Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:57     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Anonymous wrote:Spanking might get some sort of fear based compliance at a young age. But you can't spank a 12 year old boy who is almost your size, so as a long term parenting idea it's ridiculous. So take a parenting class and figure out how to connect and talk to your child. Heart to hearts don't really work. You need to actually have calm limits and consequences. This is uncomfortable to do and your kid will be upset and you will need to hold the line.


At least two of my cousins have learned that lesson the hard way. But if you normalize violence as a response, you can't be surprised if it comes back at you.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:55     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Anonymous wrote:We do timeouts in the garage. Even if the temperature is uncomfortable and DC is not dressed for it. If DC refuses or resists, we drag them to the garage.


What the f***.


Also op, you know spanking is wrong. Laughing at the poster who suggests having your kid hug you after. Do you also make them thank you after each spank?
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:53     Subject: Re:Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Anonymous wrote:The chances of unwittingly giving your child a lifelong sexual fetish—and despising you when he realizes his peers aren’t humiliated at home—are high. Hoping this is a troll.

omg, how ridiculous I hope you are a troll.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:46     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
We do timeouts in the garage. Even if the temperature is uncomfortable and DC is not dressed for it. If DC refuses or resists, we drag them to the garage.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:34     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
My kids never did anything to warrant a big punishment until high school. Then it was loss of allowance (6months). Loss of phone (2 months) with the permanent removal of all social media and parent control that don’t allow apps, plus removal of bad influence friend (blocked, numbers removed, etc), and grounding for a month. That was all in one go. Maybe it was over the top- but she snuck out of the house.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:29     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Anonymous wrote:Most of the replies here are idiotic. Spanking can absolutely be used as part of a broader parenting scheme. Your problem is that your kid is already pretty old to start spanking. You also don't mention what other punishments you have tried already - spanking should never be the first step, not even the second... spanking is the "ultimate" punishment and is meant to show your kid that they really messed up. Have you put the kid in a corner or made them sit quietly on a step or a chair, something mild, but boring should always be the primary punishment (once you get to the point of having to punish). Realistically this should have been started with a much younger child, and the spank would have been very mild.. now the kid is older and a mild spank will do nothing.


False. A mild spank will make your child disrespect the parents and the parents think they need to do it harder. I’m 50 and think my parents were dead wrong for spanking - that and many other things like that put them in the low-average parent category.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:29     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
So we're okay with spanking, but 1st grade seems too old. I have a son who is just finishing first grade. He is too old to spank.

What you need to do is have very firm boundaries. As soon as they cross them, the punishment happens. It's different with each of my kids, but you find something they really like. For major issues, kids have lost doors to their bedroom for a week even (a major not respecting their sibling's privacy).
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:26     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Anonymous wrote:Spanking….i know it’s controversial, and I’m not looking to start a debate. I know, because I have searched and see quite a few admit to spanking there kids when needed. So I’m not asking if you agree with it or not, I’m asking if those that do, would provide a little basic info of what works for you. My just finished 1st grade boy is driving us mad. He is disrespectful, mouthy, and doesn’t listen, we have tried all kind of punishments and we are ready to try spanking. Neither my husband or I was spanked growing up and you can’t just google this topic or you get all kinda gross and very obviously fake, or I hope they are fake answers. So what has worked for you in regards to a spanking. We plan to have another heart to heart with him this weekend and explain that this will now be a consequence when he has bad behavior.


You weren’t spanked yet you want to abuse your kid and are coming here for advice?

If you can answer that then I can tell you how I was spanked and would never do that to my kids
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:23     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
The science on this is really clear.

https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3447048/

There's strong evidence corporal punishment increases aggression in kids.

The likely outcome here is you hit your kid and they're going to start hitting other kids at school.

Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:19     Subject: Re:Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
You don't hit kids. Period. Full stop.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:13     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Most of the replies here are idiotic. Spanking can absolutely be used as part of a broader parenting scheme. Your problem is that your kid is already pretty old to start spanking. You also don't mention what other punishments you have tried already - spanking should never be the first step, not even the second... spanking is the "ultimate" punishment and is meant to show your kid that they really messed up. Have you put the kid in a corner or made them sit quietly on a step or a chair, something mild, but boring should always be the primary punishment (once you get to the point of having to punish). Realistically this should have been started with a much younger child, and the spank would have been very mild.. now the kid is older and a mild spank will do nothing.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 07:43     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Spanking might get some sort of fear based compliance at a young age. But you can't spank a 12 year old boy who is almost your size, so as a long term parenting idea it's ridiculous. So take a parenting class and figure out how to connect and talk to your child. Heart to hearts don't really work. You need to actually have calm limits and consequences. This is uncomfortable to do and your kid will be upset and you will need to hold the line.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 07:42     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
Just don’t. You’ll make him 10x worse. Parent. Do not spank.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 07:37     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
I did it once when DD was 5. Have regretted it ever since, she’s a teen now. It escalated the situation and as the parent I am supposed to de escalate.
What have you tried already on a consistent basis?
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 07:14     Subject: Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….
My parents spanked me and slapped me in the face also. I grew up to not trust them and hide things from them. I snuck out had sex at 13 and was a secret bad kid. I have never hit my child and will never do so. I am an anxious adult and need medication to function and I’m pretty sure my shitty childhood is a factor in this.