Anonymous
Post 06/23/2026 17:50     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
At Peace Parents has lots of 5-10 minute videos on specific, discrete topics you can watch on their social media accounts. I have found them very helpful and they are free! Just spend 10 minutes a day watching one or two of the videos and monitoring their social media posts generally.
Anonymous
Post 06/23/2026 17:40     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
OP have you tried occupational therapy? I'm thinking it's possible that he has delayed motor skills which leads to defiance for shoe tying and maybe sensory issues with sunscreen?
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2026 23:51     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you done the At Peace Parents coaching? We did it (one on one parent sessions, texting with questions etc) and it was priceless.

This? https://www.atpeaceparents.com/

We are so hesitant to spend MORE money.

Why? Is it going to keep you from being able to pay your rent or mortgage?

This is your CHILD.

New poster. Yes, this is my child, and EVERYTHING is major $$, we're close to 200k for a 7 yo. And honestly, I hate people selling "courses" regurgitating same content from one resource to another. I see that as preying on desperate parents.

NP---money is finite. Unlike a script for amoxicillin when your kid has an ear infection, there is no guarantee that coaching or therapy will work. People do the best they can with the tools they have. It's very hard to continue to spend money on "maybe this will work"

+100 We've learned this the hard way. We now set time limits for coaches, therapists and educational advocates.


Same

Although good therapist want to make an impact and turn down customers who don’t open up or whine they know will not do the homework or are lying.
One PhD one for ND adults we used also once was very clear: she said all she can do is act as a conduit to let him lie & vent & blame others, in the hope that this mitigates or lessens his rages at home.
He quit therapy once he sensed the therapist didn’t believe his lies.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2026 23:48     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:This has been going on his whole life.

Trying to teach him how to put on sunscreen: screams that it hurts, you’re pushing too hard, stop it, etc.

Did he put on sunscreen at camp? Nope. He’s burned.

Try to teach him how to tie his shoes? Nope. He has his own way. He’s 10 and can’t tie his shoes.

Big stuff, like puberty? He screams and runs away, literally. If we try to talk in the car, he just starts screaming.

This has been going on for so many years. We have a therapist. We’re at a loss. I really don’t know what to do.


Wow, that’s some real refusal going on and oppositional defiance disorder.

Any ASD? The above can be a maladaptive cope for ASD. Or is someone else at home role modeling this loud belligerence?
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2026 18:03     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:This has been going on his whole life.

Trying to teach him how to put on sunscreen: screams that it hurts, you’re pushing too hard, stop it, etc.

Did he put on sunscreen at camp? Nope. He’s burned.

Try to teach him how to tie his shoes? Nope. He has his own way. He’s 10 and can’t tie his shoes.

Big stuff, like puberty? He screams and runs away, literally. If we try to talk in the car, he just starts screaming.

This has been going on for so many years. We have a therapist. We’re at a loss. I really don’t know what to do.


Consequences, woman.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2026 18:00     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you done the At Peace Parents coaching? We did it (one on one parent sessions, texting with questions etc) and it was priceless.

This? https://www.atpeaceparents.com/

We are so hesitant to spend MORE money.

Why? Is it going to keep you from being able to pay your rent or mortgage?

This is your CHILD.

New poster. Yes, this is my child, and EVERYTHING is major $$, we're close to 200k for a 7 yo. And honestly, I hate people selling "courses" regurgitating same content from one resource to another. I see that as preying on desperate parents.

NP---money is finite. Unlike a script for amoxicillin when your kid has an ear infection, there is no guarantee that coaching or therapy will work. People do the best they can with the tools they have. It's very hard to continue to spend money on "maybe this will work"

+100 We've learned this the hard way. We now set time limits for coaches, therapists and educational advocates.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2026 16:05     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you done the At Peace Parents coaching? We did it (one on one parent sessions, texting with questions etc) and it was priceless.


This? https://www.atpeaceparents.com/

We are so hesitant to spend MORE money.


Why? Is it going to keep you from being able to pay your rent or mortgage?

This is your CHILD.


New poster. Yes, this is my child, and EVERYTHING is major $$, we're close to 200k for a 7 yo. And honestly, I hate people selling "courses" regurgitating same content from one resource to another. I see that as preying on desperate parents.


NP---money is finite. Unlike a script for amoxicillin when your kid has an ear infection, there is no guarantee that coaching or therapy will work. People do the best they can with the tools they have. It's very hard to continue to spend money on "maybe this will work"
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2026 16:02     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you done the At Peace Parents coaching? We did it (one on one parent sessions, texting with questions etc) and it was priceless.


This? https://www.atpeaceparents.com/

We are so hesitant to spend MORE money.


Why? Is it going to keep you from being able to pay your rent or mortgage?

This is your CHILD.


New poster. Yes, this is my child, and EVERYTHING is major $$, we're close to 200k for a 7 yo. And honestly, I hate people selling "courses" regurgitating same content from one resource to another. I see that as preying on desperate parents.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2026 08:31     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
I sympathize op. My 9yo is also a school high achiever but at home has sensory issues with frequent home meltdowns. No luck with tying shoes. But mostly he craves independence. Generally we pick our battles very carefully and give as much control to him as is safely possible (ie bikes himself to school so he can arrive earlier). Occasionally we have to threaten him with losing a big reward if he can’t do something necessary like take a shower when needed. It seems to be a mix of anxiety/ocd/pda.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2026 06:03     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
OP, were you and dc able to find an acceptable sunscreen?

I had posted in this thread but I forgot to mention uv-resistant shirts and hats. Commonly available (in style also) and a good alternative.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2026 04:43     Subject: Completely unable to teach PDA 10 year old anything
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you done the At Peace Parents coaching? We did it (one on one parent sessions, texting with questions etc) and it was priceless.


This? https://www.atpeaceparents.com/

We are so hesitant to spend MORE money.


Why? Is it going to keep you from being able to pay your rent or mortgage?

This is your CHILD.