Anonymous wrote:For a lot of people, travel is a big deal. Vacations are a once-a-year thing and big investment. I can understand wanting to protect the time you set aside to prepare, especially if you work full time. It’s reasonable to not want other kids sleeping (or not sleeping) at your house right before a vacation. That doesn’t make you a weak parent, just someone with boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people make going on vacation into some big ordeal. You are leaving your house and going somewhere for a short period of time not moving to a remote island where you will be isolated from the world for months at a time.

Preach
Why is this so hard for people? How have they raised a human to 13 without learning the simple art of packing and preparing their house?

It's a skill issue. It's not about parenting, it's about not being able to pack.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would be a hard no for me.

Same here. But we have a small old house where sound easily travels so if they are up all night all of us would hear it. Even with normal talking or baking in the night.

I don’t want to be extra sleep deprived right before vacation because of this.

Why would they be up all night?! You’re the adult! Just tell them at whatever time, they need to lay down and go to bed. You are in control, not the 13 year olds.

These are 13 yo old kids, not early elementary. Not many of us are giving them a lights out time. They are in middle school. Of course most will be up all night at a sleep over. This is why we don’t host them. By kids are much older than this now but this made me laugh.

Exactly, they're 13. If my DD asks for a sleepover on a night when they don't have school the next day, but I have work, I tell her she can only if they're asleep and quiet by midnight. She's old enough to know that if she doesn't comply, then she won't be allowed to have a sleepover the next time she asks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Host”? Order a pizza and let the kids be. Theyre not 5 or 8, they’re teens.

OP here. I understand this, I’m just worried they will expect to be shuttled to/from the pool, or Target, or a restaurant, etc.

You can “they can come, but I won’t be able to drive you anywhere, so please plan accordingly”.

The fact that one girl is from out of town so you can’t just move it to the week you get back makes a difference.

It’s also reasonable to say “yes but your laundry needs to be done and your suitcase packed before they come” or whatever would make it easier for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would be a hard no for me.

Same here. But we have a small old house where sound easily travels so if they are up all night all of us would hear it. Even with normal talking or baking in the night.

I don’t want to be extra sleep deprived right before vacation because of this.

Why would they be up all night?! You’re the adult! Just tell them at whatever time, they need to lay down and go to bed. You are in control, not the 13 year olds.

These are 13 yo old kids, not early elementary. Not many of us are giving them a lights out time. They are in middle school. Of course most will be up all night at a sleep over. This is why we don’t host them. By kids are much older than this now but this made me laugh.

Anonymous wrote:at this age, sure. I don't find that a couple of kids sleeping over adds much to my workload, and it sounds like this would mean a lot to DD. Then the next day she can be tired/chill and packing or doing whatever and then y'all leave for family time on Friday. It sounds perfect.

What kinds of things are on your list? Feel free to order a pizza and keep breakfast simple (bagels?) so your kitchen stays clean before your trip.

Agree with all above including pizza and bagels! At that age having kids over frees up time for me to do all the other stuff I have to do.

I hate sleepovers and would automatically say no

If you don't feel you can handle it now say "no". its not fair to your daughter to resentfully say yes. but to be honest, not sure how girls sleeping at your house 2 days before you leave is an issue, but only you know how that will impact your weekly routine.

Where would they be hanging out? If they're in the basement, or a off to the side family room, or your kid's bedroom--then I'd say yes if they are happy watching a movie/hanging out at home and being quiet by your bedtime. It might even give you more time to yourself to do whatever you need to get done.

In the morning, your daughter helps clean up the room where they slept and helps you with vacation prep.

If they need to be where you need to be organizing/packing--then say no. If you were working this week, I'd also get it, but with a whole week off to prep, one night shouldn't be a big deal.

Yes but my kids know how to pack for trips and I'm a pretty chill parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would be a hard no for me.

Same here. But we have a small old house where sound easily travels so if they are up all night all of us would hear it. Even with normal talking or baking in the night.

I don’t want to be extra sleep deprived right before vacation because of this.

Why would they be up all night?! You’re the adult! Just tell them at whatever time, they need to lay down and go to bed. You are in control, not the 13 year olds.

I agree—all this talk of “they may be expecting rides” makes me think mom has no control right now

If I could trust all the kids to keep a reasonable bed time, yes. If not, no.

For a lot of people, travel is a big deal. Vacations are a once-a-year thing and big investment. I can understand wanting to protect the time you set aside to prepare, especially if you work full time. It’s reasonable to not want other kids sleeping (or not sleeping) at your house right before a vacation. That doesn’t make you a weak parent, just someone with boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people make going on vacation into some big ordeal. You are leaving your house and going somewhere for a short period of time not moving to a remote island where you will be isolated from the world for months at a time.

Preach
Why is this so hard for people? How have they raised a human to 13 without learning the simple art of packing and preparing their house?

I would allow this. Remind your sweet child that she will need to help clean up after the sleepover.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would be a hard no for me.

Same here. But we have a small old house where sound easily travels so if they are up all night all of us would hear it. Even with normal talking or baking in the night.

I don’t want to be extra sleep deprived right before vacation because of this.

Why would they be up all night?! You’re the adult! Just tell them at whatever time, they need to lay down and go to bed. You are in control, not the 13 year olds.

I would let them. At 13 you don’t need to be super involved.