Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have the same birthday tradition - a dinner out, choice of the one celebrating, everyone goes. We have one other condition and that is that the person who chooses has to choose a place that everyone can find something they like. Honestly, I'd be surprised if one of my kids picked a place that another didn't like. And, if they did and it was brought to their attention, I'd be surprised if they didn't offer to change it to a place where everyone would have a good time.

For us, birthdays are family celebrations and while the birthday person gets a lot of leeway, it is not without limits. There are plenty of opportunities to have a dinner out with just parents or a parent to a place that is not popular with everyone. As I say this, I do recognize that we can choose to eat out periodically and that is a privilege. If OP doesn't have that ability, I would probably tell my other kid to suck it up, eat before they go, put a smile on their face and show up.

OP here,

We have a large family. The gathering is grandparents, aunts and uncles, and a bunch of cousins. Altogether we have about 20 people at these birthday celebrations, and if everyone had veto power then we'd end up at the same restaurants over and over. I also think it's good for the pickier kids to stretch their palate, or at a minimum, do a little problem solving. We do make sure that the restaurant we pick accommodates the one cousin with life threatening allergies, but otherwise if a kid just eats bread and butter for one meal, it won't hurt them.

Having said that, there are things he likes on the menu. Maybe not entrees, but there are things on the menu he's happily eaten many times before, one example is french fries.

As far as other people's comments, it would be just kid and parents either way. Sister probably wouldn't be devastated if he didn't come, but she's also fine if he does. She's pretty good at ignoring his nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:Of course he comes. It's not even about the particular issue -- he comes because you tell him he's coming

He's a teen. He does what you tell him to do. He does not get to make this a debate. You do not need to convince him of anything.

Anonymous wrote:Oh, he comes. He doesn't have to eat, and he can eat beforehand, but you don't get to sh*t on your sibling's choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have the same birthday tradition - a dinner out, choice of the one celebrating, everyone goes. We have one other condition and that is that the person who chooses has to choose a place that everyone can find something they like. Honestly, I'd be surprised if one of my kids picked a place that another didn't like. And, if they did and it was brought to their attention, I'd be surprised if they didn't offer to change it to a place where everyone would have a good time.

For us, birthdays are family celebrations and while the birthday person gets a lot of leeway, it is not without limits. There are plenty of opportunities to have a dinner out with just parents or a parent to a place that is not popular with everyone. As I say this, I do recognize that we can choose to eat out periodically and that is a privilege. If OP doesn't have that ability, I would probably tell my other kid to suck it up, eat before they go, put a smile on their face and show up.

OP here,

We have a large family. The gathering is grandparents, aunts and uncles, and a bunch of cousins. Altogether we have about 20 people at these birthday celebrations, and if everyone had veto power then we'd end up at the same restaurants over and over. I also think it's good for the pickier kids to stretch their palate, or at a minimum, do a little problem solving. We do make sure that the restaurant we pick accommodates the one cousin with life threatening allergies, but otherwise if a kid just eats bread and butter for one meal, it won't hurt them.

Having said that, there are things he likes on the menu. Maybe not entrees, but there are things on the menu he's happily eaten many times before, one example is french fries.

As far as other people's comments, it wouldn't be just kid and parents either way. Sister probably wouldn't be devastated if he didn't come, but she's also fine if he does. She's pretty good at ignoring his nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:We have the same birthday tradition - a dinner out, choice of the one celebrating, everyone goes. We have one other condition and that is that the person who chooses has to choose a place that everyone can find something they like. Honestly, I'd be surprised if one of my kids picked a place that another didn't like. And, if they did and it was brought to their attention, I'd be surprised if they didn't offer to change it to a place where everyone would have a good time.

For us, birthdays are family celebrations and while the birthday person gets a lot of leeway, it is not without limits. There are plenty of opportunities to have a dinner out with just parents or a parent to a place that is not popular with everyone. As I say this, I do recognize that we can choose to eat out periodically and that is a privilege. If OP doesn't have that ability, I would probably tell my other kid to suck it up, eat before they go, put a smile on their face and show up.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this. I am a vegetarian and some vegan restaurants have no appeal to me. Why can't the daughter have a special meal with her parents without her sibling? That would be more special to me than drama.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have the same birthday tradition - a dinner out, choice of the one celebrating, everyone goes. We have one other condition and that is that the person who chooses has to choose a place that everyone can find something they like. Honestly, I'd be surprised if one of my kids picked a place that another didn't like. And, if they did and it was brought to their attention, I'd be surprised if they didn't offer to change it to a place where everyone would have a good time.

For us, birthdays are family celebrations and while the birthday person gets a lot of leeway, it is not without limits. There are plenty of opportunities to have a dinner out with just parents or a parent to a place that is not popular with everyone. As I say this, I do recognize that we can choose to eat out periodically and that is a privilege. If OP doesn't have that ability, I would probably tell my other kid to suck it up, eat before they go, put a smile on their face and show up.

OP here,

We have a large family. The gathering is grandparents, aunts and uncles, and a bunch of cousins. Altogether we have about 20 people at these birthday celebrations, and if everyone had veto power then we'd end up at the same restaurants over and over. I also think it's good for the pickier kids to stretch their palate, or at a minimum, do a little problem solving. We do make sure that the restaurant we pick accommodates the one cousin with life threatening allergies, but otherwise if a kid just eats bread and butter for one meal, it won't hurt them.

Having said that, there are things he likes on the menu. Maybe not entrees, but there are things on the menu he's happily eaten many times before, one example is french fries.

As far as other people's comments, it would be just kid and parents either way. Sister probably wouldn't be devastated if he didn't come, but she's also fine if he does. She's pretty good at ignoring his nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:We have the same birthday tradition - a dinner out, choice of the one celebrating, everyone goes. We have one other condition and that is that the person who chooses has to choose a place that everyone can find something they like. Honestly, I'd be surprised if one of my kids picked a place that another didn't like. And, if they did and it was brought to their attention, I'd be surprised if they didn't offer to change it to a place where everyone would have a good time.

For us, birthdays are family celebrations and while the birthday person gets a lot of leeway, it is not without limits. There are plenty of opportunities to have a dinner out with just parents or a parent to a place that is not popular with everyone. As I say this, I do recognize that we can choose to eat out periodically and that is a privilege. If OP doesn't have that ability, I would probably tell my other kid to suck it up, eat before they go, put a smile on their face and show up.