Anonymous wrote:I would keep them apart and if that means your older child is in his room or misses certain activities, that's the consequence.

He needs psychological help.

I 100% agree with this. Always let natural consequences do the heavy lifting. You hit your brother then you can’t be together. If that means you are stuck in your room while he watches a movie then that is your natural consequence.

Get soft handcuffs and make your 9 year old wear them when your younger kid is around. First, allow him to wear it with both his hands in front so he can still use his hands for grabbing things. If he continues to behave badly, handcuff his hands behind his back. He can have them off if he's in his room alone, or out in public and closely supervised.

This may sound extreme, but it will also be very effective and is a much better idea than contacting the police or moving your 9 year old to a relative's house.

Anonymous wrote:Do not involve the Police, good grief. You don't want your 9yo scared of Police Officers.
Throwing away toys is a bizarre punishment for this too.

Tell him if he hits the 2yo again he will need to research concussions and brain injuries in children and write you a report on it.

I love this!

AND THEN FOLLOW THROUGH! My father gave us 'homework' of writing reports when we went on summer vacation two summers in a row. Research something you see on vacation, speak with people about it (one year we spoke with potato farmers because we were in Maine during potato blossom festival). My sister and I produced a written report and then we gave an oral report as well!

Remove your 9yo from the room (with another parent preferably) to a no fun place for a while.

If it persists and you believe they understand (at 9 they would) see a professional because it would then be a psychological issue that they want to cause harm or don't actually understand.

How old is the second child?

Either way I agree that you probably need some parenting classes because the reality is that your nine year-old should not be hitting their sibling in general. The fact that this is apparently just how they habitually interact is very concerning.

I agree that they need to be physically separated, moving forward. If they share a room, that means that the younger one needs to be moved into your bedroom. I think that you should seek counseling for your older son, or possibly family therapy as a group, because again this level of violence at this age, especially when he is stating that this is intentional, is concerning.