Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just think you're ignorant about what getting old means. My dad is pushing 80 and overall in good health yet last week he took his girlfriend for cataract surgery, got bloodwork, went to see two different doctors and got a stress test. He was fitting in socializing around that. But overall his week was dominated with medical stuff. And that's someone who's HEALTHY.

doctors appointments are simply a part of life when you are older. And yeah, they are much more frequent. But honestly reading your post it sounds like your father is doing pretty well for his age. Some people can’t even walk without help at that age. Your dad has a girlfriend. Think about that.

I don’t understand your comment about my father’s girlfriend?

I still have to cook for everyone. I feel like being 50ish is a pretty bad age tbh: empty nest but kids still so demanding and home a lot, aging parents with so many issues, and in my head I am selfish and don't want to take care of anyone but myself. Much much harder for me than the little kid years and no freedom like in my early 20s.

I have the things you want at 48, but I'd rather cook and clean for many people and have the strength and energy of my 20s.
I'm not sick at all, but about 70% of my strength, energy, excitement for life is gone.

I'm 61. Kids are 'launched' -- self supporting, one in law school. I am semi-retired and my husband is retired. For years he kept military hours, was out of the house before 7 AM, went to bed early, and I was more of a night owl. What I am actually enjoying the most is sitting on our porch in the morning and having coffee and watching the birds, spending time together. We are getting ready to do some traveling.

For years we did two challenging careers, business travel, a dog and two cats, three kids, music lessons, swim team, taking care of elderly parents. I think it took us a fair amount of time just to decompress. We are renovating our empty nester, down-sizer home, and I'm taking little art classes here and there. We are planning some travel.

It's hard to downshift after all those go go go years. At first we felt sort of guilty for all the downtime we had. Now I'm thinking it might be nice to learn how to play mah jhong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and I look forward to all those things too! I think DH and I would be really happy in retirement in a tiny condo.

BUT....now that's I'm almost 50 I am dealing with back pain for the first time in my life. If I sleep weird or if I stand for too many hours at one of my kids' sporting events, my lower back becomes extremely unhappy about it. When I take my dogs for a walk and I pick up the poop, I gotta be real careful how I squat down and make sure my back is ramrod straight so it doesn't hurt me. It's not pleasant to deal with when I've never ever had to deal with pain before.

We can look forward to getting old because we are looking with rose colored glasses. The reality of aging bodies is quite another thing.

Major thread hijack, but get to a good chiropractor!
A good one will have you feeling better quite soon. They can work wonders.

They are literal quacks! See a proper physical therapist and try yoga. You probably need to work on your core.

Some are a little out there, but if you think proper spinal alignment isn't key for overall health, you really don't know what you're talking about.
A good chiropractor will look at things in total, and will advise/adjust as necessary.

Chiropractors regularly permanently damage people’s body’s. They will tell you a whole bunch of nonsense. Agree, go to physical therapist.
-My friend was permanently injured by a chiropractor and had to have invasive neck surgery to correct it. And she still doesn’t have full range of movement, and likely never will again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and I look forward to all those things too! I think DH and I would be really happy in retirement in a tiny condo.

BUT....now that's I'm almost 50 I am dealing with back pain for the first time in my life. If I sleep weird or if I stand for too many hours at one of my kids' sporting events, my lower back becomes extremely unhappy about it. When I take my dogs for a walk and I pick up the poop, I gotta be real careful how I squat down and make sure my back is ramrod straight so it doesn't hurt me. It's not pleasant to deal with when I've never ever had to deal with pain before.

We can look forward to getting old because we are looking with rose colored glasses. The reality of aging bodies is quite another thing.

Major thread hijack, but get to a good chiropractor!
A good one will have you feeling better quite soon. They can work wonders.

They are literal quacks! See a proper physical therapist and try yoga. You probably need to work on your core.

Some are a little out there, but if you think proper spinal alignment isn't key for overall health, you really don't know what you're talking about.
A good chiropractor will look at things in total, and will advise/adjust as necessary.

OP - - I do not think it is weird at all…..when my own kids were younger ➕ were living at home I used to feel the same way.

I looked forward to a time when I didn’t have the responsibilities associated with kids.
I.e., school/activity drop-offs ➕ pick-ups, doing their laundry, picking up after them, dealing with the noise & chaos of not only them but their friends at times too, etc.

They are now grown + I do love having a clean and orderly, quiet home.
I enjoy not having to take care of anyone (financially/physically/emotionally) but myself.

However there are many moments where I look back on the days when my kids were still at home and yearn for those moments.

So it is a toss up.
I have to constantly remind myself that this is the life I deserve now after sacrificing so much in the past.
Hopefully soon I can believe it❣️👍🏽

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? I'm 52 and this is my life as an empty nester. So glad I started my family in my mid 20s.

People say this but I don’t think getting to sit around in my 50s could possibly be better than the insane amount of fun I was having in my childless 20s.

There are trade-offs for sure. I never felt like I was missing out at the time (we had a nanny, could afford babysitting), but, I'm sure there were things I missed out on.

Dating? Travel? Devoting long hours while single to building your career?

Anonymous wrote:Me too! I am 41 - I am counting down. If I could, I would fast forward until I am 61. As long as I am healthy, I don’t care about getting old.

I will be 61 this year. Don’t wish your life away. I miss: my kids living in my house; my good sleep quality; my hips not waking me up at night in pain when I roll over; having to pee every 3 or 4 hours.

My parents are both dead. Enjoy this crazy season of life because you might look back in 20 years and miss it, even just a little bit.

Anonymous wrote:I just think you're ignorant about what getting old means. My dad is pushing 80 and overall in good health yet last week he took his girlfriend for cataract surgery, got bloodwork, went to see two different doctors and got a stress test. He was fitting in socializing around that. But overall his week was dominated with medical stuff. And that's someone who's HEALTHY.

doctors appointments are simply a part of life when you are older. And yeah, they are much more frequent. But honestly reading your post it sounds like your father is doing pretty well for his age. Some people can’t even walk without help at that age. Your dad has a girlfriend. Think about that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? I'm 52 and this is my life as an empty nester. So glad I started my family in my mid 20s.

People say this but I don’t think getting to sit around in my 50s could possibly be better than the insane amount of fun I was having in my childless 20s.

There are trade-offs for sure. I never felt like I was missing out at the time (we had a nanny, could afford babysitting), but, I'm sure there were things I missed out on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55.

I will assure you that getting older is not for the faint of heart. I had two crowns placed last week, and the thing they give you to bite to keep your mouth open while they were working on them caused a crack in another causing the need for another crown. Your body literally starts falling apart, even if you have always been very healthy and took great care of yourself. Don’t even get me started on menopause and hellish hot flashes or how our culture hates people over 45…

I’m 55, too, and have my physical challenges. But I also feel a lot of positives. I’m done with the side effects of menopause and feel more even keeled than ever before. Lots of good physical things—I actually have an easier time controlling my weight. I sweat less. My hair doesn’t get oily. Women complain about being “invisible” when they get older but I love it. I’m not drop dead beautiful but I am a curvy blonde and between the ages of about 12 and 45 often felt leered at or talked down to by men. Now I walk through the world unnoticed. It’s great. I’m not retired yet but am so excited about it! I’m waiting until the last kid is through college to move from my big, PITA house to a condo somewhere warm. So, I totally get where OP is coming from.

If you are living a healthy lifestyle all along it’s not as if turning 55 or 60 is like some turning point for your heath. I know 70 year olds in better shape than some 50 year olds simply because of lifestyle choices. Most very unhealthy people I know are that way because they don’t go for checkups, eat terribly and don’t move their bodies. That stuff can go unnoticed until your 40s much of the time but after that it seems to be a pretty rapid downward spiral for those folks.

I agree with you that I think the whole “going through life like I am invisible” thing is a weird thing some harp on and I simply don’t get it. I think that is only a problem for women who have built their whole self worth on how others see them.

+1. I’ve always acted like I’m invisible and it’s really inconvenient to realize I’m not.

I just think you're ignorant about what getting old means. My dad is pushing 80 and overall in good health yet last week he took his girlfriend for cataract surgery, got bloodwork, went to see two different doctors and got a stress test. He was fitting in socializing around that. But overall his week was dominated with medical stuff. And that's someone who's HEALTHY.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 48 and I look forward to all those things too! I think DH and I would be really happy in retirement in a tiny condo.

BUT....now that's I'm almost 50 I am dealing with back pain for the first time in my life. If I sleep weird or if I stand for too many hours at one of my kids' sporting events, my lower back becomes extremely unhappy about it. When I take my dogs for a walk and I pick up the poop, I gotta be real careful how I squat down and make sure my back is ramrod straight so it doesn't hurt me. It's not pleasant to deal with when I've never ever had to deal with pain before.

We can look forward to getting old because we are looking with rose colored glasses. The reality of aging bodies is quite another thing.

Major thread hijack, but get to a good chiropractor!
A good one will have you feeling better quite soon. They can work wonders.

They are literal quacks! See a proper physical therapist and try yoga. You probably need to work on your core.

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? I'm 52 and this is my life as an empty nester. So glad I started my family in my mid 20s.

People say this but I don’t think getting to sit around in my 50s could possibly be better than the insane amount of fun I was having in my childless 20s.