just started and he really needed to get out on his own, and I appreciate that (although he says he's homesick, I know he'll settle in soon).

For the past year I've started taking classes in several things I've always wanted to try, such as art, bookbinding, and writing. I'm so excited to rediscover my own interests again!