Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Not responding WAS the boundary.

Anonymous wrote:Could be headed somewhere dark, like this:

https://www.truecrimereporter.com/episodes/a-love-triangle-ends-in-an-alleged-murderous-fit-of-jealous-rage/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

You sound crazy. Yes he knows her best and he said her message was nice. He also didn't describe any negative behavior from her except the nasty message and the fact that she's clearly stalking his GF's public social media. These are concerning but on their own tell me she's upset about the breakup, not that she's crazy, manipulative, or scheming.

I think it's strange OP didn't just send her a quick message to say he didn't want to get back together but wished her well. What happened between them that this didn't seem like an option to him? It's like bare minimum.

Yes, he did. The only reason you're saying all of this is because OP is a man. Be so for real.

Nope. I'm a woman and I'm saying this specifically because when I was young and immature (like early 20s) I did ghost exes or had this idea that after we broke up I never wanted to see or hear from them again. Now I'm older and a recognize that was a weird, emotionally immature response. If you have an intimate relationship with someone, it should be normal that you can interact with them in the future. Not be friends (I've never stayed friends with exes) but be pleasant.

If I was dating a guy who responded to his ex the way OP responded to his, I would wonder what went on in that relationship that there is so much drama and bad feelings like this. I don't think that's normal.

Newsflash, you don't owe anyone a lifetime of contact just because you were intimate with them at some point. This is not some 20 year old immature girl. This is a woman in her 40s who should not be reaching out to an ex who is in a new relationship, much less lashing out once she didn't get a response she wanted. Sounds like both of you have a lot more maturing to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Not responding WAS the boundary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

You sound crazy. Yes he knows her best and he said her message was nice. He also didn't describe any negative behavior from her except the nasty message and the fact that she's clearly stalking his GF's public social media. These are concerning but on their own tell me she's upset about the breakup, not that she's crazy, manipulative, or scheming.

I think it's strange OP didn't just send her a quick message to say he didn't want to get back together but wished her well. What happened between them that this didn't seem like an option to him? It's like bare minimum.

Yes, he did. The only reason you're saying all of this is because OP is a man. Be so for real.

Nope. I'm a woman and I'm saying this specifically because when I was young and immature (like early 20s) I did ghost exes or had this idea that after we broke up I never wanted to see or hear from them again. Now I'm older and a recognize that was a weird, emotionally immature response. If you have an intimate relationship with someone, it should be normal that you can interact with them in the future. Not be friends (I've never stayed friends with exes) but be pleasant.

If I was dating a guy who responded to his ex the way OP responded to his, I would wonder what went on in that relationship that there is so much drama and bad feelings like this. I don't think that's normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

Note that he isn’t responding to people on this thread either - which tells me that he is unresponsive in general, not only to that specific woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

You sound crazy. Yes he knows her best and he said her message was nice. He also didn't describe any negative behavior from her except the nasty message and the fact that she's clearly stalking his GF's public social media. These are concerning but on their own tell me she's upset about the breakup, not that she's crazy, manipulative, or scheming.

I think it's strange OP didn't just send her a quick message to say he didn't want to get back together but wished her well. What happened between them that this didn't seem like an option to him? It's like bare minimum.

Yes, he did. The only reason you're saying all of this is because OP is a man. Be so for real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

You sound crazy. Yes he knows her best and he said her message was nice. He also didn't describe any negative behavior from her except the nasty message and the fact that she's clearly stalking his GF's public social media. These are concerning but on their own tell me she's upset about the breakup, not that she's crazy, manipulative, or scheming.

I think it's strange OP didn't just send her a quick message to say he didn't want to get back together but wished her well. What happened between them that this didn't seem like an option to him? It's like bare minimum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

Note that he isn’t responding to people on this thread either - which tells me that he is unresponsive in general, not only to that specific woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

No, just no. Based on how she lashed out at him after not getting a response I would have done the same. He knows her better than you all. He doesn't want to engage with crazy and that's perfectly fine. Her massage wasn't nice. It's manipulation and scheming. She knows he is in a new relationship and completely disrespected that. She deserves nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.

He doesn’t owe her a response, it would just be a nice thing to do, given how long they’d been together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.