Anonymous wrote:private school teacher here - please don't fret over gift giving. Instead, help out more at the school, if possible. Donate that money specifically to an area that you particularly value at the school like, supplies for the teachers room (most have a wish list), sound system for auditorium, new athletic gear, books for library, new plantings for grounds, the list is endless. You can donate in the name of the teacher that you were going to give a gift to. Get together with friends and have it make more of an impact. Donate volunteers hours toward events. Just a thought.

What a truly lovely and classy response. I recall last year a bunch of teachers posting that money or credit card gift cards was all they wanted and it's so refreshing to read this and see that this teacher cares more about the school than getting a tip. What a great example you set for kids and adults!

I give $10 coffee card, an ornament + a card.

Anonymous wrote:Let's be real here. Money talks. Open your wallet and get out the biggest bill you can. Pretend you are giving out of the kindness of your heart, but wink wink the teacher better darn well think of that bill when grade time comes. Perhaps you should include a contract..I will pay you this amount in cash or gift card whichever you prefer and here is what I expect in return.. Oh and wink wink I won't tell if you violate your schools's policy, if you don't.

Oh and don't you dare bake cookies and write some sappy thank you note. We are no longer in the 20th century. This is the 21st century people. I don't care if you are still paying off college debt or you have spent your life savings on an ill child and you just lost your job..open up that wallet and show some love. Don't be cheap now. Don't make a card with your kid. Show them the money!

Ho Ho Ho! My darlings are now in college but I think the sucking up helped many parents and students. Gifts, use of homes, big bucks to parents clubs that give $ to staff. One school had a subjective curve. Nice family and student for a better grade, lifers, what discipline problem??? Do I ever love college.

Of the 15 students I work with throughout the day, this year I received gifts from only 5.... and these gifts were all valued under $2.00 - except two of them. Of the two that were left, they were valued at $15 and $30.

I think that it is really sad that you tally up the cost of gifts that your receive.

I would be glad to give $100 if my kids had only one teacher. But my 6th grader has 4 subject teachers, plus a music teacher she wants to give something to. My 3rd grader has two classroom teachers, and wants to give something to his music and drama teachers. There is also an administrator who did something kind for us this year that I want to thank with a small gift. That adds up!

I just wrote the above post... just wanted to add to this that no gift is a bribe to a "real" teacher. The love you have for your students could never be measured in dollars. Christmas gifts for teachers are from parents... and it shows thanks for appreciation for all the wonderful things you have done for their children for the 1200 hours you loved them that year. I do think it is wrong to give your teacher less than you would tip someone to bring you a sandwich. Good gift or no gift, the love for your child is the same.

I work at a small private school. Parents pay a lot to go there, but teachers pay is very low because of student/teacher ratio. (Ratio anywhere from 4:1 to 7:1). Maybe I'm just rude, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a $100 gift card per person. First of all, it's only $10 a month... I am a teacher who provides cell phone access, texting access, etc. I am 100% accessible to these families at all times. These families are going on vacations overseas, cruises on a regular basis - some even own properties in other countries. Of the 15 students I work with throughout the day, this year I received gifts from only 5.... and these gifts were all valued under $2.00 - except two of them. Of the two that were left, they were valued at $15 and $30. Maybe I'm ridiculous - but when my kids go to school, they give $100. I'm not rich - but I am kind.

Do people contribute to the class gift and give a small gift of their own too? Or just a card?

I plan on doing this. The small gift will be a book that the teacher wanted with a card made by my dd. The book was about 5 or 7 dollars from her book wish list. This way dd has something "special" to give her teacher.

Anonymous wrote:

I agree, it always feels creepy to give cash or cash equivalents-- like you're tipping.

Clearly, you are not from New York City, where paying off -- I mean giving a $$$$$$ gift -- is expected for everyone from doormen to teachers to plumbers to camp directors to therapist. No joke.

I'm formerly from NY and yes, it was sickening.

I'm just bumping this since the topic came up again as "winter gifts." Might be helpful to that poster.

Teacher here. I appreciate notes from the students the most. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved it when at my old school all the families got together and I would get an Am Ex gift card of $200-$300 and could buy my work wardrobe for the year, but the clothes go away and the memory of the nice notes or the little certificates, the handmade scarf that I still wear, those are the most meaningful to me. I'm sure some people won't think I'm really a teacher but, oh well!

It depends on your school. At one school, our class parents organized collecting $ and doing gifts for holidays, teachers week and end of year. Some of that gift included a $ card to the teachers but it also included other things (like a snapfish album of the kids in the class).

At our current school, parents all determine separately what to do. But during teacher's week, the parents work together and organize to bring lunch and flowers for the teachers for the full week. Every day is a different "food theme", parents sign up for a dish (people have the option to sign up to bring supplies, flowers, $$) and the last day is take-up brought to them.

At both schools, I was clueless the first year and had to "learn the ropes" of their traditions on these things. Try to ask a parent in your child's class that has an older student in the school for the norms.

Do people contribute to the class gift and give a small gift of their own too? Or just a card?

Here's a helpful article...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/06/14/AR2005061401827.html

Our parent handbook advises that gifts should be "modest," which I interpret as $20 or under.

(In contrast, in preschool we gave a week's tuition to the group gift.)