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Anonymous wrote:Coincidentally, we just got a letter to parents from the head of mental health at my child's university. Key in the message is 2 points:
- you are still the most important adult in your child's life, and it is important to stay connected
- it is important to ask about his/her life - how are they sleeping, how are they eating, what are they doing other than academics?

This really is true. It's hard for me to find "excuses" to text DS, but that small talk is the best way for me to keep open our lines of communication. He calls when he really need input on something (the bus schedule home or suggestion for electives to take when all the sections he wants are full) and I call him when it seems like it's been too long since we've spoken.

When I was in college (my kids are toddlers, so this was only about 15 years ago), I would email my mother every day, and we probably spoke on the phone about once a week (because there were really only landline phones then). I am female, though. When my brother went to college, my mom commented that there was a huge difference in how much he communicated vs how much I did. She said he only contacted them when he needed money put in his checking account. I think it's different based on each child's personality.