Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]The "childish" things she likes seems to me that she's still young at heart. My 40 something yr old sister still likes to go to places like Chuck E Cheese. She says she never got to do those things as a kid (we grew up poor) so she likes to still do things like that; she's also quite young at heart. I would leave that alone.[/b]

The bigger issue is taking care of herself - meals, getting ready.. these are things she'll need to figure out before college, assuming she will be going away to college. Sounds like she might live at home and go to college, and not necessarily for financial reasons.

I thought I was alone. My daughter is 18, and is very similar. I find it very embarrassing for her to play outside with 5 year olds. It’s not normal, and I don’t know she’ll survive adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. She’s the one who usually initiates play most days and gets sad when it rains and they can’t go out, even when she’s by herself. She likes to play on her own too, outside or inside. She’s always looking to play, and she helps with the family, so of course she babysits—that’s part of her role. She didn’t raise herself; she was an only child for four years, and I’ve given her a lot of attention, probably more than is age-appropriate for 16.

She actually plays with the younger kids—she doesn’t parent them. My concern is that she wants to stay a child and doesn’t even want to become a teen, so how could she be an adult? She knows how to cut her own food, but she doesn’t know how to plate it, so she asks me to do that. If I asked her to figure it out herself, she probably could. During summer, she doesn’t do anything besides play outside and watch shows.

She can go straight from child to adult. Teen is a contemporary invention. Shes fine.

Totally false. The reason failure to launch kids are such a big problem nowadays is due to this. Teen years are when kids learn to be adults, not act like they’re still 5. If they don’t learn the skills, they won’t be self sufficient adults.

Anonymous wrote:I think there’s been a lot of misunderstanding here. Our family dynamic isn’t relevant to this issue

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take her to go see a therapist. This isn’t typical teenage behavior. It’s abnormal and odd. My cousin had a daughter like this. She was 15 and still played outside regularly and would climb into her parents bed at night. My cousin didn’t seek help for her daughter, and thought it was just a phase/sweet, and now her daughter is in her late 20s, and lives at home, and does nothing all day but eat, sleep, watch tv, play with stuffed animals.

Do you know how many parents wished their teenaged kids played outside?

Anonymous wrote:Take her to go see a therapist. This isn’t typical teenage behavior. It’s abnormal and odd. My cousin had a daughter like this. She was 15 and still played outside regularly and would climb into her parents bed at night. My cousin didn’t seek help for her daughter, and thought it was just a phase/sweet, and now her daughter is in her late 20s, and lives at home, and does nothing all day but eat, sleep, watch tv, play with stuffed animals.

Anonymous wrote:I think there’s been a lot of misunderstanding here. Our family dynamic isn’t relevant to this issue, but it seems the focus has been on that. She refuses to learn to cook or take on other adult responsibilities, like holding a job or going anywhere independently. She hasn’t been “parentified” in any meaningful way, and I feel that term is being overused.

I’m not putting her on my level—she’s only responsible for herself, not her siblings. While I handle tasks like meal planning, she is capable of doing these things if needed. I’ve given her significant attention and support over the years. We spend a lot of time shopping, just me and her.

Regarding friendships, she doesn’t currently have close friends at school, but she has had friends/acquaintances she could interact with over time:
Kindergarten–1st grade: She had a best friend.
2nd grade: We switched schools and She mainly had acquaintances.
3rd–8th grade: She had a best friend with whom she did everything together. (The friend recently moved back to the area, and my daughter doesn’t want to hang out with her.)
High school: She doesn’t have close friends, only about three acquaintances.

She also had a neighborhood friend a year younger than her from around age 7 to 13. When that friend moved, they lost contact. Even after the friend returned to the area, she wasn’t interested in hanging out with teens.
Additionally, she had three friends through church:

One friend in 4th–5th grade at her first church.
Two friends after we moved to a different church in 5th–6th grade, but she lost contact with them afterward.

Over the years, she’s had around six friends in total and several acquaintances, including groups in middle school with her best friend and a few in upper elementary. The other kids in the group were friend with her 3rd-8th grade friend.

She does do activities in school.

Anonymous wrote:Op. She’s the one who usually initiates play most days and gets sad when it rains and they can’t go out, even when she’s by herself. She likes to play on her own too, outside or inside. She’s always looking to play, and she helps with the family, so of course she babysits—that’s part of her role. She didn’t raise herself; she was an only child for four years, and I’ve given her a lot of attention, probably more than is age-appropriate for 16.

She actually plays with the younger kids—she doesn’t parent them. My concern is that she wants to stay a child and doesn’t even want to become a teen, so how could she be an adult? She knows how to cut her own food, but she doesn’t know how to plate it, so she asks me to do that. If I asked her to figure it out herself, she probably could. During summer, she doesn’t do anything besides play outside and watch shows.