My middle kid was very similar to this in preschool. We had him evaluated several times and they all came back with a combination of a few mild issues but, frustratingly, never a diagnosis. While it was frustrating at the time because we could tell that he was a little different, we now realize that he doesn't really need a diagnosis. We redshirted him (summer birthday) because both the preschool and the new school felt that he would be better as an oldest child rather than a youngest child in the grade and it would give us a little more time to see if more issues developed. He is academically ahead and could have handled being in the grade above, but his current grade is the right place for him socially and emotionally.

He is now well into elementary school and he is doing great, both in school and socially. I have to admit that I am surprised by this given how much trouble he had in preschool. So many people told us he would definitely get an autism diagnosis and I also thought that given his behaviors. He is very bright, so I think he was getting bored, and he was immature for his age, which has largely gone away. He is still a kid who marches to his own drummer, but not is a way that disrupts his academics or his friendships.

He is at NPS and it has been a terrific school for him. We supplement a lot outside of school because of his particular academic interests, but the small size and the other ways that the school supports kids socially has been a really good fit for him. Not going to a K-12 was also a good choice because we know a lot more about him now than when he was four and can make a better decision for upper school now that we know him as a learner.

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP - I had a somewhat similar child where it just ended up being gifted plus youngest in grade. Not ADHD or Autism. I think most important is a school that will give him time to grow into the school setting before a rush to evaluations and categorization. Some private schools are very focused on this for two reasons: 1) Everyone red shirts so if you don't, your child may look artificially behind with some behaviors or abilities. 2) Many of these programs are successful because they choose classes where there is a lot of cohesion. No asynchronous learners - just easy kids, everyone learning at one level. They know they hold the power to counsel out kids who are in any way outliers - and the first step is often pushing for evaluation and supports so they can outsource learning outside the median.
What's worked for us is a school with a lot of ability-based learning groups for things like reading, math, etc. And also a bilingual school - the second language fulfills a lot of the need for challenge. We also do a lot of supplementary learning at home at child's request.
So I would focus less on which school will challenge enough and more which school won't pathologize too early.

This is excellent advice.

Anonymous wrote:Thinking more, I would suggest Acorn Hill Waldorf Kindergarten. They have an outdoor program that would give a social boost. It’s a key age for social emotional development and they are great at this. The academics will come for your child no doubt, but these other aspects have a window of optimization.

All this said, my guess is that it’s a bridge too far for the OP. Nevertheless, I encourage a visit.

Waldorf is not great for kids like OP’s, too easy to stay in own world and not interact with same aged peers. We considered it for a similar profile.

Hi OP - I had a somewhat similar child where it just ended up being gifted plus youngest in grade. Not ADHD or Autism. I think most important is a school that will give him time to grow into the school setting before a rush to evaluations and categorization. Some private schools are very focused on this for two reasons: 1) Everyone red shirts so if you don't, your child may look artificially behind with some behaviors or abilities. 2) Many of these programs are successful because they choose classes where there is a lot of cohesion. No asynchronous learners - just easy kids, everyone learning at one level. They know they hold the power to counsel out kids who are in any way outliers - and the first step is often pushing for evaluation and supports so they can outsource learning outside the median.
What's worked for us is a school with a lot of ability-based learning groups for things like reading, math, etc. And also a bilingual school - the second language fulfills a lot of the need for challenge. We also do a lot of supplementary learning at home at child's request.
So I would focus less on which school will challenge enough and more which school won't pathologize too early.

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Dude there is literally someone who said that OP clearly doesn't know how to parent. I didn't say mentioning disabilities was a problem, I just said people were being insane for jumping to it and called out a phrase you also found offensive... you brought up the counting. Maybe don't lump yourself into defending people you disagree with and you won't find yourself fighting with people who disagree them...

I actually don't find the phrase that poster used offensive. I found your misrepresentation of that quote offensive. You are the one lumping people together, not me. You started by saying "everyone" is insisting the OP's child will definitely get a diagnosis. Two posts on this thread have actually said that in some way. The poor parenting post is obviously ridiculous and not sure why you are bringing that up now as though I supported it. What the actual F is the matter with you?

Omg you need to take a chill pill and go back and re-read what I wrote because I said that everyone jumping to the conclusion is insane, not everyone in this thread is jumping to that conclusion... you clearly are just here to fight because you haven't gotten your angst out for the day.

So to OP I will just say, don't let some randos on the internet convince you there is clearly something wrong with your child or that you are a bad parent. You are clearly observant and looking at the best options for them and doing what you need to do to get them the best resources when you see issues arise (which yes includes testing to the troll jumping on me).

Now I'm going to bed, so go find another person to get your angst out on.

Pot, meet kettle

Talking to the mirror again?

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Dude there is literally someone who said that OP clearly doesn't know how to parent. I didn't say mentioning disabilities was a problem, I just said people were being insane for jumping to it and called out a phrase you also found offensive... you brought up the counting. Maybe don't lump yourself into defending people you disagree with and you won't find yourself fighting with people who disagree them...

I actually don't find the phrase that poster used offensive. I found your misrepresentation of that quote offensive. You are the one lumping people together, not me. You started by saying "everyone" is insisting the OP's child will definitely get a diagnosis. Two posts on this thread have actually said that in some way. The poor parenting post is obviously ridiculous and not sure why you are bringing that up now as though I supported it. What the actual F is the matter with you?

The poor parenting post was literally the one they were responding to. What the F is actually the matter with you?

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Dude there is literally someone who said that OP clearly doesn't know how to parent. I didn't say mentioning disabilities was a problem, I just said people were being insane for jumping to it and called out a phrase you also found offensive... you brought up the counting. Maybe don't lump yourself into defending people you disagree with and you won't find yourself fighting with people who disagree them...

I actually don't find the phrase that poster used offensive. I found your misrepresentation of that quote offensive. You are the one lumping people together, not me. You started by saying "everyone" is insisting the OP's child will definitely get a diagnosis. Two posts on this thread have actually said that in some way. The poor parenting post is obviously ridiculous and not sure why you are bringing that up now as though I supported it. What the actual F is the matter with you?

Omg you need to take a chill pill and go back and re-read what I wrote because I said that everyone jumping to the conclusion is insane, not everyone in this thread is jumping to that conclusion... you clearly are just here to fight because you haven't gotten your angst out for the day.

So to OP I will just say, don't let some randos on the internet convince you there is clearly something wrong with your child or that you are a bad parent. You are clearly observant and looking at the best options for them and doing what you need to do to get them the best resources when you see issues arise (which yes includes testing to the troll jumping on me).

Now I'm going to bed, so go find another person to get your angst out on.

Pot, meet kettle

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Dude there is literally someone who said that OP clearly doesn't know how to parent. I didn't say mentioning disabilities was a problem, I just said people were being insane for jumping to it and called out a phrase you also found offensive... you brought up the counting. Maybe don't lump yourself into defending people you disagree with and you won't find yourself fighting with people who disagree them...

I actually don't find the phrase that poster used offensive. I found your misrepresentation of that quote offensive. You are the one lumping people together, not me. You started by saying "everyone" is insisting the OP's child will definitely get a diagnosis. Two posts on this thread have actually said that in some way. The poor parenting post is obviously ridiculous and not sure why you are bringing that up now as though I supported it. What the actual F is the matter with you?

Omg you need to take a chill pill and go back and re-read what I wrote because I said that everyone jumping to the conclusion is insane, not everyone in this thread is jumping to that conclusion... you clearly are just here to fight because you haven't gotten your angst out for the day.

So to OP I will just say, don't let some randos on the internet convince you there is clearly something wrong with your child or that you are a bad parent. You are clearly observant and looking at the best options for them and doing what you need to do to get them the best resources when you see issues arise (which yes includes testing to the troll jumping on me).

Now I'm going to bed, so go find another person to get your angst out on.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Dude there is literally someone who said that OP clearly doesn't know how to parent. I didn't say mentioning disabilities was a problem, I just said people were being insane for jumping to it and called out a phrase you also found offensive... you brought up the counting. Maybe don't lump yourself into defending people you disagree with and you won't find yourself fighting with people who disagree them...

I actually don't find the phrase that poster used offensive. I found your misrepresentation of that quote offensive. You are the one lumping people together, not me. You started by saying "everyone" is insisting the OP's child will definitely get a diagnosis. Two posts on this thread have actually said that in some way. The poor parenting post is obviously ridiculous and not sure why you are bringing that up now as though I supported it. What the actual F is the matter with you?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Dude there is literally someone who said that OP clearly doesn't know how to parent. I didn't say mentioning disabilities was a problem, I just said people were being insane for jumping to it and called out a phrase you also found offensive... you brought up the counting. Maybe don't lump yourself into defending people you disagree with and you won't find yourself fighting with people who disagree them...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Ok now you are just counting people who mention a diagnosis as a possibility which is quite different from your initial complaint. Sorry you find the mere mention of disabilities offensive, but that is a you problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Uuuuuh I see at least 4 if you are being conservative, 5 if you count the person coming back to add more. Yea only one worded it exactly that way, but the teacher was pretty damn close and definitely jumping to her own conclusions that made me question her skills as a teacher...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

Two posts in this thread have stated they think that this child will get a diagnosis. One of those used the phrase "waiting to happen" but was referring to the diagnosis, not "autism/ADHD" itself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

An IEP evaluation is not the same as a neuropsychological evaluation. It is much more limited in scope.

Autism/ADHD is not something anyone should describe as "waiting to happen". It is something a child usually has always had. The diagnosis doesn't change who they are. It just helps to convey what support they need. I don't know if OP's kid has either of those conditions, but it sounds like OP already feels her child needs a particular type of educational environment, and a neuropsych could be useful to elucidate what the child's specific needs are.

Agreed, and that's why it got under my skin that parents and teachers literally said it to OP...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no, I'm open to listening - never parented before so always helpful to hear how others managed and navigated this system and time of life

Ha ha you certainly don't have to tell us you've never parented before. It couldn't be more obvious.

Honestly, I think parents on here jumping all over OP that their kid needs to be tested when they are clearly describing classic behaviors of an intelligent child in an environment that isn't stimulating is crazy... I'm not going to tell OP not to test because it doesn't hurt, but I wouldn't assume that the kid is going to have anything necessarily from a diagnosis perspective...

OP has shared that her son is likely to lose focus on tasks he is bored doing. That is going to be an issue at any school. They are planning to send him to private school which will cost tens of thousands of dollars each year. Spending a few grand on an evaluation now could pay dividends and give them some clear information on what type of environment will work for their kid and what supports he might need to thrive socially.

Literally every 5 year old on the planet will loose interest when bored, and OP said they already had an evaluation... Again I'm not saying don't have your kid tested, but everyone jumping to "kid has autism/ADHD" waiting to happen is insane!

An IEP evaluation is not the same as a neuropsychological evaluation. It is much more limited in scope.

Autism/ADHD is not something anyone should describe as "waiting to happen". It is something a child usually has always had. The diagnosis doesn't change who they are. It just helps to convey what support they need. I don't know if OP's kid has either of those conditions, but it sounds like OP already feels her child needs a particular type of educational environment, and a neuropsych could be useful to elucidate what the child's specific needs are.