Anonymous wrote:Totally fine in my opinion.

Something we did with my kids was run through what to do in bad scenarios. That had to show me where the fire extinguisher and fire blankets were. They knew not to answer the door. And they knew not to microwave metal or microwave at all while I was out.

Is that really what you want your 8 year old doing if they are alone in a fire? Try to put it out? Instead of just leaving?

Anonymous wrote:I would allow it to.

What I would not allow, is a constant argument over it twice a day for the last year. Thats crazy.

+1

Yes, it's totally fine. Especially if you give her an activity to do for that 15-20 minutes (mine would like to make bracelets, or color, or heck, even watch a tv show).

My biggest concern here would be due to dad pushing for more custody due to lack of supervision, if the child is mature enough to follow the rules for staying home alone. Precisely why OP needs to talk to the father.

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her that the fighting is a sign that she doesn't have the self control and maturity to be trusted. If she can fix that consistently, and help make the mornings and afternoons run smoothly for the rest of this school year she can ask you again about the fall. But if she continues to fight or whine, the answer will continue to be no.

I don't negotiate with small terrorists. Her fighting you shouldn't lead to her getting what she wants.

I would also agree with PP who said that dad should be consulted, especially as he only lives a few blocks away.

Yes

Why is this even a question? Why wouldn’t you do this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for those of you saying no- do you let them play outside by themselves?

Only in our backyard with lots of check ins. Too many bad things happen and it's not worth the risk. These kids have two parents and parents need to change up the schedule and work together.

Your 8 yr old is only allowed to play outside on their own in their own backyard with lots of checkins? JFC that generation is effed.

Anonymous wrote:Totally fine in my opinion.

Something we did with my kids was run through what to do in bad scenarios. That had to show me where the fire extinguisher and fire blankets were. They knew not to answer the door. And they knew not to microwave metal or microwave at all while I was out.

These are the conversations I had with my kids as well. And 8 was around when I started leaving my older one at home for short periods of time.

No stove/oven/toaster, no shower/bath. No playing outside. If she’s getting herself dressed and brushing her hair and teeth, then I’d do it. I’d make sure she knows about 911 and I’d let the dad know. Go over scenarios like if there’s a fire or a stranger knocking. Ask her not to tell anyone outside the family like her friends at school.

Let her keep a phone near her so you can reach her if, say, you get a flat tire and are going to be delayed. It’ll also give her the comfort that she can reach you if she needs to.

Anonymous wrote:I would not. Think of what could happen and how you would defend yourself in court having left her alone at home. I also would not put up with a fight about it. Adults make the rules and children follow them.

I would pull the statistics that show she is more likely to be hurt in a car wreck if I took her with me than the house suddenly catching on fire or an intruder break in. I don’t parent based on totally ridiculous inabilities to assess risk.

Anonymous wrote:Of course. 8 year olds (neurotypical with atleast an average IQ) are perfectly capable of staying home alone for an hour or two, let alone 15 minutes. My stepdaughter wasn’t the most mature 8 year old, but she handled an hour before school and an hour after school at that age.

Totally agree. I have a child with profound intellectual disability. If some gene therapy comes along that allows her to function like a neurotypical 8 year old, she would live on her own with some light supervision, take a bus and have a job. Nothing has been as enlightening as to the infantilization of typical children as having a child who literally cannot grow up.

Anonymous wrote:I would not. Think of what could happen and how you would defend yourself in court having left her alone at home. I also would not put up with a fight about it. Adults make the rules and children follow them.

Were you alive in the 70's and 80's? My mom left for work at 8am, when I was in 2nd grade. 6.5 and 7. I left for school at 9am after locking the front door. Never a problem. Sometimes I came home from school and she'd have gone for coffee with a friend and I'd be home alone having snack while watching cartoons, blasting music while dancing around the living room. If you treat kids like they're incapable, they will believe they're incapable and act accordingly.

Crazy idiots no way

Look up the Let Grow movement by Lenore Skenazy.