Anonymous
03/07/2026 11:56
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago due to illness and tons of people told me how great I looked. That really bothered me. I was so sick I could barely eat anything for 6 months. So, that's what it takes for me to look great, I guess. I've recently lost a lot of weight again (although not as much as last time), and almost nobody has said a word. Maybe that's because I'm older and they think I might be sick?? Maybe it's because they suspect I'm using weight loss meds?? Or maybe it's because they still think I'm fat?? I'm not really sure. But after these two experiences, I think it's best to just not comment on people's bodies at all.
I truly think it is a cultural change. I also had many more people saying something 10 years ago, which really stressed me out and bothered me. Now I'm relieved they don't. I don't think it means they think anything negative about you, they've just learned the same lesson that it's better not to comment.
100% I would much rather people not say anything at all or just give me a general compliment that doesn't mention my weight at all.
And by all means, people, don't ever ask how someone lost weight. Just don't. If they want you to know, they'll tell you.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 11:48
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago due to illness and tons of people told me how great I looked. That really bothered me. I was so sick I could barely eat anything for 6 months. So, that's what it takes for me to look great, I guess. I've recently lost a lot of weight again (although not as much as last time), and almost nobody has said a word. Maybe that's because I'm older and they think I might be sick?? Maybe it's because they suspect I'm using weight loss meds?? Or maybe it's because they still think I'm fat?? I'm not really sure. But after these two experiences, I think it's best to just not comment on people's bodies at all.
I truly think it is a cultural change. I also had many more people saying something 10 years ago, which really stressed me out and bothered me. Now I'm relieved they don't. I don't think it means they think anything negative about you, they've just learned the same lesson that it's better not to comment.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 11:43
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
I want to add here that my mother in law would know if I was losing weight because I was sick. We wouldn't keep that from her.
So anyway, back to my PSA: Don't look someone up and down and ask them "DID YOU LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT" incredulously.
Just try to be kind people. I know that's hard for some of you, but think about how you are saying something and how someone may take it before you say it.
So anyway, back to my PSA: Don't look someone up and down and ask them "DID YOU LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT" incredulously.
Just try to be kind people. I know that's hard for some of you, but think about how you are saying something and how someone may take it before you say it.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 11:40
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it
OP here, this isn't even about how I lost the weight. It's about not commenting on someone's body. Ever.
And FWIW, it's not a secret how I lost weight. I told her, I was just really taken aback by her comment and the way she asked. I wouldn't have been annoyed if she just told me I look nice. The looking me up and down, too, that was gross.
So sometimes it’s ok to comment?
Saying "you look nice" and saying "you lost weight" are two very different things. Do you not understand that?
Anonymous
03/07/2026 11:05
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
The whole new (well compared to decades ago) more about not ever commenting on other people's bodies is fine.
But it really is weird when you lose 100 pounds and no one seems to notice. It's like you are invisible. Btdt.
But it really is weird when you lose 100 pounds and no one seems to notice. It's like you are invisible. Btdt.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 10:57
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
I lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago due to illness and tons of people told me how great I looked. That really bothered me. I was so sick I could barely eat anything for 6 months. So, that's what it takes for me to look great, I guess. I've recently lost a lot of weight again (although not as much as last time), and almost nobody has said a word. Maybe that's because I'm older and they think I might be sick?? Maybe it's because they suspect I'm using weight loss meds?? Or maybe it's because they still think I'm fat?? I'm not really sure. But after these two experiences, I think it's best to just not comment on people's bodies at all.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 10:06
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it
OP here, this isn't even about how I lost the weight. It's about not commenting on someone's body. Ever.
And FWIW, it's not a secret how I lost weight. I told her, I was just really taken aback by her comment and the way she asked. I wouldn't have been annoyed if she just told me I look nice. The looking me up and down, too, that was gross.
So sometimes it’s ok to comment?
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:59
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why cant you share? Are you taking an injectable. I would be flattered she noticed.
How often do you really look a person up and down?
Sounds like you are looking for a reason to be offended.
Some people live life looking to be offended.
Take the compliment OP, offer some advice, and move on.
Where is the compliment? There was no compliment.
The compliment is that she noticed that you aren’t fat anymore. The act of seeing someone IS A COMPLIMENT!
No, no it's not.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:59
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it
OP here, this isn't even about how I lost the weight. It's about not commenting on someone's body. Ever.
And FWIW, it's not a secret how I lost weight. I told her, I was just really taken aback by her comment and the way she asked. I wouldn't have been annoyed if she just told me I look nice. The looking me up and down, too, that was gross.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:49
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why cant you share? Are you taking an injectable. I would be flattered she noticed.
How often do you really look a person up and down?
Sounds like you are looking for a reason to be offended.
Some people live life looking to be offended.
Take the compliment OP, offer some advice, and move on.
Where is the compliment? There was no compliment.
The compliment is that she noticed that you aren’t fat anymore. The act of seeing someone IS A COMPLIMENT!
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:48
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Why cant you share? Are you taking an injectable. I would be flattered she noticed.
How often do you really look a person up and down?
Sounds like you are looking for a reason to be offended.
+1
This. I’d even go so far as yes these weight loss drugs are a modern miracle.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:46
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it
OP here, this isn't even about how I lost the weight. It's about not commenting on someone's body. Ever.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:45
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why cant you share? Are you taking an injectable. I would be flattered she noticed.
How often do you really look a person up and down?
Sounds like you are looking for a reason to be offended.
Asking someone if they've lost weight or noticing that someone has lost weight is NOT a compliment or something to be flattered by. It's just an observation. And looking someone up and down in an obvious manner is just rude.
MIL could have just said "You look great" and left it at that.
Why are you assuming she looks great and not sick?
OP here. You are responding to my post. I don't look sick. Why are you assuming I do?
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:12
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it
Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.
Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.
Oh yeah it's a great idea to confide in the type of people who talk behind your back.
Confide? It’s not a state secret. It’s perfectly obvious if you’ve lost weight and they may be concerned.. People will notice but you expect them to avoid the elephant in the room, so to speak? Sounds like you’re one of those people. Trust that people have noticed and have commented behind your back.
We know, that's why we don't offer up any details.
The alternative is she asks your husband, behind your back if everything is ok. Pick your poison.
Anonymous
03/07/2026 09:11
Subject: Don't ask people about their weight loss.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it
Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.
Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.
Oh yeah it's a great idea to confide in the type of people who talk behind your back.
Confide? It’s not a state secret. It’s perfectly obvious if you’ve lost weight and they may be concerned.. People will notice but you expect them to avoid the elephant in the room, so to speak? Sounds like you’re one of those people. Trust that people have noticed and have commented behind your back.
We know, that's why we don't offer up any details.