Anonymous
05/15/2011 19:12
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, can you explain the differences? I'm not sure I understand what's going on, or that it's due to socioeconomic class (as opposed to him just getting on your nerves.)
I used to date a guy who loved to wear those baggy wrestler's pants, stapled the hem of his suits, and re-gifted everything from Coca-Cola coasters he found in a 12-pack to cheap airport souvenirs. He thought liningl the dining room with shot glasses was "classy," but I'm stil trying to decide if he suffered from class or simply bad taste. lol!
Huh? Sorry, I can't help but wonder:WHY?
Was also wondering about that. What does it mean?
Anonymous
05/15/2011 18:25
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:OP, can you explain the differences? I'm not sure I understand what's going on, or that it's due to socioeconomic class (as opposed to him just getting on your nerves.)
I used to date a guy who loved to wear those baggy wrestler's pants, stapled the hem of his suits, and re-gifted everything from Coca-Cola coasters he found in a 12-pack to cheap airport souvenirs. He thought liningl the dining room with shot glasses was "classy," but I'm stil trying to decide if he suffered from class or simply bad taste. lol!
Huh? Sorry, I can't help but wonder:WHY?
Anonymous
05/15/2011 17:56
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
PP here. oops. been gone.
Anonymous
05/15/2011 17:56
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
:24 here. Here I am watching my so called friends and their so called marriages of women who will never be happy and men who can't stop trying. It should be the men who say f*ck off. If I was a man in this situation, having to hear about what Tom Dick and Harry supposedly do (BTW, they don't) I would have gone long ago.
I see other friends with better marriages and how the miserable ones hate them, yet do everything they can to try to keep up with them. The irony. I see how they look at each other with disdain, I hear third parties talking about it and I am embarrassed for them. Trust me OP if you feel this way, more people know about it than you realize. They see it as your motive for bad behavior. They wish you would stop or move very far away. It affects your kids and how they interact with others, yet you just don't want to see it. Stop. For the sake of your kids. Decide to be happy with the way things are, or decide to change things for yourself. But for the love of God, stop caring so much what you think everyone else thinks. They just want you to stop being so damn miserable. Not so much for yourself.
I see other friends with better marriages and how the miserable ones hate them, yet do everything they can to try to keep up with them. The irony. I see how they look at each other with disdain, I hear third parties talking about it and I am embarrassed for them. Trust me OP if you feel this way, more people know about it than you realize. They see it as your motive for bad behavior. They wish you would stop or move very far away. It affects your kids and how they interact with others, yet you just don't want to see it. Stop. For the sake of your kids. Decide to be happy with the way things are, or decide to change things for yourself. But for the love of God, stop caring so much what you think everyone else thinks. They just want you to stop being so damn miserable. Not so much for yourself.
Anonymous
05/15/2011 14:37
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
It seems to me that it can boil down to a level of education and intellectual curiousity. I wouldn't mind being being married to someone with a blue-collar job, but I would mind being married to someone who wasn't interested in history or politics or art.
The snobbery doesn't always run one way. As noted by some pps, many blue-collar types exhibit a type of "reverse snobbery." It would bother me if my significant other belittled things that I find interesting or otherwise care about, simply because he finds them to be "snobbish" or elitist.
The snobbery doesn't always run one way. As noted by some pps, many blue-collar types exhibit a type of "reverse snobbery." It would bother me if my significant other belittled things that I find interesting or otherwise care about, simply because he finds them to be "snobbish" or elitist.
Anonymous
05/15/2011 14:22
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:OP, can you explain the differences? I'm not sure I understand what's going on, or that it's due to socioeconomic class (as opposed to him just getting on your nerves.)
I used to date a guy who loved to wear those baggy wrestler's pants, stapled the hem of his suits, and re-gifted everything from Coca-Cola coasters he found in a 12-pack to cheap airport souvenirs. He thought liningl the dining room with shot glasses was "classy," but I'm stil trying to decide if he suffered from class or simply bad taste. lol!
One more thing, to perhaps put things into perspective... I also dated a guy who was a handy-man of some sort, drove a beat-up station wagon, smoked a lot of pot and never really had a job. Despite that outward appearance, he had a hefty trust fund. Compare him to a middle class guy who does the same thing. I would say they are about equal in terms of character, only one has more money than the other.
Anonymous
05/15/2011 14:18
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
OP, can you explain the differences? I'm not sure I understand what's going on, or that it's due to socioeconomic class (as opposed to him just getting on your nerves.)
I used to date a guy who loved to wear those baggy wrestler's pants, stapled the hem of his suits, and re-gifted everything from Coca-Cola coasters he found in a 12-pack to cheap airport souvenirs. He thought liningl the dining room with shot glasses was "classy," but I'm stil trying to decide if he suffered from class or simply bad taste. lol!
I used to date a guy who loved to wear those baggy wrestler's pants, stapled the hem of his suits, and re-gifted everything from Coca-Cola coasters he found in a 12-pack to cheap airport souvenirs. He thought liningl the dining room with shot glasses was "classy," but I'm stil trying to decide if he suffered from class or simply bad taste. lol!
Anonymous
05/15/2011 14:06
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
OP, I understand where you're coming from here. This isn't my personal experience but I have a dear friend who married someone from a lower socioeconomic class, and is in a "working class" profession. She is a doctor. Of course she knew when she married him what she was getting, and she adores him and he's one of the greatest, brightest, and most interesting guys I've ever met, but that doesn't mean there aren't issues around this.
I also think there's a big difference between the many pps who said they married someone who grew up less advantaged but has become very professionally successful, versus someone who is still in a lower class, professionally speaking.
Have you and DH considered therapy together? I think having these issues out in the open could help. It also sounds like you can't quite put your finger on exactly why this bothers you, but it does, and I think it may be important to better understand what's going on.
Best of luck to you--I hope it all works out.
I also think there's a big difference between the many pps who said they married someone who grew up less advantaged but has become very professionally successful, versus someone who is still in a lower class, professionally speaking.
Have you and DH considered therapy together? I think having these issues out in the open could help. It also sounds like you can't quite put your finger on exactly why this bothers you, but it does, and I think it may be important to better understand what's going on.
Best of luck to you--I hope it all works out.
Anonymous
05/15/2011 13:45
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I would agree with you, if the US could ever produce anything approaching the beauty, poetry, and spirituality of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQAKRw6mToA
Until that day, your arguments are simply not valid.
My God that was beautiful! Thanks for posting.
America Answers Back: http://youtu.be/CS9OO0S5w2k
Take that! 'merica!
Anonymous
05/15/2011 13:28
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:I am a European who married an American, so in terms of level of education, culture, and civilization there was a significant gap. It is hard sometimes, but I committed to my own personal "mission civilisatrice".
And I have actually even found myself learning things from the natives here. Their simplicity, their devotion to their work, and their child-like belief in their God, etc.
So a significant socio-economic gap can be a benefit and offer learning opportunities from an anthropological perspective. I suggest you focus on this, and try to enjoy spending time with the lower classes in their natural habitat.
I don't know if you were being serious but LOL!!!!
Anonymous
05/15/2011 12:50
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Yes, in some ways I did marry outside of my social class.
My father is an engineer, his parents were college educated.
My mother is the child of of an engineer, my grandmother had a degree in accounting. She was an only child and came from money and went to university when women did not even have the right to vote.
I found out my other grandmother was the grandchild of a school principal. There just are no not-college educated people in my family. My father must have been the black sheep of the entire clan. He ended up as an alchoholic. I did get to college even though I had to pay my own way etc and in some ways missed out on a lot. So my marriage to a man in whose family nobody has had education has worked out well. Somehow they manage, but I do not want that for my children. Now that I see the difference in how his family copes and how it is for my extended relatives
My father is an engineer, his parents were college educated.
My mother is the child of of an engineer, my grandmother had a degree in accounting. She was an only child and came from money and went to university when women did not even have the right to vote.
I found out my other grandmother was the grandchild of a school principal. There just are no not-college educated people in my family. My father must have been the black sheep of the entire clan. He ended up as an alchoholic. I did get to college even though I had to pay my own way etc and in some ways missed out on a lot. So my marriage to a man in whose family nobody has had education has worked out well. Somehow they manage, but I do not want that for my children. Now that I see the difference in how his family copes and how it is for my extended relatives
Anonymous
05/15/2011 01:15
Subject: Re:Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Op here. 00:24 strikes a nerve.
We have one child already and I'm hesitant to have another if the differences are significant, but I think that they're not - at least i hope not as bad as the PP is imagining, but that situation could happen...
We have one child already and I'm hesitant to have another if the differences are significant, but I think that they're not - at least i hope not as bad as the PP is imagining, but that situation could happen...
Anonymous
05/15/2011 00:35
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
PP here. Sorry - you are not your.
Anonymous
05/15/2011 00:24
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
OP, you sound like a lot of women in the area whose husband did not meet their expectations. After years of marriage, just see how you can do by yourself instead of making your husband miserable every day. Your comparing yourself to the next guy is doing so much for your own happiness, don't you agree? I for one am tired of being exposed to it. So is your husband. Give him a break for crying out loud. If you are so much better, have your mommy and daddy buy you the house you really want, pay for your kids to attend the private school of your choice, and buy you the car you really want to be seen driving to Giant in. Until then, give your DH a break. You are contaminating your kids and showing them how they too can be absolutely miserable like their mother. Sex is probably completely out of the question too.
Anonymous
05/14/2011 22:10
Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:
Eh, my guess is German, English or French.
Yes, or Italian, Spanish or Dutch.