Anonymous wrote:I save my meanness for online. I’m a peach in person.

Same haha. I am often told, unprompted, in regular life how nice I am. On here I don't sugar coat things and say what I actually thing, but in real life I'm too polite.

Anonymous wrote:I think your premise is mean. While I am married, the majority of my single friends are single because they want to be: they value freedom, spontaneity, and not being tied down. That doesn’t make them low-value people who don’t have lots of people who love them.

Who has time to ruminate on DCUM meanies, and tying meanness to being single?

When I see someone be mean on DCUM, I assume they either are having a bad day, or there’s some background resentment they have on an issue that they’re “venting” on DCUM. Like, if you get worked up over someone else’s ILs or parents or kid’s teacher, you probably have unresolved issues with those folks in your own life.

This is helpful, thanks. I agree also with a pp who says she visits like a sociologist and try to show up like that, but I admit that I often get the nastiest responses when I'm trying my best to be helpful. So, that can throw me. It's good to have reminder that like driving a car, I don't make up stories about the world and ruminate, so I shouldn't about reading here. If I get mad/frustrated, it's about me, and I can change that.

Mean is subjective, aside from the outright bots and trolls. You may think I am mean, but I maybe responding to what I view as rude, mean or even cruel behavior from you.

The bots and trolls suck.

This is a place for timid wives to direct displaced aggression anonymously because they can’t muster the strength to do it at home in the real world.

Deeznutz

I’m definitely sharper here than in real life. In real life, I would add caveats and softer language. Here, I skip all that and just type out the bottom line. But more than that, there are tons of poor thinking and weird justifications that I don’t see openly discussed in real life.

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering who in real life has time and patience to be with or even live with the persons who keep posting mean and sarcastic comments on this forum day and night.
Do you have anyone?

Curious which posts you think are mean.

Some posts by the same people over and over again are tiring. I don't find responses to those posts to be mean when they're sick of listening to someone complain about their life but do nothing about it. And yes, I'd say that to someone's face in real life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering who in real life has time and patience to be with or even live with the persons who keep posting mean and sarcastic comments on this forum day and night.
Do you have anyone?

- jobless men who can’t find work
- disability long-timers
- for college forum, young men age 15-22 who are very invested in brand and who are naturally competitive

So, men, basically.

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering who in real life has time and patience to be with or even live with the persons who keep posting mean and sarcastic comments on this forum day and night.
Do you have anyone?

No one. That’s why they’re lonely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just wondering who in real life has time and patience to be with or even live with the persons who keep posting mean and sarcastic comments on this forum day and night.
Do you have anyone?

- jobless men who can’t find work
- disability long-timers
- for college forum, young men age 15-22 who are very invested in brand and who are naturally competitive

I know someone who trolls on here. She finds it funny to get reactions out of people . She's not like that IRL so it's very odd to me. I found out accidentally

Sounds like a juicy story!

It's really not that juicy. We were talking about a hypothetical situation and then a version of that situation ended up as a post on here but written in a way that made it more inflammatory. Jeff eventually outed it as a troll who has posted other troll posts (not the infamous ones). I asked her and that's how she told me when she's bored, she gets entertainment from posting these things and seeing how people react.

That's depressing.

I assume most posters are bots or trolls. I try to separate the wheat from the chaff, and I don't engage with anyone on here.