Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 14:17     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do so many of you wait until this one annual Sunday to "catch up on rest" you should be negotiating with your spouse every weekend so that both of you have your rest time and personal time. There would be a lot less angst about this very special day if you managed the rest of the weekends better.


NP. My inlaws are 2 hours away and my mom is 15 min away. I don't need personal time on Mother's Day, but what most of us get is the complete opposite. I just don't have the energy to cook a massive meal for everyone, clean my entire house, make a gift by hand from my kids... DH definitely helps (he's our main cook) but we have 3 kids so anything we do requires both of us. And what I REALLY don't want to do is drive to MIL's house.

I actually would be content if mother's day didn't happen. I am annoyed if I have to do all the work, I'm guilty if I do nothing for mom/MIL. It's just a bad spot to be in. I enjoy being a mother and would just like a day with my kids.


Me again. I'm trying to send DH to MIL's for the day, but the kids wanted to spend it with me. They're preschool- early elementary aged. Nothing I ever do is going to be enough. I hate mother's day.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 14:15     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:Why do so many of you wait until this one annual Sunday to "catch up on rest" you should be negotiating with your spouse every weekend so that both of you have your rest time and personal time. There would be a lot less angst about this very special day if you managed the rest of the weekends better.


NP. My inlaws are 2 hours away and my mom is 15 min away. I don't need personal time on Mother's Day, but what most of us get is the complete opposite. I just don't have the energy to cook a massive meal for everyone, clean my entire house, make a gift by hand from my kids... DH definitely helps (he's our main cook) but we have 3 kids so anything we do requires both of us. And what I REALLY don't want to do is drive to MIL's house.

I actually would be content if mother's day didn't happen. I am annoyed if I have to do all the work, I'm guilty if I do nothing for mom/MIL. It's just a bad spot to be in. I enjoy being a mother and would just like a day with my kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 14:10     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.

As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day).


Isn't the day to celebrate "you" your birthday?


And isn't the day to celebrate MIL, her birthday?
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 14:09     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.

As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day).


Isn't the day to celebrate "you" your birthday?


Me as a mother as opposed to my MIL or me celebrating my mother doing what they want to do. If you don't want to celebrate mother's day or be acknowledged in a way that feels genuine to you as a person, that's up to you.


There's nothing remotely genuine about demeaning a command performance on a Hallmark holiday.


Uh, what??
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 12:43     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Usually, we go over to MIL's at some point in the day, or sometimes we meet for brunch. Some years, I send dh and the kids to MIL's when I just want to do nothing.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 11:02     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:Why do so many of you wait until this one annual Sunday to "catch up on rest" you should be negotiating with your spouse every weekend so that both of you have your rest time and personal time. There would be a lot less angst about this very special day if you managed the rest of the weekends better.


Exactly this. There’s nothing really that I want for Mother’s Day (including rest) because my family provides that for me throughout the year (and I for my DH). I will spend time on my hobby this Sunday, as I do most weekends at some point.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 11:00     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sending DH and kids to MILs in the AM while I do wtf I want, then kids, DH and I are going to my fave restaurant for dinner. I'll send her a card.


Nice, lemonade served.


I’m so jealous. I don’t have the nerve to do this.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 10:06     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.

As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day).


Isn't the day to celebrate "you" your birthday?


Me as a mother as opposed to my MIL or me celebrating my mother doing what they want to do. If you don't want to celebrate mother's day or be acknowledged in a way that feels genuine to you as a person, that's up to you.


There's nothing remotely genuine about demeaning a command performance on a Hallmark holiday.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 10:05     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Why do so many of you wait until this one annual Sunday to "catch up on rest" you should be negotiating with your spouse every weekend so that both of you have your rest time and personal time. There would be a lot less angst about this very special day if you managed the rest of the weekends better.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 10:04     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.

As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day).


Isn't the day to celebrate "you" your birthday?


Me as a mother as opposed to my MIL or me celebrating my mother doing what they want to do. If you don't want to celebrate mother's day or be acknowledged in a way that feels genuine to you as a person, that's up to you.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 09:56     Subject: Re:If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Not my MIL but I’ve always lived near my mom and until she died, my grandmother. So for me, Mother’s Day has never been about me having a day all to myself. It’s never bothered me but it’s just so different seeing everyone want these grand experiences. I’m a pretty low key person in general though.

My DH and kids have always given me cards and shown appreciation and for me that’s plenty. My one rule is that I don’t cook or do any household tasks that day.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 09:51     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
I don’t think you have your take some huge stand. Just tell your husband that this year you plan your stay home and catch up on rest. He can take the kids to his mom’s house if he wants to and you will see them later. And “by the way, you should grab her a card or gift if you plan to bring one.”

Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 09:23     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:I'm sending DH and kids to MILs in the AM while I do wtf I want, then kids, DH and I are going to my fave restaurant for dinner. I'll send her a card.


Nice, lemonade served.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 07:47     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Anonymous wrote:I do want a day to celebrate me, but I don't care when it is. So long as my DH and kids have planned a day/meal to celebrate me, I'm ok with going to MIL/mother's to celebrate them. In my MIL's case, she will certainly choose an activity I do NOT want to do on Mother's Day. So, I tell myself this isn't my Mother's Day and I'm 100% fine with it. I don't need to cause a scene. Now, if DH/kids tried to act like MIL's mother's day activity was also MY Mother's Day, I would have a big issue.

As an aside - I would stop managing her gift. That's for DH to do. In our family, DH does all the mothers day cards/gifts and I do all the Father's Day ones (ie, DH does not need to coordinate anything for father's day).


Isn't the day to celebrate "you" your birthday?
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2026 07:45     Subject: If you live close to the in-laws, what does your mother's day look like?
Your children knows mothers day is about you. Showing respect and honour to their grandmother solidifies that. She will die and you can have your glory.