Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.

These schools are way too intense and time consuming for students to get seriously hooked on drugs. Many of them have zero tolerance policies for drugs and will expel students if they're even caught in the same room as someone using drugs. The risk isn't worth it, and most kids don't engage in that behavior.

Drug use and partying are way worse at top private day schools, where kids with lax parents throw parties with flowing alcohol and drugs sourced from nearby dealers.

Anonymous wrote:My son was admitted to both Deerfield Academy boarding school in MA, Maret, and Potomac. He's excited by the possibility of Deerfield, but I am unsure. Does anyone here have any thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.

These schools are way too intense and time consuming for students to get seriously hooked on drugs. Many of them have zero tolerance policies for drugs and will expel students if they're even caught in the same room as someone using drugs. The risk isn't worth it, and most kids don't engage in that behavior.

Drug use and partying are way worse at top private day schools, where kids with lax parents throw parties with flowing alcohol and drugs sourced from nearby dealers.

Anonymous wrote:I would not send my 14-15 year old kid away. Those are really important years in your kid's life and I personally would keep him here. I would choose Maret or Potomac depending on which one is closer to you and also on which sports if any is important to your child.

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.

Anonymous wrote:Why do people send their kids away to boarding school when there are great local options?

Don’t you want the extra four years to be around your children in order to enjoy each other and to support your children in-person?

Anonymous wrote:My son was admitted to both Deerfield Academy boarding school in MA, Maret, and Potomac. He's excited by the possibility of Deerfield, but I am unsure. Does anyone here have any thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:To those who are saying that boarding schools kids are miserable: it depends on the kid and the school. Mine LOVES it. I ask frequently, and create the space for a frank answer and criticism. Kid just loves it. Current freshman retention/return rate at DA is insanely high. Everyone on DCUM cites that as a key metric for colleges, then ignores it for high schools. Odd.

Of the 121 kids last August, one student returned home overseas in term one. Boarding school was not right for that student. We do not know of a single one of the remaining 120 who did not re-enroll for next year. And if even 2 of the now 120 change their mind over summer (and I doubt they will)? Fair enough. They should be offered that choice if it serves them better. That would set the retention rate at better than 97.5 percent. That stacks up very well against the selective/in demand day schools where we live.

I challenge anyone to cite a school that has 100% happy teenagers. Or any town that has 100% happy teenagers. How about a place where no one under 19 has ever experimented with alcohol/drugs/sex? You can’t. Because it does not exist in the developed world. And it would be a wild outlier when one considers the normal human development of people from 14-18. Angst and identity are right there in the mix with problem solving, community building and independence seeking. They will go through this transition in every setting imaginable.

A more critical perspective would be to understand this, and ask what you can do to support your child making good decisions as they develop into an adult. This is about one kid: yours. You cannot do this for them. They need to gradually navigate their own transition to adulthood. If you do not believe you can partner with talented and dedicated professionals to support your child eight months of the year while they are at a rigorous boarding school with meaningful oversight (DA is better at this than some of the bigger elites), do not send your child. One of our other children attended one of the larger ones. But they were well suited for that. Admissions at all of the great boarding schools actively seek kids who will thrive there! And they weed out the ones whose parents are pushing for it more than the kid. But if you have confidence in the foundation you have given them, and confidence that you can maintain excellent communication during the 5-6 week stretches of time between breaks, then why not let them have a crack at an extraordinary opportunity? For the right kid, it offers so much more than any other option. For others, it could be a disaster. This is not one size fits all. Thank goodness.

I find it odd that people are harping on boarding schools for issues that also exist right under the noses of day students’ parents in every community in the US. I also do not understand people who insist on citing anecdotes of yore. It’s 2026 and the schools have seriously leveled up with the times.

To the OP: Go to the revisit! I hope it brings clarity to you and your son, either way. The beauty of your situation? You have great choices, and are unlikely to go wrong if you follow your gut on this one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.

That’s total BS and based on your survey of one person. I know many many people who attended boarding school and the vast majority loved it.

All of the boarding school kids at college were actually kinda over the partying thing by the time they got to college. They mostly just got high togehter but weren’t the crazy sloppy drunks.

Are you from New England? I'd say a solid 50% of people I knew growing up went to a boarding school.

From NYC. A lot of the private school kids go to BS after 8/9th grades. I also spend summer in NE where many of my friends are from the NE states and yes, a good many went to boarding school. I just looked through my contacts and counted 30 people who went to boarding school and another 12 whose kids are there now or recently graduated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.

That’s total BS and based on your survey of one person. I know many many people who attended boarding school and the vast majority loved it.

All of the boarding school kids at college were actually kinda over the partying thing by the time they got to college. They mostly just got high togehter but weren’t the crazy sloppy drunks.

Are you from New England? I'd say a solid 50% of people I knew growing up went to a boarding school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.

That’s total BS and based on your survey of one person. I know many many people who attended boarding school and the vast majority loved it.

All of the boarding school kids at college were actually kinda over the partying thing by the time they got to college. They mostly just got high togehter but weren’t the crazy sloppy drunks.

Anonymous wrote:For every kid that has had a positive experience at boarding school I would say there's at least two that had a horrible experience. I personally know at least one kid who was molested at a boarding school in the early 2010s. Keep in mind that Deerfield is far out in Western Massachusetts too. Additionally, boarding school kids tend to be the hardest partiers and drug users when they get to college.