Re cotillion: the kids don't remember what they've supposedly learned and it teaches them that they are somehow more "special" than those whose families can't afford it. It is most definitely a learning experience, but the lessons learned have little to do with dancing or manners. They learn that they are part of the "master" class.

I agree with many posters that knowing how to dance is a useful (and fun!) life skill. However, why does it need to be learned in third grade? It seems like it would make a lot more sense to start kids in cotillion in sixth or seventh grade when they're more mature, can appreciate what they're learning, and are "wired" to actually more likely enjoy the experience for what it is. Foisting little boys and girls into a cotillion environment seems artificial, and is just one more way of many in which parents are forcing their children to abandon the joys and innocence of childhood earlier.

Seriously - nobody answered PP's question. What the [bleep] is a cotillion?

If it's so good for boys, why don't more do it? Sounds creepy that they have to recruit sweaty palmed boys - blech.

How do Cotillion parents justify spending $400 to meet "new" (as in marrying/breeding stock?) when they could send that to cyclone/famine relief?

If it's fun and kids like it, maybe someone could set up a charity version where kids dance AND raise money for less superficial causes? How about "Baby Loves Ballroom"?

At G'town U we had "service" fraternities that kind of combined the best of a frat (group parties ) with something you could actually put on your resume (helped homeless). It was a funny kind of "faux" exclusivity that helped make sure we didn't take ourselves too seriously.

I've outsourced etiquette to my MIL.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone fill me in on the Cotillion? I am ignorant to this, but strangely fascinated:

- Who organizes it?
- Who gets invited in? Is it kids who go to certain schools? Or is it certain kids at certain schools?
- Do the events continue throughout childhood, or does it stop after 1 yr?

Fill me in...

This is the above poster again. I am suspecting that there is a cloak of secrecy over this cotillion thing, as no one has responded to my questions... Hummm...

Anonymous wrote:Other than the first dance at my wedding, I have never danced the way dances at a cotillion is executed. Go to any school or college dance since about 1967 and with the exception of "Stairway to Heaven", no one dances close, or in any kind of step.

Feeling like a wallflower because you cannot dance a waltz is, well, outdated.

Not even during the slow songs at other people's weddings? Or at other formal black-tie events???

I think that most people would like to know how to dance with a partner so that they can have fun and participate at these events. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that doesn't have "slow songs."

I had to sign my DH up for dance lessons prior to our wedding. I wish he'd learned how as a young boy. There were a few years when we went to a lot of weddings and there were many opportunities to dance the old-fashioned way. I ended up dancing w/uncles, dads, etc. It's kind of fun and romantic watching people dance together at weddings. My DH is not a confident dancer (he needed more than the crash course he took to prepare for our single dance together) and I think if he'd learned at a younger age he could have been.

Other than the first dance at my wedding, I have never danced the way dances at a cotillion is executed. Go to any school or college dance since about 1967 and with the exception of "Stairway to Heaven", no one dances close, or in any kind of step.

Feeling like a wallflower because you cannot dance a waltz is, well, outdated.

I'd be interested in hearing from parents who went to cotillion when they were young whether they learned how to dance. I certainly did not. And it's true, you do meet other kids, but not the kids on scholarship. Is that a good distinction to underscore for them at this age?

PP, I am with you.

I am confident that my child has enough good sense to avoid the pitfalls Cotillion arguably presents, spelled out by many of the PPs above. If all my child takes away from this is the ability to dance, I'll be thrilled. If it also means spending time with friends, making new ones, accumulating some funny stories, and maybe even picking up an etiquette tip or two, well, talk about icing on the cake. I was the proverbial wallflower for most of my formative years precisely because I did not know how to dance. I'd like to spare my child this torment, and maybe even add some joy, through this type of education.

I am in my 40's and do not know how to dance (not in the traditional sense). My husband is the same. I can't even follow someone who does know how to lead. When we find ourselves unavoidably expected to dance (such as at our own wedding) we have to watch the other couples to see which hand goes where. When we attend a function with dinner and dancing, we leave right after dinner. It is embarrassing, but neither of us has the time or the energy to take dance classes right now.

My mom taught me etiquette as she knew it - the 1950's version - but I am still unsure at times about what is and is not proper.

There was something similar to the cotillion / Mrs. Simpson's in my hometown, and I was invited, but I was a scholarship student at the private school I attended and my family did not have the means to send me. Although my friends griped about going, I wanted nothing more than to join them.

Our kids will be going if they are invited. I wish I had had that grounding in etiquette and basic dancing skills and I am happy that we have the means to do this for them.

Are the cotillions much different than the dances we all went to when we were growing up?

Of course a parent is allowed to love it. It just sounds like this parent is primarily interested in achieving some sort of social status or image through the activities of his or her child.

Can someone fill me in on the Cotillion? I am ignorant to this, but strangely fascinated:

- Who organizes it?
- Who gets invited in? Is it kids who go to certain schools? Or is it certain kids at certain schools?
- Do the events continue throughout childhood, or does it stop after 1 yr?

Fill me in...

Don't read so much into the language PP. A parent is allowed to love things.

It's interesting that "you" love it.... Isn't it supposed to be for the kids?