Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 22:02     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Million dollar house…stop aready.


Based on what OP said, she bought her house a long time ago for under 400k, which means real estate appreciated substantially. Pretty common around DC, people buying modest brick colonials for 380k and now worth $1+M.

I'm sympathetic to OP's situation because I'm now at the point where the investments, both retirement and personal accounts, are generating more yields than my income. It's a weird feeling. And it also means most of it is tied up and not easily accessible without paying a lot of taxes.

I will say I am having frank discussions with my AI financial advisor who points out the diminishing utility of still saving money out of current income versus enjoying it now. I'm still 20 years from retirement.

OP could stop contributing any more to her investment accounts and cash flow plus the 300k she has saved for college, and could probably make it work out.


Curious about "AI financial advisor?"


Clearly ChatGpt or similar
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 22:02     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.


They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.


This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.


Many of us gave our thoughts on this. Did you expect a universal 100% yes it’s worth it? You aren’t going to get that.


Not at all. I just was surprised that so many people seemed to instead want to discuss whether I could afford it based on not paying attention to the info i originally provided. Tbh, I’m at least 70 percent in the camp of there being no need to spend money unnecessarily, particularly as it seems in many cases state flagships can arguably offer just as good or better education. But that 30 percent is trying to work out the best choice for my kid in the hypothetical that we don’t discourage an application and he gets in.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:40     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:I work at a highly selective graduate program (think med school, bschool, or law school) and I can tell you that it absolutely matters where your kid goes to undergrad. We look at an applicant who attended a highly selectively university differently than we do someone who did not. Obviously it is not the only metric we pay attention, to but all things being equal, we look at a kid who went to Stanford differently than a kid who attended Chico state school. This is also very true when we are hiring faculty. So if you can afford it , send your kid to the best school that they get into.


So true. Had lunch not long ago with my former boss. She was asking about my kids' college choices and encouraging me not to get stuck on name brand.s I asked her "when you hired me, I had been home with kids for 6 years. And while my skills were applicable to the job, I really didn't have direct experience. Why did you hire me? Was it maybe because I had the names of 3 top top universities, including Stanford, on my resume?" And she admitted that of course that was a huge factor. Grad schools and employers assume that if you're smart enough for Stanford, you'll figure the job out.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:37     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Million dollar house…stop aready.


Based on what OP said, she bought her house a long time ago for under 400k, which means real estate appreciated substantially. Pretty common around DC, people buying modest brick colonials for 380k and now worth $1+M.

I'm sympathetic to OP's situation because I'm now at the point where the investments, both retirement and personal accounts, are generating more yields than my income. It's a weird feeling. And it also means most of it is tied up and not easily accessible without paying a lot of taxes.

I will say I am having frank discussions with my AI financial advisor who points out the diminishing utility of still saving money out of current income versus enjoying it now. I'm still 20 years from retirement.

OP could stop contributing any more to her investment accounts and cash flow plus the 300k she has saved for college, and could probably make it work out.


Curious about "AI financial advisor?"
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:18     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.


They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.


This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.


Many of us gave our thoughts on this. Did you expect a universal 100% yes it’s worth it? You aren’t going to get that.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:16     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:I work at a highly selective graduate program (think med school, bschool, or law school) and I can tell you that it absolutely matters where your kid goes to undergrad. We look at an applicant who attended a highly selectively university differently than we do someone who did not. Obviously it is not the only metric we pay attention, to but all things being equal, we look at a kid who went to Stanford differently than a kid who attended Chico state school. This is also very true when we are hiring faculty. So if you can afford it , send your kid to the best school that they get into.


Interesting. How do you compare a bottom of the pack kid from Stanford with a student who excelled - top of their class - at a state flagship? Doesn’t the latter show more grit?
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:16     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

I think Ivy league schools and other very highly selective schools like Stanford, Georgetown, Vassar, Tufts, MIT, Cal, etc are worth it. Seeing those schools on resumes makes them go to the top of the interview list and the alumni networks are also very robust. If you can afford it and your kid can get it, why would you deprive your kid of that door-opening advantage?
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:14     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Million dollar house…stop aready.


Based on what OP said, she bought her house a long time ago for under 400k, which means real estate appreciated substantially. Pretty common around DC, people buying modest brick colonials for 380k and now worth $1+M.

I'm sympathetic to OP's situation because I'm now at the point where the investments, both retirement and personal accounts, are generating more yields than my income. It's a weird feeling. And it also means most of it is tied up and not easily accessible without paying a lot of taxes.

I will say I am having frank discussions with my AI financial advisor who points out the diminishing utility of still saving money out of current income versus enjoying it now. I'm still 20 years from retirement.

OP could stop contributing any more to her investment accounts and cash flow plus the 300k she has saved for college, and could probably make it work out.


Yep, paid less than $250k for my now $1.3m home.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 21:10     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.


They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.


This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 18:44     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I work at a highly selective graduate program (think med school, bschool, or law school) and I can tell you that it absolutely matters where your kid goes to undergrad. We look at an applicant who attended a highly selectively university differently than we do someone who did not. Obviously it is not the only metric we pay attention, to but all things being equal, we look at a kid who went to Stanford differently than a kid who attended Chico state school. This is also very true when we are hiring faculty. So if you can afford it , send your kid to the best school that they get into.


I’m the PP above you and I too worked at a T10 grad school in admissions. While it’s true that we discounted Hollywood upstairs colleges, we did not discriminate against kids who went to state flagships. We were more than happy with high stats kids from Michigan, Virginia, Maryland, Cal, UNC, Wisconsin and so on.


Sounds about right. The first PP is batshit crazy.

Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 18:38     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:I work at a highly selective graduate program (think med school, bschool, or law school) and I can tell you that it absolutely matters where your kid goes to undergrad. We look at an applicant who attended a highly selectively university differently than we do someone who did not. Obviously it is not the only metric we pay attention, to but all things being equal, we look at a kid who went to Stanford differently than a kid who attended Chico state school. This is also very true when we are hiring faculty. So if you can afford it , send your kid to the best school that they get into.


I’m the PP above you and I too worked at a T10 grad school in admissions. While it’s true that we discounted Hollywood upstairs colleges, we did not discriminate against kids who went to state flagships. We were more than happy with high stats kids from Michigan, Virginia, Maryland, Cal, UNC, Wisconsin and so on.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 18:28     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

I work at a highly selective graduate program (think med school, bschool, or law school) and I can tell you that it absolutely matters where your kid goes to undergrad. We look at an applicant who attended a highly selectively university differently than we do someone who did not. Obviously it is not the only metric we pay attention, to but all things being equal, we look at a kid who went to Stanford differently than a kid who attended Chico state school. This is also very true when we are hiring faculty. So if you can afford it , send your kid to the best school that they get into.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 17:04     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We did not apply to expensive privates. We are in VA and had our children apply ED to UVA or W&M. (One chose one and one chose the other.) The backup plan was out of state public bit thankfully both kids were admitted ED.

No regrets. NW is $6M+.


The question isn’t about any expensive privates, it’s about Ivies. If your kids had the achievements that would have made them a good candidate for Ivies would you have paid for them if they got in? With $6m net worth you could definitely afford it.


No. I don’t think it’s worth it and I will die on that hill. Maybe for a few select majors top Ivies or MIT are worth it. Maybe. But those aren’t the majors my kids were interested in. Neither do they want to live in NY or CA. Even DC is questionable. DH went to law school at a T10. Many of his classmates were very stuck up and obsessed with prestige. Many also showed up to law school with substantial debt from places like Brown and Dartmouth. Additionally I don’t think it ultimately changed the trajectory of his life vs a T25 or T30 law school. We both went to state flagship undergrad. Things worked out just fine.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 15:36     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:Million dollar house…stop aready.


Based on what OP said, she bought her house a long time ago for under 400k, which means real estate appreciated substantially. Pretty common around DC, people buying modest brick colonials for 380k and now worth $1+M.

I'm sympathetic to OP's situation because I'm now at the point where the investments, both retirement and personal accounts, are generating more yields than my income. It's a weird feeling. And it also means most of it is tied up and not easily accessible without paying a lot of taxes.

I will say I am having frank discussions with my AI financial advisor who points out the diminishing utility of still saving money out of current income versus enjoying it now. I'm still 20 years from retirement.

OP could stop contributing any more to her investment accounts and cash flow plus the 300k she has saved for college, and could probably make it work out.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2026 13:35     Subject: College applications -- apply to $$$$ schools or not?

Anonymous wrote:We have similar stats (including $ saved for 2 kids' college) but are late-40s. We told DS that we would pull out of investments etc to pay for a top 20 school. If they get themselves into one of those, we will make it work, because honestly , we can, and so can you. But, it's not worth it below that level to me, so DS is clear on that. If he has his heart set on a T50 school that costs $90k, he will have to figure it out, because we will pay for the best in-state option or whatever will come out to about $50k/year. He understands the value of money and he agrees with that outlook.


This is a good and well-reasoned approach and also gives the kid clear guidance and parameters. Well done!