Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.

False.

You have kids for you, not to give your kids siblings who may or may not get along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.

False.

You have kids for you, not to give your kids siblings who may or may not get along.

Disagree. Combat the loneliness epidemic. Teach your kids to develop healthy relationships and not alienate each other over petty grievances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s SO much better to want one more than one fewer. You have some bandwidth now - great!! Do something else with it - go for a promotion at work, volunteer, adopt a dog, something.

Amen. I think when you already have three and a bigger gap, you have to think of the impact it will have on the kids who are already here.

Yall. I have so many siblings and they are the BEST thing, even though it meant less $$ to go around. Siblings are a support network for life. It is soooo much more important to have them than to have better clothes and a Disney trip. Think about old age for your kids, not just the size of the pile of Christmas presents they’ll get over the next few years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.

False.

You have kids for you, not to give your kids siblings who may or may not get along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s SO much better to want one more than one fewer. You have some bandwidth now - great!! Do something else with it - go for a promotion at work, volunteer, adopt a dog, something.

Amen. I think when you already have three and a bigger gap, you have to think of the impact it will have on the kids who are already here.

Yall. I have so many siblings and they are the BEST thing, even though it meant less $$ to go around. Siblings are a support network for life. It is soooo much more important to have them than to have better clothes and a Disney trip. Think about old age for your kids, not just the size of the pile of Christmas presents they’ll get over the next few years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s SO much better to want one more than one fewer. You have some bandwidth now - great!! Do something else with it - go for a promotion at work, volunteer, adopt a dog, something.

Amen. I think when you already have three and a bigger gap, you have to think of the impact it will have on the kids who are already here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s SO much better to want one more than one fewer. You have some bandwidth now - great!! Do something else with it - go for a promotion at work, volunteer, adopt a dog, something.

Amen. I think when you already have three and a bigger gap, you have to think of the impact it will have on the kids who are already here.

Anonymous wrote:It’s SO much better to want one more than one fewer. You have some bandwidth now - great!! Do something else with it - go for a promotion at work, volunteer, adopt a dog, something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know plenty of women with big families in the DMV; they aren’t well represented on this board though. My mom had a bunch of kids and I’m so grateful for that. The sibling who is far younger than I am (by nine years) is all our favorite sib and she rocks! Materially, we didn’t have a lot of cash. My parents were often in debt. But not having nice clothes or a fancy wedding didn’t make us sad. We grew up like most Americans and things usually worked out. I didn’t even know I was “lower” middle class until I went to college and saw the wealth that others took for granted. I’ll take relationships over materialism any day. I saw that privileged backgrounds didn’t make my peers happy or emotionally well. That has informed my own approach to parenting. My kids are currently begging for a sixth. I’ve thought a lot about the arguments that ARE well represented here (resource issues, division of time, not being able to keep up with the activity culture, special needs, etc.) and I realize those aren’t relevant for my situation. I’m blessed with health and a great job so I’m going to make a less obvious choice…just be open to having more kids. When it comes to time spent per kid, I think people overestimate how much time older kids take and need and want from their parents (minus the driving—the chauffeuring is tough!). (I know I didn’t want my parents breathing down my neck once I hit a certain age. In junior high and high school, my only child friends were always trying to hang out with my family and get away from their parents!) Also, my kids love being with each other, all piling on my lap to read a book. We have fun together. We try to do one on one time, and it all works out. All to say, all sizes of family are beautiful. But I think sometimes some people prematurely opt out of more kids or make a permanent family planning decision out of shifting fears that aren’t relevant to them or are overblown. It’s ok to not want another at age 42, but you are consciously making that decision.

For many paying for college, activites, etc for that many kids is very hard and its not fair to force kisd to take loans. Teens need more time, but they know not to ask in large families. You over generalize about only kids. My only barely has time to hang out between school and activities. Yours must be be in lots of activities.

Anonymous wrote:I know plenty of women with big families in the DMV; they aren’t well represented on this board though. My mom had a bunch of kids and I’m so grateful for that. The sibling who is far younger than I am (by nine years) is all our favorite sib and she rocks! Materially, we didn’t have a lot of cash. My parents were often in debt. But not having nice clothes or a fancy wedding didn’t make us sad. We grew up like most Americans and things usually worked out. I didn’t even know I was “lower” middle class until I went to college and saw the wealth that others took for granted. I’ll take relationships over materialism any day. I saw that privileged backgrounds didn’t make my peers happy or emotionally well. That has informed my own approach to parenting. My kids are currently begging for a sixth. I’ve thought a lot about the arguments that ARE well represented here (resource issues, division of time, not being able to keep up with the activity culture, special needs, etc.) and I realize those aren’t relevant for my situation. I’m blessed with health and a great job so I’m going to make a less obvious choice…just be open to having more kids. When it comes to time spent per kid, I think people overestimate how much time older kids take and need and want from their parents (minus the driving—the chauffeuring is tough!). (I know I didn’t want my parents breathing down my neck once I hit a certain age. In junior high and high school, my only child friends were always trying to hang out with my family and get away from their parents!) Also, my kids love being with each other, all piling on my lap to read a book. We have fun together. We try to do one on one time, and it all works out. All to say, all sizes of family are beautiful. But I think sometimes some people prematurely opt out of more kids or make a permanent family planning decision out of shifting fears that aren’t relevant to them or are overblown. It’s ok to not want another at age 42, but you are consciously making that decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.

False.

You have kids for you, not to give your kids siblings who may or may not get along.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.

False.

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but am resolutely stopping at 2 because I know it would negatively impact the two I have. Older children do not really want or benefit from another much younger sibling.