I have a twelve year old and a 14 month old. The twelve year old is in Oyster and the little one bounces between DH and I since we are both self employed artists so no child care costs. We have a garden in our very modest backyard and we live off of it and the farmers market and make things from scratch since we are home for work most of the time. We love it here. We saved like crazy having rented for 5 years in Woodley Park and then bought a house in LeDroit Park which we have renovated steadily since we got here 3 years ago. We are active in the community and enjoying seeing it transition and I guess just liberal enough that I dont give a crap about heli moms and havent taken the time to notice the Joneses. For us, DC is perfect. We get more work here so our incomes are higher ( lived in the burbs 5 years too) and the only part of the weather that is currently getting to me is today which is the worst day of the year so far I think. My 14 mo old is climbing the walls

and we have two big dogs who wont like their walk later...
I think for some people/families to be happy in DC you have to have work very nearby and pare life down quite a bit. It also helps to be able to make your own happiness for free - as artists, we are lucky that way. I was also telling DH the other day that if we werent both of us great cooks we would be in financial trouble for sure. We spend very little on groceries because of the way we cook and eat. We stockpile every other household thing when we see savings as well.
I do empathize - I cant imagine the commute you have plus that amount of hours at work and then childcare on top so you dont see your kid as much as you would like. I would fry under that kind of pressure. Not every person is under that kind of pressure though in dc raising kids.