Anonymous wrote:Sadly, you had no relationship with your brother and it’s too late. Now you decide if you want to work on your other sibling relationships or let them go. This is a crossroad for you.

My brother and Iused to have a fairly good relationship over the phone until our mother passed some years ago. He and our sister never reached out to me with the sad news.

Sadly, you had no relationship with your brother and it’s too late. Now you decide if you want to work on your other sibling relationships or let them go. This is a crossroad for you.

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Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

As the days pass, expectations become lower. I’ve been hurt by their exclusion and secrecy for years. Nephew told me there’s more he’d like to tell me, but I won’t beg for communication.

Take the long view, and let your nephew know there's no rush -- you're grateful for whatever he wants to share, whenever he wants to share it

This is my current mindset, but I wrote a list of questions I hope to get answered some day.
The fact that my father haven’t shared he became a great grandfather (from my brother’s daughter) is an evidence that he was told not to tell me anything about them. I’m realizing he is partially responsible for my siblings behavior.

It's always everyone else's fault and you're the victim, right OP? Oh sorry and everyone is jealous of you too. I see right through it.

It’s always easier to rush to judgment when you just have an inch of the 30 mile long story.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

As the days pass, expectations become lower. I’ve been hurt by their exclusion and secrecy for years. Nephew told me there’s more he’d like to tell me, but I won’t beg for communication.

Take the long view, and let your nephew know there's no rush -- you're grateful for whatever he wants to share, whenever he wants to share it

This is my current mindset, but I wrote a list of questions I hope to get answered some day.
The fact that my father haven’t shared he became a great grandfather (from my brother’s daughter) is an evidence that he was told not to tell me anything about them. I’m realizing he is partially responsible for my siblings behavior.

It's always everyone else's fault and you're the victim, right OP? Oh sorry and everyone is jealous of you too. I see right through it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

As the days pass, expectations become lower. I’ve been hurt by their exclusion and secrecy for years. Nephew told me there’s more he’d like to tell me, but I won’t beg for communication.

Take the long view, and let your nephew know there's no rush -- you're grateful for whatever he wants to share, whenever he wants to share it

This is my current mindset, but I wrote a list of questions I hope to get answered some day.
The fact that my father haven’t shared he became a great grandfather (from my brother’s daughter) is an evidence that he was told not to tell me anything about them. I’m realizing he is partially responsible for my siblings behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

As the days pass, expectations become lower. I’ve been hurt by their exclusion and secrecy for years. Nephew told me there’s more he’d like to tell me, but I won’t beg for communication.

Take the long view, and let your nephew know there's no rush -- you're grateful for whatever he wants to share, whenever he wants to share it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

As the days pass, expectations become lower. I’ve been hurt by their exclusion and secrecy for years. Nephew told me there’s more he’d like to tell me, but I won’t beg for communication.

This is typical for the situation you describe. Just understand this. When you’re feeling distressed about this situation your mind can create scenarios and make you think of possibilities that are simply not true. What we think, when our mind is in distress, is almost always not true.
You simply don’t know the why. Find a way to stop circling the drain with negative self talk.

Sock puppets Oy..

ArlingtonMom22 wrote:I'm really sorry you're going through this. Family dynamics get so complicated when someone is seriously ill, and the old wounds tend to surface in the worst ways. If your nephew is keeping you updated even loosely, hold onto that connection. Sometimes the younger generation can bridge gaps the older one can't. Sending you strength.

Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

As the days pass, expectations become lower. I’ve been hurt by their exclusion and secrecy for years. Nephew told me there’s more he’d like to tell me, but I won’t beg for communication.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because. Sometimes if you’re receiving the same treatment from multiple people (family, friends, coworkers- which ever group) you have to look within yourself

And sometimes you’re just the scapegoat.

Sorry the harpies are out,

OP. I think the suggestion to try and maintain contact with nephew is a good one. Perhaps there is a chance for some renewal there. Again, my condolences.

THIS! Leave open possibilities but manage expectations. 😁

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad that I am curious why you’ve been excluded by not one but three people and not defended by your brother?

This.
How did you get here OP?

I had the determination to ask the question directly to my brother just a day before I learned he was fighting for his life.

May want to ask those who don’t seem to care for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad that I am curious why you’ve been excluded by not one but three people and not defended by your brother?

This.
How did you get here OP?

I had the determination to ask the question directly to my brother just a day before I learned he was fighting for his life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it bad that I am curious why you’ve been excluded by not one but three people and not defended by your brother?

This.
How did you get here OP?

And do you actually want to change or to change the dynamic?
If not, you probably already started grieving your family when they dropped out of your lives and it's kinder to yourself to stay estranged.