Anonymous wrote:My super hot SIL married her very stuffy, bland, and dull DH for money and wasn't secretive about it. He was quite proud of being a good provider. Ugh.

20 years later, he dumped her for his young assistant soul mate.

SIL, who had been a SAHM for 19 years, was shocked when she had to get a job.

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Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

Us too. There are other ways to support a spouse besides financially.

Both men and women are conditioned this way but of course there are other ways to support a spouse. I make more than my DW (she is a teacher) but she expects and deserves emotional support and a sex life that helps us feel connected and close, and so do I.

It seems clear that not everyone is conditioned this way, as many wives (including some on this thread) outearn their husbands and are very comfortable with this.

The notion of "marrying up" is rapidly disappearing, as discussed in the NYTimes article.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy. In my next life I am definitely going to marry money.

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you this honestly - I married a man without thought to finances. He makes barely anything ($25K) and I'm the breadwinner. We were wildly in love and I thought we'd always make it work.

And I DO love him. But if I had it to do over again - a man's finances would play a much bigger role in my equation.

I'm sure that some ppl marry just for $$ just as some marry for looks, but I'm guessing this is a part of the equation. The more money you have, the bigger the part it plays.

Anonymous wrote:I had low self esteem. I didn't marry for ENOUGH money. I have less attractive friends that did much better than I did. Shame on me for not aiming high enough.

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Anonymous wrote:We were walking around the mall today and saw another couple that was (putting it politely) mismatched. She was mid-to-late 30s, well dressed and very attractive. She was no super model but definitely someone that most guys would find hot. He was mid-to-late 50s, also well dress but far from attractive. Bald, slightly overweight, etc. They had three children with them and while two of them took after the mother the youngest daughter had a bit of a Rumor Willis thing going on (Bruce Willis face on Demi Moore's head).

Based on the age difference, the fact that they were all very well dressed and the apparent age difference between the couple, I can only assume that she married him for his money. Sure, it's possible that they were really in love, but I seriously have my doubts.

From other posts on this topic, I think I have a decent understanding of the woman's perspective, but I've always wanted to know from the guy's perspective: What's it like to be married to a gold digger? Are you okay with it? Did you marry your wife for anything besides her looks? Did you have a pre-nup buttoned up and ready to go? Is this your second marriage and you just figured, "What the hell, if I have to be nagged all the time it might as well be by a hottie?"

Seriously, what's the deal?

I can say something real about this. I had a relationship with a married woman and we had a baby. At some point she left me only because her status with her husband and because she did not want to start everything with me. Now she is living with her husband, my baby and I can't do nothing about it. He knows everything and he accepted it.

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Anonymous wrote:One of the things women are wired for is having and protecting their children. A financially well-off, mentally stable older man may be just the ticket for some women. Just because he married her for looks and she married for money doesn't mean they can't be as dedicated to one another as some other kind of couple. Marriage is an emotional, sexual, physical, and financial arrangement between two people. You still have to make it work regardless of ages or how you fell in love.

ROFL my DH married me for MY money.

Anonymous wrote:One of the things women are wired for is having and protecting their children. A financially well-off, mentally stable older man may be just the ticket for some women. Just because he married her for looks and she married for money doesn't mean they can't be as dedicated to one another as some other kind of couple. Marriage is an emotional, sexual, physical, and financial arrangement between two people. You still have to make it work regardless of ages or how you fell in love.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

Us too. There are other ways to support a spouse besides financially.

Both men and women are conditioned this way but of course there are other ways to support a spouse. I make more than my DW (she is a teacher) but she expects and deserves emotional support and a sex life that helps us feel connected and close, and so do I.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men are conditioned from a pretty early age to expect that women will look to them as providers... So a blatant acknowledgement of that is ok so long as the woman is not mocking him in some way.

My DH must have missed that memo as I make 3x what he does.

It works for us.

Us too. There are other ways to support a spouse besides financially.