Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Rejection is a part of life, but public rejection does not need to be. If your company is doing layoffs, do they line everyone up and publicly announce who gets to keep their job? If you don’t think that would be appropriate for adults, why do you think it would be appropriate for children?

Please stop. This is a ridiculous comment. This happens at most tryouts where players are moved to their respective teams in front of all of the other candidates. I’m sorry your DC was cut or moved down. They will be better for it in the long run. Teaching moment - it will teach them to persevere.

You stop. You know nothing about child development or psychology. There is no benefit to being rejected in front of peers. I know of what I speak. That is not a growth experience; it’s an experience that causes shame. The teaching moment can happen through a conversation between the parent/coach and player when they get cut or moved down. You need to separate the rejection from the public aspect of it. I’m sorry for your children that you are raising them with such little awareness of things that can affect them greatly.

I am not that parent and I don’t have a psychology degree but I am a little disappointed in this response if you are a professional. My kid is only 11 and has read Victor Frankie “Man’s Search for Meaning.” They understand that any circumstance in their life depends on how they interpret it. My kid does not feel shame because they don’t allow something as silly as an A team and B team determine their worth. They know that any evaluation: grades, tryouts, standardized test, school acceptances, etc. are evaluations at a certain point in time and have no bearing on who they are as people. If they want a different outcome, they must evaluate what they are doing and change. If your child feels shame due to the actions of others, that is a parenting issue that you can now change if you weren’t aware before.

I have a doctorate in psychology and your sample size of one does not refute the research on the impact of public rejection in children. Nor did you address the public aspect of the rejection, which is the problem here (not the rejection itself). Any clinical psychologist would agree that what was described here is not at all developmentally appropriate. While it may not be something that would bother your child, we know from research that public rejection is experienced by some kids as humiliation, which can then lead to feelings of shame. It’s a bad practice for anyone who cares about kids’ well-being. It is not a weakness to feel humiliated; it’s a normal human emotion. While it’s inevitable at some point in life, adults should not take actions that actively contribute to it.

Oh boy, a doctorate! Psychologists are nuts anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Loudoun parents, JC is awful.

Buckle up! Will be a long season.

It can’t get any worse. The team is already in shambles. They’ve been getting rocked in tournaments and league play.

Correct. They are a 2nd tier team whose coach is probably too stubborn to let them play at the appropriate level, and has accordingly set them up to fail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Rejection is a part of life, but public rejection does not need to be. If your company is doing layoffs, do they line everyone up and publicly announce who gets to keep their job? If you don’t think that would be appropriate for adults, why do you think it would be appropriate for children?

Please stop. This is a ridiculous comment. This happens at most tryouts where players are moved to their respective teams in front of all of the other candidates. I’m sorry your DC was cut or moved down. They will be better for it in the long run. Teaching moment - it will teach them to persevere.

You stop. You know nothing about child development or psychology. There is no benefit to being rejected in front of peers. I know of what I speak. That is not a growth experience; it’s an experience that causes shame. The teaching moment can happen through a conversation between the parent/coach and player when they get cut or moved down. You need to separate the rejection from the public aspect of it. I’m sorry for your children that you are raising them with such little awareness of things that can affect them greatly.

I am not that parent and I don’t have a psychology degree but I am a little disappointed in this response if you are a professional. My kid is only 11 and has read Victor Frankie “Man’s Search for Meaning.” They understand that any circumstance in their life depends on how they interpret it. My kid does not feel shame because they don’t allow something as silly as an A team and B team determine their worth. They know that any evaluation: grades, tryouts, standardized test, school acceptances, etc. are evaluations at a certain point in time and have no bearing on who they are as people. If they want a different outcome, they must evaluate what they are doing and change. If your child feels shame due to the actions of others, that is a parenting issue that you can now change if you weren’t aware before.

I have a doctorate in psychology and your sample size of one does not refute the research on the impact of public rejection in children. Nor did you address the public aspect of the rejection, which is the problem here (not the rejection itself). Any clinical psychologist would agree that what was described here is not at all developmentally appropriate. While it may not be something that would bother your child, we know from research that public rejection is experienced by some kids as humiliation, which can then lead to feelings of shame. It’s a bad practice for anyone who cares about kids’ well-being. It is not a weakness to feel humiliated; it’s a normal human emotion. While it’s inevitable at some point in life, adults should not take actions that actively contribute to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Loudoun parents, JC is awful.

Buckle up! Will be a long season.

It can’t get any worse. The team is already in shambles. They’ve been getting rocked in tournaments and league play.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Rejection is a part of life, but public rejection does not need to be. If your company is doing layoffs, do they line everyone up and publicly announce who gets to keep their job? If you don’t think that would be appropriate for adults, why do you think it would be appropriate for children?

Please stop. This is a ridiculous comment. This happens at most tryouts where players are moved to their respective teams in front of all of the other candidates. I’m sorry your DC was cut or moved down. They will be better for it in the long run. Teaching moment - it will teach them to persevere.

You stop. You know nothing about child development or psychology. There is no benefit to being rejected in front of peers. I know of what I speak. That is not a growth experience; it’s an experience that causes shame. The teaching moment can happen through a conversation between the parent/coach and player when they get cut or moved down. You need to separate the rejection from the public aspect of it. I’m sorry for your children that you are raising them with such little awareness of things that can affect them greatly.

I am not that parent and I don’t have a psychology degree but I am a little disappointed in this response if you are a professional. My kid is only 11 and has read Victor Frankie “Man’s Search for Meaning.” They understand that any circumstance in their life depends on how they interpret it. My kid does not feel shame because they don’t allow something as silly as an A team and B team determine their worth. They know that any evaluation: grades, tryouts, standardized test, school acceptances, etc. are evaluations at a certain point in time and have no bearing on who they are as people. If they want a different outcome, they must evaluate what they are doing and change. If your child feels shame due to the actions of others, that is a parenting issue that you can now change if you weren’t aware before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Rejection is a part of life, but public rejection does not need to be. If your company is doing layoffs, do they line everyone up and publicly announce who gets to keep their job? If you don’t think that would be appropriate for adults, why do you think it would be appropriate for children?

Please stop. This is a ridiculous comment. This happens at most tryouts where players are moved to their respective teams in front of all of the other candidates. I’m sorry your DC was cut or moved down. They will be better for it in the long run. Teaching moment - it will teach them to persevere.

You stop. You know nothing about child development or psychology. There is no benefit to being rejected in front of peers. I know of what I speak. That is not a growth experience; it’s an experience that causes shame. The teaching moment can happen through a conversation between the parent/coach and player when they get cut or moved down. You need to separate the rejection from the public aspect of it. I’m sorry for your children that you are raising them with such little awareness of things that can affect them greatly.

I am not that parent and I don’t have a psychology degree but I am a little disappointed in this response if you are a professional. My kid is only 11 and has read Victor Frankie “Man’s Search for Meaning.” They understand that any circumstance in their life depends on how they interpret it. My kid does not feel shame because they don’t allow something as silly as an A team and B team determine their worth. They know that any evaluation: grades, tryouts, standardized test, school acceptances, etc. are evaluations at a certain point in time and have no bearing on who they are as people. If they want a different outcome, they must evaluate what they are doing and change. If your child feels shame due to the actions of others, that is a parenting issue that you can now change if you weren’t aware before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Loudoun parents, JC is awful.

Buckle up! Will be a long season.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Rejection is a part of life, but public rejection does not need to be. If your company is doing layoffs, do they line everyone up and publicly announce who gets to keep their job? If you don’t think that would be appropriate for adults, why do you think it would be appropriate for children?

Please stop. This is a ridiculous comment. This happens at most tryouts where players are moved to their respective teams in front of all of the other candidates. I’m sorry your DC was cut or moved down. They will be better for it in the long run. Teaching moment - it will teach them to persevere.

You stop. You know nothing about child development or psychology. There is no benefit to being rejected in front of peers. I know of what I speak. That is not a growth experience; it’s an experience that causes shame. The teaching moment can happen through a conversation between the parent/coach and player when they get cut or moved down. You need to separate the rejection from the public aspect of it. I’m sorry for your children that you are raising them with such little awareness of things that can affect them greatly.

I am not that parent and I don’t have a psychology degree but I am a little disappointed in this response if you are a professional. My kid is only 11 and has read Victor Frankie “Man’s Search for Meaning.” They understand that any circumstance in their life depends on how they interpret it. My kid does not feel shame because they don’t allow something as silly as an A team and B team determine their worth. They know that any evaluation: grades, tryouts, standardized test, school acceptances, etc. are evaluations at a certain point in time and have no bearing on who they are as people. If they want a different outcome, they must evaluate what they are doing and change. If your child feels shame due to the actions of others, that is a parenting issue that you can now change if you weren’t aware before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Rejection is a part of life, but public rejection does not need to be. If your company is doing layoffs, do they line everyone up and publicly announce who gets to keep their job? If you don’t think that would be appropriate for adults, why do you think it would be appropriate for children?

Please stop. This is a ridiculous comment. This happens at most tryouts where players are moved to their respective teams in front of all of the other candidates. I’m sorry your DC was cut or moved down. They will be better for it in the long run. Teaching moment - it will teach them to persevere.

You stop. You know nothing about child development or psychology. There is no benefit to being rejected in front of peers. I know of what I speak. That is not a growth experience; it’s an experience that causes shame. The teaching moment can happen through a conversation between the parent/coach and player when they get cut or moved down. You need to separate the rejection from the public aspect of it. I’m sorry for your children that you are raising them with such little awareness of things that can affect them greatly.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Loudoun parents, JC is awful.

Anonymous wrote:The Loudoun tryouts were a joke. We only attended day 2. The coaches weren’t even paying attention. My son advanced up 3 teams throughout the night. He scored 5 goals on the 3rd scrimmage… the coach had his back turned and missed all 5 of them. It’s as if they already knew what the teams were and gave zero F’s about anyone new trying out. There was one scrimmage of 11v11 on a quarter sized field, the same sized field rec kids play 4v4 on and the coach was yelling at the boys to stop bunching up. Bro, there’s no space for them to spread out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hearing it third hand, so take it for what it is worth. But apparently they made their roster selections last night at the end of tryouts - in front of everybody!!

Great way to make a handful of kids happy while absolutely crushing the spirits and embarrassing dozens of others! Believe it was either u11 or u12. Can’t imagine how those kids felt if they were going down or didn’t make a team.

How horribly run do you need to be to think that’s a good idea?!

Can confirm. But it was limited.

New guy who is top team coach made his selections in front of others. Did so right after the top field tryout ended and everybody came over.

Only impacted a small # with 13 or 14 very happy kids and at least 2 or 3 we saw in tears or close to it who apparently weren’t selected and were being pushed off first team in process witnessed by their current teammates.

Was a shi**y thing to do.

Is it JC who came over from Valor? I heard the Valor parents were very happy to see him leave.