Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 19:37     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Its just a stupid popular insult, its trendy because its effective at being a quick put-down when you are lashing out.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 19:34     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.


Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.


No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.


+100 they are all kind of scruffy looking at this age. It is endearing; they are still little kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 15:06     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.


Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.


No, some kids just do this at this age. 3rd graders mostly show up with hair a mess, bed head, probably forgot to brush their teeth most with very questionable hygiene. They are pressing her buttons. OP doesn't need to address her looks to appease some hot mess 3rd graders. I can guarantee none of them have straight, pearly white teeth, perfectly styled hair and the best most fashionable clothes on every day. Just tell us you haven't been in a 3rd grade classroom recently. Lots of buck teeth, missing teeth, snaggle teeth, etc.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 14:51     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Poor baby
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 14:49     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
I am probably in the minority but I agree with your DH that your DD should be armed with a couple one liners or retorts back to the bully.

We live in a bully world and the only language that some people know is bully language. So when she gets punched (insulted), she needs to learn how to punch back (retort).

Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 14:45     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
3 different people saying this in an uncoordinated way one time each isn’t bullying. It isn’t nice, and I’m sorry your kid is upset, but it isn’t bullying.

Your husband is totally right if this was 5th grade and up. You don’t necessarily insult them, but you need a snappy comeback like “why are you so obsessed with me?” By 8th grade, you might be in insult back land. The shift is in middle school.

At third grade, this sounds like roasting where “ugly” is the insult of the day. I do think you can bring it up with the teacher/guidance counselor. For the “friend”, if you know the parents well I might contact them. Also, you just need to work with your kid on letting stuff not get to them.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 14:39     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.


Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.


This is OP again. I did not get into detail about this originally but I am very sure my kid is not actually being made fun of for her looks. Rather, I think "ugly" is the insult of the week among her peers, which happens to hit a very tender nerve because she is a female human on this planet. This is three separate kids in three separate contexts. It's not as if the whole class is chanting "Larla is ugly!" collectively at her because of something real about her looks. However, I challenge an adult to be called something insulting three times in a week and not take it a little personally, even if they know it isnt' true.

I style her hair every day, and I am good at doing her hair. She wears clothes that look exactly like what the other kids wear. She is naturally pretty. She does have braces to correct some very real orthodontic issues but her teeth are not messed up in a way that is unattractive to look at.

Thanks again to those who gave helpful responses!


Ok, I see why your kid is getting bullied. Perhaps she got her personality from you, and yours seems...not great.

You should have put the info above in the original post.


Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 14:28     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.


Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.


This is OP again. I did not get into detail about this originally but I am very sure my kid is not actually being made fun of for her looks. Rather, I think "ugly" is the insult of the week among her peers, which happens to hit a very tender nerve because she is a female human on this planet. This is three separate kids in three separate contexts. It's not as if the whole class is chanting "Larla is ugly!" collectively at her because of something real about her looks. However, I challenge an adult to be called something insulting three times in a week and not take it a little personally, even if they know it isnt' true.

I style her hair every day, and I am good at doing her hair. She wears clothes that look exactly like what the other kids wear. She is naturally pretty. She does have braces to correct some very real orthodontic issues but her teeth are not messed up in a way that is unattractive to look at.

Thanks again to those who gave helpful responses!


Ok, I see why your kid is getting bullied. Perhaps she got her personality from you, and yours seems...not great.

You should have put the info above in the original post.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 14:02     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.


Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.


This is OP again. I did not get into detail about this originally but I am very sure my kid is not actually being made fun of for her looks. Rather, I think "ugly" is the insult of the week among her peers, which happens to hit a very tender nerve because she is a female human on this planet. This is three separate kids in three separate contexts. It's not as if the whole class is chanting "Larla is ugly!" collectively at her because of something real about her looks. However, I challenge an adult to be called something insulting three times in a week and not take it a little personally, even if they know it isnt' true.

I style her hair every day, and I am good at doing her hair. She wears clothes that look exactly like what the other kids wear. She is naturally pretty. She does have braces to correct some very real orthodontic issues but her teeth are not messed up in a way that is unattractive to look at.

Thanks again to those who gave helpful responses!
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 13:43     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:My braces are temporary. You'll always be ugly in your heart - nothing can fix that.


Lame
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 13:21     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the positive advice. My DD had a better day today and is now armed with some comebacks.

Those who commented that my kid must be ugly really need to take a hard look at themselves. She is a child.


Ok some people put it kind of harshly however, if your kid is being bullied over looks you need to get really honest with yourself if there is something that is drawing the attention of other kids and if it's something you could actually fix. Like if your kid has, I don't know, super frizzy hair that you haven't done a great job on maintaining, and people are teasing her about it, that is a wake up call to help your kid.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 13:16     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
My braces are temporary. You'll always be ugly in your heart - nothing can fix that.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 13:07     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why would you make a 9 year old get braces??


This


Because it makes fixing problems later easier? What do you know about it?


Not OP but my nine year old also has braces (she actually got them at 8). It is actually quite common to do ortho in two phases depending on what is going on.


It's normal. Not sure who these people are not knowing this or calling 9 yr olds ugly. They aren't real people.
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 13:06     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would definitely email teacher for help. Also help your DD looks nicer, get her to learn one thing to very good level to build her self confidence.


Op does not need to change a nine year olds looks. My god.


I mean to make her look prettier and cuter!!
Anonymous
Post 04/16/2026 12:39     Subject: Dealing with classmate calling DD ugly?
I’d rather be ugly than a douchbag like you.