Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

That is not the norm at all and your workplace is broken. Every place I have worked allows sick leave for annual appointments and taking children to annual appointments.

+1 if a workplace has typical 40-hour work week hours, which are also generally when doctors, dentists, and physical therapists operate, it is assumed you will use sick leave for regular appointments. You don't have some obligation to schedule your kid's doctor's appointments for the sliver of Saturday morning the pediatrician is open just because you work Mon-Fri, that's stupid.

This is the whole point of sick leave.

Can’t imagine why women aren’t having kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have someone in HR you can reach out to? He cannot ask for medical diagnoses. I am not sure if he can ask for an "attendance" slip, e.g., "Larla was present for an appointment today."

HR is not for you, it's for your company.

It is for the company, but one of the things it does for the company is protect them from liability when their employees violate employment laws. Thus, when you are confident that you are in the right on an employment issue, they can be a useful ally because they will intervene to protect you in order to avoid exposing themselves to a potential lawsuit for your boss's behavior.

You have to be careful with them and always makes sure to document everything and consult an outside attorney as necessary, but they can be useful when dealing with a supervisor or colleague who is clearly violating the law.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

Legally? Is the OP in the public sector or work for the federal government?

Ahhh, doesnt matter . FMLA covers it.

OP's in a new job. No FMLA. Also, FMLA wouldn't apply to a single doctor's appointment.

As to whether an employer can require this, the answer is yes. There may be a limit as to how specific the medical information would need to be - you'd have to check your state law for details. But, if you're missing work and if you're planning to take sick leave documentation can be required. Often sick leave has specific criteria that must be met in order to use it and your employer can require to you document that your leave qualifies.

Also, for those who are saying that an employer has to allow an employee to use sick leave for their kids' medical appointments, that's not necessarily true. If you have a contract, like a collective bargaining agreement, that requires the employer to allow you to use sick leave for this purpose, then yes they are required. But this is not universal by any means.

If you're not used to this, it can feel odd. But it's very typical in certain industries. Many/most doctors actually have a bad of excuses that they just have to check off. Now, it's also common to have electronic excuses. This is especially true of pediatricians who need to provide kids with a note so that kids can return to school and not get an unexcused absence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A note seems extreme but fine.

When he asks why, say “she needs medical care.” Keep repeating it.

Or, and this is just me, I might start describing why in graphic explicit detail if the boss were an old white man. He would walk out before I was done talking!

+1. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the right to demand this, but if it's a guy asking, I am going into incredibly graphic details about menstruation, cramping, etc. I might throw in period diarrhea as a bonus.

Malicious compliance might be the best course of action here (jk tell them to pound sand).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

Doctors generally are not available off hours. PCP's, OB/GYN's, pediatricians, none of them are available during non-work hours.

Whether or not the spouse is unavailable is irrelevant. One of the parents needs to care for the child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

Legally? Is the OP in the public sector or work for the federal government?

Ahhh, doesnt matter . FMLA covers it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

Legally? Is the OP in the public sector or work for the federal government?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

Are you a man, OP? I wonder if your manager thinks that it's weird for a dad, instead of a mom, to take their kid to the doctor, and that's making him suspicious.

My husband had a female boss who responded: "Don't you have a wife?" when he let her know he needed to be off later that week for an appointment for our son, who was sick and had multiple issues. I was almost in negative leave balance, so it wasn't like I wasn't using mine first.

What is the J1 J2 thing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

That is not the norm at all and your workplace is broken. Every place I have worked allows sick leave for annual appointments and taking children to annual appointments.

+1

Don't even get me started on sports physicals, braces, therapy, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

First of all if an employee at my last few jobs is taking a kid to a doctor during work hours and using sick time it is normally an emergency, with a specialist that is not available off hours or spouse is unavailable.

Otherwife I have people taking sick days to take kids to Dentist, Flu Shots, Orthdonist during work hours. It is a gray area and 90 percen of folks folks are honest.

In this case it would be my daughter is sick, My wife is unavailable to do it so I have to as she is young and does not drive and needs a parent present as a minor.

At my prior jobs we had all types of scammers. My favorite of all time this guy at my company after both his wife and him took off every time kids was sick but they had a nanny and would netflix and chill.

Sure, J1 J2 guy. You know you should be playing on the internet. Did you steal the memory care nurse’s phone again?

Anonymous wrote:Please clarify: The OP wants to use his sick time for his child's doctor's appointment? Wouldn't vacation/personal time be more appropriate?

No, legally you are able to use your sick time for immediate family members.

I would get the note and just keep on repeating she needed medical care.

Would assume he's trying to shame you for being a man taking his child to the doctor.

Anonymous wrote:I changed jobs for the first time in almost a decade so I admit I'm rusty on the norms, but this is .... odd, right?

My DD is having severe cramps during her menstrual cycle and my wife was to take her next week but the pediatrician called with an opening tomorrow. My wife cant do it so I'm filling in.

My manager wants to know 'why' my DD is going to the Dr and is requiring that I tell him AND get a note.

Are you a man, OP? I wonder if your manager thinks that it's weird for a dad, instead of a mom, to take their kid to the doctor, and that's making him suspicious.