Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

LOL now you're the boss of what people can "hope" for? And you think you are so open minded. LOL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid for three of our daughters' weddings and they all chose something different. None has any regrets. The cheapest of the three was about 40k. The other two were around 100k.

Out of curiosity, would you have appreciated if groom’s parents offered to help with costs?

I'm a MOB and like us, the groom's family has money. We don't want or need "help with costs" of the wedding. But I do hope they give some sort of outstanding gift to the couple.

It sounds like you expect it. Like they owe it to you or something.

What part of “hope” conveyed an expectation?

It's just an odd way to put it. I would have said something along the lines of "[T]he groom's family has money. We don't want or need 'help with costs' of the wedding. I'm sure they will be generous in other ways." Or something like that. The "I do hope they give some sort of outstanding gift" implies a kind of expectation, like you'd be disappointed or annoyed if they don't.

We didn't "hope" the grooms' families did anything in particular. We knew/know they are all good people. No reason to "hope" for anything so particular out of them.

4K. 38 years ago. In the Midwest.

$35K, three years ago. My parents gave me $10K and I paid the rest. About 60 guests in DC.

7500 in 2013. Small, family only ceremony.

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid for three of our daughters' weddings and they all chose something different. None has any regrets. The cheapest of the three was about 40k. The other two were around 100k.

Out of curiosity, would you have appreciated if groom’s parents offered to help with costs?

I'm a MOB and like us, the groom's family has money. We don't want or need "help with costs" of the wedding. But I do hope they give some sort of outstanding gift to the couple.

It sounds like you expect it. Like they owe it to you or something.

What part of “hope” conveyed an expectation?

Maybe $3k 28 years ago. We had a small family-only destination wedding which was perfect for us. We came back to DC and bought a house with the $$ we/my parents had set aside for a big wedding. DH and I dislike being the center of attention and we really wanted to buy our first home so it was the right decision for us.

About $100,000 all in. 20 years ago this month. Wouldn’t change a thing.

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid for three of our daughters' weddings and they all chose something different. None has any regrets. The cheapest of the three was about 40k. The other two were around 100k.

Out of curiosity, would you have appreciated if groom’s parents offered to help with costs?

I'm a MOB and like us, the groom's family has money. We don't want or need "help with costs" of the wedding. But I do hope they give some sort of outstanding gift to the couple.

It sounds like you expect it. Like they owe it to you or something.

I don’t hear that anywhere.