When I was in my 20’s I had a phase of dating older men. It was fun and mutually beneficial. This seems like the same thing. I wasn’t ready to settle down and they didn’t want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find most much younger men who hit on me weird or kind of not sane intellectual development. And because it’s important for me to connect intellectually to be sexually attracted to a man, I would rather be single

+1. My impression of most millennial men too. They’re by and large an odd bunch.

Thanks for your opinion on an entire generation of men who are clearly all the same.

Anonymous wrote:Oooooh, the comments on this are good especially on social media. The middle-aged men are sheepishly quiet.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/16/opinion/younger-men-dating-older-women.html

My view? Both parties want low drama. The woman in her mid 40s already has a house, kids, her own money - she doesn't want a guy with baggage. The younger guy in his early 30s is avoiding the pressure put on by his peers to have babies, buy the house, go for the brass ring.

Everyone is avoidant.

You mean, the older women have already had children and / or tried marriage that didn't work, so just want so companionship / sex occasionally. And that the younger men are avoidant and don't want any responsibility.

Huh, the older women in my circle acknowledge Gen Z are attractive but need to work on their masculinity.

There are lots of women who are attractive in their 40s. And pretty much any single man in their 20s and 30s finds no strings attached sex appealing. The supply and demand is clearly there.

You could reverse it too. Lots of men are handsome and fit in their 40s. And lots of women in their 20s and 30s are happy to have a fling.

As for an actual relationship, big age differences are usually a problem. People are in different stages in life and usually like to find someone on the same page. But if an attractive man or woman in their 40s just wants something casual with a younger person, it isn’t all that difficult, especially for older women who take good care of themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oooooh, the comments on this are good especially on social media. The middle-aged men are sheepishly quiet.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/16/opinion/younger-men-dating-older-women.html

My view? Both parties want low drama. The woman in her mid 40s already has a house, kids, her own money - she doesn't want a guy with baggage. The younger guy in his early 30s is avoiding the pressure put on by his peers to have babies, buy the house, go for the brass ring.

Everyone is avoidant.

Unless the kids are grown, kids and custody and everything that comes with it IS baggage.

She's not introducing her kids to the early 30s FWB. He has no desire to meet her kids. They are making the most of her 50-50 custody.

I don't think you get it. For him, "baggage" is the pressure to marry and have babies and be a providers. His late 40s divorced FWB already did all that and doesn't want it again.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like being in same age group, sharing same phases of life, building a life from scratch, raising kids and aging together made our bond stronger and life more enjoyable.

I think some women like the ego boost it gives them.

Anonymous wrote:Oooooh, the comments on this are good especially on social media. The middle-aged men are sheepishly quiet.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/16/opinion/younger-men-dating-older-women.html

My view? Both parties want low drama. The woman in her mid 40s already has a house, kids, her own money - she doesn't want a guy with baggage. The younger guy in his early 30s is avoiding the pressure put on by his peers to have babies, buy the house, go for the brass ring.

Everyone is avoidant.

Unless the kids are grown, kids and custody and everything that comes with it IS baggage.

Anonymous wrote:I am in my 40s and still get mistaken by people in their 20s for being their age.

If I were single, I would probably go younger. I feel younger men are more open-minded overall and I am more attracted to them.

Nobody is actually mistaking you for being in your 20s.

I can't imagine marrying a 40 year old man in my 20's or having a 70 year old husband in my 50's.

I feel like being in same age group, sharing same phases of life, building a life from scratch, raising kids and aging together made our bond stronger and life more enjoyable.

Anonymous wrote:I find most much younger men who hit on me weird or kind of not sane intellectual development. And because it’s important for me to connect intellectually to be sexually attracted to a man, I would rather be single

+1. My impression of most millennial men too. They’re by and large an odd bunch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find most much younger men who hit on me weird or kind of not sane intellectual development. And because it’s important for me to connect intellectually to be sexually attracted to a man, I would rather be single

How old are these guys? That has not been my experience.

I can elaborate my first dates experiences with younger men (didn’t go beyond one interaction as I was disgusted or not attracted):

#1 27 yo was fat, short and really horny and my client who hit on me at my job. An IT guy who was making tons of money but unattractive. Continued texting me obscene messages until I blocked him
#2 37 yo hit on me at a museum . Very hot looking, a designer. No common interests, permanent job, gamer and gambler, no earning capacity to ask me out on a date. Blocked him after coffee intro after he offered me to resell me soccer tickets
#3 really hot investment banker middle eastern 34 yo. Got me an uber for first date, paid for luxurious lunch where he started telling me I don’t eat the right way and he wants to smash the dessert all over my face and lick it off. That I will ge his hot model girlfriend and wife that he’ll own and I will only submit to him and serve his needs. His mom, wife, lover, cook, secretary, caretaker all in one and no kids ever so I could only focus on HIM. Pulled me close to kiss passionately without my consent as we walked on the street. Kept sending sexualized creepy messages until I blocked him
#4 a 39 yo dreamer who didn’t drive, loved art, owned a bakery and wanted to retire at 49 to write poems and live in a remote forest cabin with me as his romantic muse. No kids I only belong to him and we have a passionate sex life.

I can keep going but you can see why I didn’t keep seeing them. They were mostly good looking but I’m don’t f..k men just for their bodies

There is a fundamental difference how men and women fall in love. Men are comfortable just having the bodies they don’t care to connect emotionally . I need a full package

Anonymous wrote:My brother, the eternal bachelor, told me that dating older women "takes the pressure off." They either already have children or don't want any. They have money from a previous marriage, established career or both. Almost all have been married before so not trying to get a man to put a ring on it. They know how to run their household and don't wait around for a guy to entertain them. They also are experienced sexually and appreciate a younger guy who can keep up.

This

Anonymous wrote:doesnt mano pause kill women libido

I am 48. I am not in menopause. There’s also another woman commenting who is also 48.

I had zero Sex Dr. when I was married in my 30s I really don’t have that much of a sex drive now either so it hasn’t changed that much. I think men are the ones who have more of a sex drive but when I see men, I see younger men I don’t see these men my own age there’s no point because I’m not ever getting into a serious relationship again and I don’t want people always asking. What next steps are a lot of early 30s men don’t want to get married yet so it’s perfect