Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well the other way that high school is distinctly different is that for application schools it isn’t random, so a bad result feels not only disappointing but also like a negative judgement.

Nope. Walls is a lottery basically. They are no longer taking the brightest kid. So that’s that, not much different.

Well no. Latin's 9th grade seats are a lottery (with sibling preference). Walls is a lottery amongst those who meet the threshold criteria and complete the application process. So it is partly a performance judgment.

Anonymous wrote:We decided to be open and honest with other parents about lotterying this year. There's a pretty small, cohesive group of kids/parents at our IB who are middle class/upper middle class and send their kids to aftercare (aftercare is small at our school - they have space for everyone but it's less than 10% of kids that go) and we all basically know each other at this point (my kid is early elementary). There have been a few people who left over the years with some degree of not saying anything (never mentioned the lottery or a house hunt and all of a sudden in August, aren't going to be at school next year) and I think other people were a little hurt/bummed by that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well the other way that high school is distinctly different is that for application schools it isn’t random, so a bad result feels not only disappointing but also like a negative judgement.

Nope. Walls is a lottery basically. They are no longer taking the brightest kid. So that’s that, not much different.

Anonymous wrote:Well the other way that high school is distinctly different is that for application schools it isn’t random, so a bad result feels not only disappointing but also like a negative judgement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was on-campus at Stuart-Hobson the day after results were released last year. The school was giddy. Lots of congratulations all around. That wasn't unusual for the school, but it was nice to deal with it as a parent and not a teacher.

That's great BUT I guarantee you there were kids at school that day masking disappointment at not getting a spot at their desired application school, and likely doubly sad because so many of their classmates were excited -- their friends will now be attending other schools.

NP. Yeah, but for an eighth grader that really feels with in the bounds of a reasonable negative life experience. Sadness happens. Sometimes we don’t get what we want. These kids aren’t made out of glass, they won’t break.

In early elem, I agree you mostly keep that close to the vest, kids aren’t ready to be involved in that decision or even the results really.

5/6th grade is the tougher one. They’re too old not to be in the mix, but young to deal with it.

I think it’s the opposite. kids get really invested in application high schools of their own volition but I doubt a 10 year old would care that much about the lottery (unless the parents made a huge deal about it).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends.

For the PK3 lottery I think it's helpful for people to share their results and situations (like what they ranked highest, if they are wait listed) because everyone is new to the process and it's part of how you learn. But you should always be sensitive about it, especially if you "win" the lottery. Others won't, and if you are seen as gloating, they will get annoyed with you.

As kids get older people tend to be slightly more circumspect, especially because choosing to lottery often indicates dissatisfaction with the school other people's kids attend. Also middle school lottery in DC is stressful because there are simply not enough spots available as the schools a lot of people want and many people have very tough choices to make if they don't get a lottery spot for MS.

In HS you have application schools, plus at that point the kids are taking the lead on school preferences and you need to be thoughtful about how the kids feel (again, especially kids who don't get spots at their desired school).

The lottery is a good time to practice empathy, be observant about how your situation might differ from someone else's (for instance some people have really weak IB options do more may ride on the lottery for them), and learn to talk about kids in a non-competitive and mutually supportive way. This is far from the last time those skills will come in handy with other parents.

Eh. I would say that this is an opportunity to begin the essential process of being less fixated on “wins” for your kid. You cannot really predict the future. I was devastated when my kid “lost” the K lottery but the IB school ended up being excellent for K. Similarly bummed to “lose” for MS but again IB worked really well. Believe it or not it is possible to be chill about this stuff and you do not have to be a constant maximizer.

That's great for you but not everyone's IB works "really well." We were at out IB from PK3 though 2nd and it was a rough run for my kid, when we finally had lottery puck and got a spot at another DCPS.i wasn't "maximizing" to feel frustration and disappointment each year when we'd watch other families depart our IB, and the have to explain to our kid why a friend wouldn't be at our school anymore.

I bet your IB is a school a lot like where we ended up -- a good DCPS with an acceptable MS feed. I wish you understood how rare this is in DC.

You misunderstand. I’m talking about people who think they need to take exaggerated steps to conceal or carefully share that they “won” the lottery. Same as I assume you didn’t go around talking constantly about how much you wanted to get out of your “bad” IB.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was on-campus at Stuart-Hobson the day after results were released last year. The school was giddy. Lots of congratulations all around. That wasn't unusual for the school, but it was nice to deal with it as a parent and not a teacher.

That's great BUT I guarantee you there were kids at school that day masking disappointment at not getting a spot at their desired application school, and likely doubly sad because so many of their classmates were excited -- their friends will now be attending other schools.

NP. Yeah, but for an eighth grader that really feels with in the bounds of a reasonable negative life experience. Sadness happens. Sometimes we don’t get what we want. These kids aren’t made out of glass, they won’t break.

In early elem, I agree you mostly keep that close to the vest, kids aren’t ready to be involved in that decision or even the results really.

5/6th grade is the tougher one. They’re too old not to be in the mix, but young to deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends.

For the PK3 lottery I think it's helpful for people to share their results and situations (like what they ranked highest, if they are wait listed) because everyone is new to the process and it's part of how you learn. But you should always be sensitive about it, especially if you "win" the lottery. Others won't, and if you are seen as gloating, they will get annoyed with you.

As kids get older people tend to be slightly more circumspect, especially because choosing to lottery often indicates dissatisfaction with the school other people's kids attend. Also middle school lottery in DC is stressful because there are simply not enough spots available as the schools a lot of people want and many people have very tough choices to make if they don't get a lottery spot for MS.

In HS you have application schools, plus at that point the kids are taking the lead on school preferences and you need to be thoughtful about how the kids feel (again, especially kids who don't get spots at their desired school).

The lottery is a good time to practice empathy, be observant about how your situation might differ from someone else's (for instance some people have really weak IB options do more may ride on the lottery for them), and learn to talk about kids in a non-competitive and mutually supportive way. This is far from the last time those skills will come in handy with other parents.

Eh. I would say that this is an opportunity to begin the essential process of being less fixated on “wins” for your kid. You cannot really predict the future. I was devastated when my kid “lost” the K lottery but the IB school ended up being excellent for K. Similarly bummed to “lose” for MS but again IB worked really well. Believe it or not it is possible to be chill about this stuff and you do not have to be a constant maximizer.

That's great for you but not everyone's IB works "really well." We were at out IB from PK3 though 2nd and it was a rough run for my kid, when we finally had lottery puck and got a spot at another DCPS.i wasn't "maximizing" to feel frustration and disappointment each year when we'd watch other families depart our IB, and the have to explain to our kid why a friend wouldn't be at our school anymore.

I bet your IB is a school a lot like where we ended up -- a good DCPS with an acceptable MS feed. I wish you understood how rare this is in DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For elementary school school lottery, we only told a few friends of the lottery results, no one at our existing IB school. Told friends at IB school in the weeks leading up to the new school year. Told our kids the week before school started.
For middle school, we told our kid that night, and discretely told friends in the weeks after, mainly trying to figure out who would be joining at the new school (BASIS). But don't do what some of the 4th grade parents did on our school's WhatsApp group - broadcast to the whole grade who got into Latin or how high their kid's spot was on the waitlist.

I’m the PP who opted for honesty - I think it’s crappy to not tell the other elementary families until August. What is your rationale for that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For elementary school school lottery, we only told a few friends of the lottery results, no one at our existing IB school. Told friends at IB school in the weeks leading up to the new school year. Told our kids the week before school started.
For middle school, we told our kid that night, and discretely told friends in the weeks after, mainly trying to figure out who would be joining at the new school (BASIS). But don't do what some of the 4th grade parents did on our school's WhatsApp group - broadcast to the whole grade who got into Latin or how high their kid's spot was on the waitlist.

I’m the PP who opted for honesty - I think it’s crappy to not tell the other elementary families until August. What is your rationale for that?

Anonymous wrote:For elementary school school lottery, we only told a few friends of the lottery results, no one at our existing IB school. Told friends at IB school in the weeks leading up to the new school year. Told our kids the week before school started.
For middle school, we told our kid that night, and discretely told friends in the weeks after, mainly trying to figure out who would be joining at the new school (BASIS). But don't do what some of the 4th grade parents did on our school's WhatsApp group - broadcast to the whole grade who got into Latin or how high their kid's spot was on the waitlist.