Anonymous wrote:18. A doctor who wants to separate you from your child is s red flag. Also depends on child preference

No it's not. Also keep in mind while you might be a reasonable person not all parents are and that few moments of privacy might be the only chance they get to speak to a safe adult about what is going on

At ours they start offering kids alone time at 12.though some stay in kid/family depending and the doctor talks to us until the kids are 18

Ped here. I always include the family initially and ask if they want family or a nurse in the room during the genital check, but after I complete the exam and have done the initial round of questions, I also ask the parent to please step out so that their teenager can have a space to speak privately in case there are any concerns or questions they’d like to address. I don’t usually get pushback on this, although rarely there will be parents who don’t feel like it’s a reasonable ask.

For myself, once I could drive at 16, I remember going to the pediatrician solo growing up. I do ask my front desk staff to have the parent submit written consent for vaccinations and physical exams if they are sending their children solo now.

I stopped when they went to college. If they’d ever asked me to leave the room I would have, but they never did.

Anonymous wrote:I transferred out kids around age 16 from a pediatrician to our practice with a regular GP. I think a teen 16+ shouldn't still be going to the pediatrician with 2-3 year olds wailing on the other side of the wall. It's almost demeaning at that point for a high school student. At 16-17, it's time to switch them over to a regular GP. We have girls, so female GPs. I went to the first few appointments then asked if they still needed me in on the appointment. They all said they can fly solo while I stay in the waiting room. It's been fine. I know a 23-year-old who is still going to their childhood pediatrician...

By contrast, I set up my 16yo ward with a female pediatrician and did all of her specialists through the same college healthcare system. All of her specialists are pediatric as well. When she's 18-20, specialists are helping her transition from pediatric to adult, and her pediatrician is well versed with helping teens on their own transition to adult care providers. This system also allows her to request one set of records, not multiple...

Anonymous wrote:2 sons here. Around the age of 13, I would be in the examining room for the first part of the exam, and then, the doctor would ask me to step out. My kids told me he spoke about drugs and being safe(drugs, bike helmets,vaping, etc) and if they had any questions. This mini meeting was about 5 minutes. I wasn’t worried about abuse, my kids weren’t little at the point.

Our experience as well, starting at 13. I step out when DS changes into the gown, then come back in for the first part. Dr then asks me to leave for 5 minutes, he comes out and just says "all's good" while DS gets dressed again.

18. A doctor who wants to separate you from your child is s red flag. Also depends on child preference

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go in until my kids asked me not to. Especially given all we know now about abuse in medical settings, you honestly cannot be too careful.

Disagree. Most abuse is caused by family members. The more people there are in the room, the higher the chance one of them will be a pedo.

I went to the ER for stomach pains in college and the doctors insisted on doing a breast exam. Not true at all. I just was too out of it to say no and wasn't thinking.

+1. Pedo are everywhere, not just in families, but physians too.

I transferred out kids around age 16 from a pediatrician to our practice with a regular GP. I think a teen 16+ shouldn't still be going to the pediatrician with 2-3 year olds wailing on the other side of the wall. It's almost demeaning at that point for a high school student. At 16-17, it's time to switch them over to a regular GP. We have girls, so female GPs. I went to the first few appointments then asked if they still needed me in on the appointment. They all said they can fly solo while I stay in the waiting room. It's been fine. I know a 23-year-old who is still going to their childhood pediatrician...

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and she asks that I be in the room for some visits. She decides which ones...

18yo former ward is calling me to have me look up what her psych tells her and recommends for meds, because while she could do it? It would take an hour or more after the appointment.

I wouldn’t. I don’t trust physicians or anyone else with my kid. My kid wouldn’t want me to leave, either. If they want to talk about something shady, they will talk about it with me first before a stranger.

Anonymous wrote:As I'm making my kids' appointments, it just occurred to me that I have no idea when I'm supposed to stop going to the exam room with my kids. They are 13 and 11, and are the oldest kids in our friend group. I can't remember when my mom stopped. If I don't go back when they call them, will I get a chance to ask a couple of quick questions?

I feel so clueless-thanks for any help!

When the kid or doctor ask you to leave or not come back to the office.

My 16 yo daughters wanted me in with their appointments for various things, including sports physicals, vaccinations etc.

— Dad

16ish but sometimes, I walk in for a while

The doctor has always asked my DD. She is 17, and up until this year, she was always fine with me being there. She had a few things she wanted to talk to the doctor about--and I know some of what they were--and for the first time, she didn't want me in the room. I was planning on stepping out anyway, so obviously I was fine with it. It's good practice for her to advocate for herself when she is away at college in two years.