We can afford it, so all our kids have always had cars we have purchased outright (used, not new) and we have our family insurance agency process the policies. We also pay their premiums

"Take out a car loan like everyone else" is a very bad financial decision. Your 25K car ends up costing 50K. GREAT ADVICE

We also just paid the hospital delivery and NICU bill for our son's gf who had our grandchild without their being married. Big whoop, it's our money.

Somehow there seems to be a message that everyone needs to pretend to have come from a working class background and made all their money from "hard work" when it's usually anything but.

If you're hoarding money like some dragon while your kids can't make rent or bills, what was the point of your making money? Truly? What was your goal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they living within their means? Or can they not afford it because they eat out all the time, spend a ton of money on the best haircuts and clothes, drink a ton of alcohol. Do they know how to be frugal?

That would change my answer.

+1

Those darned youngsters and their avocado toast ways! If they are eating avocados don't you dare help them with a car!

I’m the pp and I’m laughing at the avocado toast, but you and I know it’s not just a brunch here and there. It’s a $7 coffee every day, it’s door dash 5 times a week, it’s having an expensive phone + max plan and 5 different streaming subscriptions…it’s all the things that add up. When I was first out of college I ate rice a roni and I didn’t go out like my peers did. I had plenty of fun, but I was frugal until I could afford not to be. People need to be okay with not getting what they want when they want it in order to live within their means.

I am curious about OP’s kid and how OP feels about their budgeting.

Omg, no it’s not. You are literally avocado toasting.

It’s the $4k rent that goes up 10% a year. Auto insurance is out of control. If they have kids, daycare is basically legal extortion.

Rice a roni? How old are you exactly?

People go out because of financial nihilism — they have tried living frugal but realizing it’s a losing proposition, costs go up faster than you can save.

Please. None of them have actually tried living frugally. They’ve been raised to expect Starbucks runs, restaurant food all the time, Amazon anything they want and need overnight, and multiple nice vacations a year as a right and not a privilege. $7 Starbucks/day is $2500 a year. And yes you think “oh that’s not that much” but that’s just one beverage. Think of everything else they spend money on that’s “just” x per month or y per year—can you not see that you can save real money that can then be invested?

At work, many colleagues come in every day with a venti Starbucks and get takeout for lunch. They can choose how they spend their money, but don’t pretend that wouldn’t add up to real money over the long run. I’m not saying go without absolutely everything, but normalize making your own coffee most days and packing your own lunch. Meeting people for a walk instead of brunch…it’s really okay to not have everything you want when you want it. Immediate gratification isn’t the secret to happiness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they living within their means? Or can they not afford it because they eat out all the time, spend a ton of money on the best haircuts and clothes, drink a ton of alcohol. Do they know how to be frugal?

That would change my answer.

+1

Those darned youngsters and their avocado toast ways! If they are eating avocados don't you dare help them with a car!

I’m the pp and I’m laughing at the avocado toast, but you and I know it’s not just a brunch here and there. It’s a $7 coffee every day, it’s door dash 5 times a week, it’s having an expensive phone + max plan and 5 different streaming subscriptions…it’s all the things that add up. When I was first out of college I ate rice a roni and I didn’t go out like my peers did. I had plenty of fun, but I was frugal until I could afford not to be. People need to be okay with not getting what they want when they want it in order to live within their means.

I am curious about OP’s kid and how OP feels about their budgeting.

Omg, no it’s not. You are literally avocado toasting.

It’s the $4k rent that goes up 10% a year. Auto insurance is out of control. If they have kids, daycare is basically legal extortion.

Rice a roni? How old are you exactly?

People go out because of financial nihilism — they have tried living frugal but realizing it’s a losing proposition, costs go up faster than you can save.

NP-Rent for a young person is not 4k even now...And op's child has no kids. Yes, it is a lot harder for couples looking to buy to buy, and childcare is a lot. But a young person starting out in life and with a stable, good job should be able to handle their own expenses and be fine.

It depends on how comfortable you are. If you have plenty of money, I’d gift each child a certain amount and the child who needs a car can use the money for that. I would not buy one kid a car without doing something equivalent financially for the other kids.

Anonymous wrote:"you don't want them to buy an older car within their financial range"

This is wild.

This! But also, a more expensive car will have higher registration fees and a higher monthly insurance payment.

I was in a similar position to your kid 20 years ago. I bought a 10-year-old Camry with low miles from a friend's grandmother - it was a perfect daily commuter car and 100% affordable to me.

You paid half the rent for two years. And grad school. And college?

Your kid is spoiled and needs to learn how to budget.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they living within their means? Or can they not afford it because they eat out all the time, spend a ton of money on the best haircuts and clothes, drink a ton of alcohol. Do they know how to be frugal?

That would change my answer.

+1

Those darned youngsters and their avocado toast ways! If they are eating avocados don't you dare help them with a car!

I’m the pp and I’m laughing at the avocado toast, but you and I know it’s not just a brunch here and there. It’s a $7 coffee every day, it’s door dash 5 times a week, it’s having an expensive phone + max plan and 5 different streaming subscriptions…it’s all the things that add up. When I was first out of college I ate rice a roni and I didn’t go out like my peers did. I had plenty of fun, but I was frugal until I could afford not to be. People need to be okay with not getting what they want when they want it in order to live within their means.

I am curious about OP’s kid and how OP feels about their budgeting.

Omg, no it’s not. You are literally avocado toasting.

It’s the $4k rent that goes up 10% a year. Auto insurance is out of control. If they have kids, daycare is basically legal extortion.

Rice a roni? How old are you exactly?

People go out because of financial nihilism — they have tried living frugal but realizing it’s a losing proposition, costs go up faster than you can save.

If you're paying $4k for rent in your 20s, you're an idiot

Focus on your own finances since you’re nearing retirement.

Your kid can save up $5-$7k for a used car. Just because a car is old doesn’t mean it isn’t reliable. I still drive the 2003 Lexus my parents bought for me in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they living within their means? Or can they not afford it because they eat out all the time, spend a ton of money on the best haircuts and clothes, drink a ton of alcohol. Do they know how to be frugal?

That would change my answer.

+1

Those darned youngsters and their avocado toast ways! If they are eating avocados don't you dare help them with a car!

I’m the pp and I’m laughing at the avocado toast, but you and I know it’s not just a brunch here and there. It’s a $7 coffee every day, it’s door dash 5 times a week, it’s having an expensive phone + max plan and 5 different streaming subscriptions…it’s all the things that add up. When I was first out of college I ate rice a roni and I didn’t go out like my peers did. I had plenty of fun, but I was frugal until I could afford not to be. People need to be okay with not getting what they want when they want it in order to live within their means.

I am curious about OP’s kid and how OP feels about their budgeting.

Omg, no it’s not. You are literally avocado toasting.

It’s the $4k rent that goes up 10% a year. Auto insurance is out of control. If they have kids, daycare is basically legal extortion.

Rice a roni? How old are you exactly?

People go out because of financial nihilism — they have tried living frugal but realizing it’s a losing proposition, costs go up faster than you can save.

I’ve watched this a bunch of times now. Sometimes it goes fine and sometimes it doesn’t, more about the child than the parents strategy. But I think the worst is this occasional buying of things. Give adult children money or not, but make it cash and let them manage it. You can give them advice, sure.

Anonymous wrote:No. They are working so can decide if they want to buy a very used car or lease a small sedan. Neither choice is some sort of evil awful thing when you are a young person starting off. Dh and I did both scenarios (me very used, he leased) and now buy newer used cars cash. Don't let perfect wisdom of middle aged folks prevent your child from gaining autonomy on their own terms.

Post pandemic, reliable late model used cars retain too much value that buying used is a worse value than new when considering useful life of car vs cost per year over that life.

Buying new is like buying in bulk; it costs more upfront but is greater value. In the past it was different. It’s just a way to reduce cash flow, but not the best financial choice.

Also you can often get better financing terms on new vs used (we have a 2% rate and invest the cash we would have used).

Buying used is now a cash-flow decision, not a value decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they living within their means? Or can they not afford it because they eat out all the time, spend a ton of money on the best haircuts and clothes, drink a ton of alcohol. Do they know how to be frugal?

That would change my answer.

+1

Those darned youngsters and their avocado toast ways! If they are eating avocados don't you dare help them with a car!

I’m the pp and I’m laughing at the avocado toast, but you and I know it’s not just a brunch here and there. It’s a $7 coffee every day, it’s door dash 5 times a week, it’s having an expensive phone + max plan and 5 different streaming subscriptions…it’s all the things that add up. When I was first out of college I ate rice a roni and I didn’t go out like my peers did. I had plenty of fun, but I was frugal until I could afford not to be. People need to be okay with not getting what they want when they want it in order to live within their means.

I am curious about OP’s kid and how OP feels about their budgeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They can get a car loan like everyone else

+1
Also, what you do for one, you do for all. Don’t be THAT parent.

+2

Yes but I’d buy us a new car depending on the age of ours and give them the older one. But, I have one kid so less of an issue.

They should be able to buy that new car all on their own after all the help they got from you over the years.
If HCOL is indeed a problem, they need to budget better.
My 19- year old qualifies for his own car loan and makes enough to pay $600 a month while in school. I set him up well and it's still ongoing. Past age 25, he can ask for advice but not money. He lucky I don't ask for money.