I plan to have the same gap. DD #1 is 3.5 going to be four at the end of July. I'm 32, and plan on having IVF in July for #2. If we are successful they will be close to 4.5 yrs apart. I have enjoyed number one through and through, and I've been tired through and through. I know I never imagined a large age gap but it's the way it is. So many of my friends have the same gap (4-5 years between #1 and 2) so for my circle of friends it's the normal (have one in Kindergarten then have the second). Anyway, I see nothing wrong with this. I grew up with my siblings each one year apart and we fought like dogs until we graduated from college. Now we're BF's but sibling rivalry was HUGE. I hope the spacing gives them enough attention that my children won't have that in their 'younger' years. OP it's going to be fine! I think I'm also so used to being tired, that number two running me down won't be as a big shock to my system!

I am pregnant right now, and my DD will be 4 when the baby is born. We planned to have #2 sooner but I had two miscarriages.

Now, I am seeing the benefits of a larger gap. DD is so sweet and excited about having a little sister and helping take care of her. She is asking all kinds of interesting questions about the baby. If she was 2, she wouldn't really be processing it. I also am glad I won't have two toddlers at roughly the same stage to chase around--going anywhere in public and traveling will be easier with one who's older, I think. And you get to avoid having 2 in diapers at the same time!

also, FWIW, my brother and I are 4.5 years apart and have a great relationship!

Anonymous wrote:Mine are six years apart. My oldest loves the baby and watching them together has made me so proud of my oldest. She is so patient and kind with the baby. I love her even more now just from seeing the special way she interacts with her much younger sibling. And I am able to give the baby extra attention than I would if they were close in age since my daughter has school and her activities.

Mine are 6.5 years apart and this is exactly how I feel. No one can make the baby smile like her big sister. It's so special.

A friend of mine knew she was going to have to be on bedrest for her entire second pregnancy so she waited until DC1 was 5 and in school all day to have the baby. It has worked out great although there has been a bit of sibling rivalry. DC1 was an only for so long that he was a bit taken aback by the now divided / shared attention. It has been fine though - they can talk and reason with him but he has acted out a bit.

Mine are six years apart. My oldest loves the baby and watching them together has made me so proud of my oldest. She is so patient and kind with the baby. I love her even more now just from seeing the special way she interacts with her much younger sibling. And I am able to give the baby extra attention than I would if they were close in age since my daughter has school and her activities.

Anonymous wrote:My brother is 5 years younger than me. I think it was good for my mom because she got to fully experience both children as babies and at each stage of childhood. She always said that when I was a horrible teenager and hated her, she could always turn to my brother who still thought she was the best thing in the world. And by the time he was a terrible teen, I was in college and we were closer again and she could see that there was light at the end of the teen years. My brother and I were actually really close most of the time growing up. I still played with him a lot and enjoyed each others company. But we're also very different people and I think it was good for him to not be in school too closely after me. We're still really close now.

This was my exact expereince with my younger brother. We are 5 years and 1 day apart, and while we battled a bit with one another, we are dear friends now and I am so happy to have him.

My boys are 5 years apart--in fact, their b-days are Thursday and Friday.

They are very, very close. No sibling rivalry, beyond a little bickering from time to time. Younger one adores the big one--if he gets hurt, it's not me he's looking for. Big brother always watches out for younger one, dotes on him...in fact, he asked for a baby brother for his birthday at age 5....and got one!

There are a lot of advantages to having an age spread between your kids, it's nothing to worry about at all.

This old post made me feel so happy. We just crunched the numbers and realized that we can't make 2 in daycare work. So we're waiting a year to have another. Not even sure if we can do it in a year, but mostly right now I just needed to hear how 4 year apart is going to be great and not focus on the fact that I can't afford to have the child I want.

My brother and I were 5 years apart and were best friends growing up. We're still close to this day.

I'm in the same position and I totally feel your pain! I think it'll be good in many ways. I'm envisioning a time when I don't need to carry my five year old son everyplace, where he can get himself dressed, where he's potty-trained, where I'll finally let him watch some TV (ha ha...), where he'll be in KINDERGARTEN! I have a friend who has kids 15 mos apart- she really had two babies at the same time, and it was a ridiculous amount of work for her. Granted, she got all of the rough stuff out of the way quickly, but it was really rough!

I'm 5 years older than my brother, and we are super close and have a wonderful, happy family! Don't worry, OP, it will work out great. My own kids are 3.5 years apart specifically because I didn't want to deal with a new one until I'd recovered from the "old" one. I have dear friends whose girls are nearly 6 years apart, and they're adorable together.