You can hire someone to do this work, but if you want someone who can make independent decisions you are going to need to pay more than home health care salaries, and you will probably need to hire them full-time to be dependable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Okay this is a waste of money, unless you wanted your parents to have conversation partners.
Yes I know about the stealing. I assume even the bg checked ones still steal?

Probably a pretty good assumption, given how hard it is to find people to do this job.

This is what I don’t understand also! If the job is as easy as described (listen, warm up food, help order groceries) why aren’t more people doing it?

Oh because it’s an awful job actually. Most people who think they need this are actually way into needing more serious care and everyone is in denial. The adult children think hiring someone 10 hours a week will fix everything, but actually you have your finger in the dyke. Your workplace is lonely and your patient may be really resentful that you’re in their home.

I’m not saying there aren’t good gigs for this job, but as we said in those cases it’s probably someone the family already knows or maybe word of mouth. I think it also helps a lot if the older person is used to having help and staff. Change is hard for an older person so if you’ve got a person who was totally independent who suddenly has a stranger in their house against their will, that’s not a fun job. If instead it’s oh, the housekeeper is going to pick up a few more hours and oh she’s going to cook a few times a week now and oh…it’s easier.

It’s also hard to hire someone for just 10 hours per week…or the hourly rate is much much higher if you use an agency.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

Oh I am not hiring anyone (I wish I could) but I don’t understand the dispensing thing. Do you mean like giving someone a pill with a glass of water? And maybe doing eye drops?
It’s so stupid someone needs a license for it. I do it for my dad with no license and I’d totally allow someone else responsible enough to do it if they were willing!

I assume if somehow you screwed up the medication and sent your dad to the hospital or worse…your siblings wouldn’t sue you.

Are you claiming if this unlicensed caregiver manages to screw it up, you would just laugh it off?

It may seem silly, but so much of medicine and elder care is just “cover your ass” cost in the US due to lawsuits.

I mean…many assisted living facilities call the fire department if someone falls down because they don’t have the properly licensed people to pick them up. It’s a huge cost to local governments.

People who have money have access to the labor market for substitute daughters.

OP really out here wondering why she can't find servants. "If I had more money I’d love someone to be a substitute daughter to my father"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Okay this is a waste of money, unless you wanted your parents to have conversation partners.
Yes I know about the stealing. I assume even the bg checked ones still steal?

Probably a pretty good assumption, given how hard it is to find people to do this job.

This is what I don’t understand also! If the job is as easy as described (listen, warm up food, help order groceries) why aren’t more people doing it?

Oh because it’s an awful job actually. Most people who think they need this are actually way into needing more serious care and everyone is in denial. The adult children think hiring someone 10 hours a week will fix everything, but actually you have your finger in the dyke. Your workplace is lonely and your patient may be really resentful that you’re in their home.

I’m not saying there aren’t good gigs for this job, but as we said in those cases it’s probably someone the family already knows or maybe word of mouth. I think it also helps a lot if the older person is used to having help and staff. Change is hard for an older person so if you’ve got a person who was totally independent who suddenly has a stranger in their house against their will, that’s not a fun job. If instead it’s oh, the housekeeper is going to pick up a few more hours and oh she’s going to cook a few times a week now and oh…it’s easier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

On the flip side, make sure they don't do anything illegal. Elder abuse and theft and all that.

NP. This is my fear with my aging parents.

Everyone keeps comparing the job to taking care of children and want to pay that same rate, but this is generally a worse job than taking care of a kid, pulling from the same population.

Kids develop skills instead of lose them…which is hard.
Would you rather help a small 3 year old get dressed or a full grown adult?
How about help them clean up after a bathroom accident?
Most kids/toddlers are happy/joyful/laughing for at least part of the day.
If a three year old gets hard headed and insists on doing something unsafe you can pick them up and move them away from the unsafe thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

It can actually be easier to find good people to do this in those "isolated backwaters."

Why do you think this is? Is it because there’s fewer jobs there? Or more people with old fashioned work ethic?

Because in those communities, everyone knows each other and grew up around one another or knows someone who did. They have all been in each other's orbit for decades. There's a true social fabric to these places.

Wage rates are low so Medicaid rates are better reimbursement compared to local wages.

The people I know in "isolated backwaters" doing this do not need Medicaid. Believe it or not there are wealthy people in small communities way out yonder.

PP. Believe it or not, I know actual poor people from "isolated backwaters". Family-style nursing homes can be quite nice there compared to city varieties. And it's because lots of wages are low in those communities that these jobs are competitive with crap retail and other comparatively poorly-paying service jobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Okay this is a waste of money, unless you wanted your parents to have conversation partners.
Yes I know about the stealing. I assume even the bg checked ones still steal?

Probably a pretty good assumption, given how hard it is to find people to do this job.

This is what I don’t understand also! If the job is as easy as described (listen, warm up food, help order groceries) why aren’t more people doing it?

Because it doesn't pay. Getting paid like a teen babysitter is not viable for most people.
And the people you'd most want to do this - the reliable background-checked people with good sense - can get a bunch of different jobs that pay better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

It can actually be easier to find good people to do this in those "isolated backwaters."

Why do you think this is? Is it because there’s fewer jobs there? Or more people with old fashioned work ethic?

Because in those communities, everyone knows each other and grew up around one another or knows someone who did. They have all been in each other's orbit for decades. There's a true social fabric to these places.

Wage rates are low so Medicaid rates are better reimbursement compared to local wages.

The people I know in "isolated backwaters" doing this do not need Medicaid. Believe it or not there are wealthy people in small communities way out yonder.

We have a rural home that we love but the fact is that if we can’t live independently we wouldn’t be able to retire there. The applicant pool just isn’t wide enough for quality care nor the access to hospitals etc. Rural hospitals will be closing more and more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

It can actually be easier to find good people to do this in those "isolated backwaters."

Why do you think this is? Is it because there’s fewer jobs there? Or more people with old fashioned work ethic?

Because in those communities, everyone knows each other and grew up around one another or knows someone who did. They have all been in each other's orbit for decades. There's a true social fabric to these places.

Wage rates are low so Medicaid rates are better reimbursement compared to local wages.

The people I know in "isolated backwaters" doing this do not need Medicaid. Believe it or not there are wealthy people in small communities way out yonder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

It can actually be easier to find good people to do this in those "isolated backwaters."

Why do you think this is? Is it because there’s fewer jobs there? Or more people with old fashioned work ethic?

Because in those communities, everyone knows each other and grew up around one another or knows someone who did. They have all been in each other's orbit for decades. There's a true social fabric to these places.

Wage rates are low so Medicaid rates are better reimbursement compared to local wages.

The people I know in "isolated backwaters" doing this do not need Medicaid. Believe it or not there are wealthy people in small communities way out yonder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

It can actually be easier to find good people to do this in those "isolated backwaters."

Why do you think this is? Is it because there’s fewer jobs there? Or more people with old fashioned work ethic?

Both, and more. PP here.

A friend's DW had a stroke. They live in fairly rural VA. This friend has exhausted himself caring for her for the past two years and finally admitted to needing respite care help. His brother's girlfriend is a nurse who is semi-retired and was looking for work, but didn't necessarily want the stress of an actual nursing job at the hospital and knew she didn't want to work in a nursing home or dialysis center and only wanted part time work. It ended up working out perfectly for our friend -- this retired nurse hadn't yet found anything that would work for her hours-wise, and she is loving and highly dependable (as many older country people are). Most jobs out there (one of the counties in Central Va) pay min wage or close to it, so it's easier to find people who don't resent the wages; if hiring for a job like this you aren't competing with jobs that pay more the way most jobs do here in NoVA. In NoVA, if you are reliable, you can probably do better than min wage companion work, but out in the Shenandoah Valley, there's not much competition for good workers. People are just happy to have the work. So yeah, there are fewer jobs, and yeah, many of the folks looking for work are pretty reliable.

There's also adult day care. A neighbor has this and the bus picks him up every morning and takes him to their place for activities with other old people.