I have one teen so I have no idea what I'm talking about but I would probably respond this way the next time they have a blow-up:

Email or text to everyone to say: Girls, get it together. We have always done the best we can for all of you, but you are individuals and we have been at different stages of life and financial health with each of you, so what has seemed fair hasn't always been equal. If you are jealous or angry about a gift or assistance that comes from your dad and me, your issue is with US, not your sister. If you want a specific gift for Christmas, ask for it. If you need help with a car payment, talk to us. Sister jealousy is normal, but before you compare yourself or take anger out on your sister for living a different life than you, consider that you are all young, and if you are dissatisfied with something in your own life or want something different, now is the time to go for it. Please stop being dramatic and acting like teenagers - we went through that for 13 years and are tired of that phase. See you at Easter.

The New Kardashians arrived.

“ There’s constant tension over things like what mom and dad buy them, who gets to go on the better trips with their boyfriends, who’ll have a bigger or better ring or wedding, who has the better partner, and who’s prettier.”

This is the problem. These women are superficial and spoiled. And guess wherebthey got that?

OP, support the two youngest with money in college and for the first apt, as you say you did with the others. Stop giving any gifts. Period. If you like, give each the same amount if money each year on New Year’s or Groundhog Day or whenever. Then drop the rope. Don’t listen when they complain about each other. You raised them to be this way and now, unfortunately, they will have to figure out how to get along without you because you are part of the problem, not the solution.

Why have there been so many "I have 8000 children that I can't handle" trolls this week?

Why are we focusing on the text when we have no context? It might be a problem; it might not. Need more info.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Recently, the 25-year-old refused to speak to the 21-year-old for weeks because we gave her a gift she wanted. My oldest daughter even became upset because she thought the 23-year-old was 'flirting' with her boyfriend, even though all she did was send him a simple ‘hi’ text. Even if we tried to be 'fair,' they’d only end up competing with each other over trivial things, and the constant fighting inevitably drags us into it.

OP, you seem dangerously clueless here about interpersonal dynamics.

I don’t know saying “hi” doesn’t seem like flirting to me. Is that what the younger generation thinks, I’m 51.

With no specific purpose or ask, such a text is provocative and inviting intimacy.

Provocative and inviting intimacy??

Your daughters are at an age OP where you ➕ your husband should just stay out of whatever drama they create amongst themselves.
They should not be drawing either of you into their immature chaotic ways.

With so many kids so close in age .. what did you expect ?


Anyways .. Unclench OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Recently, the 25-year-old refused to speak to the 21-year-old for weeks because we gave her a gift she wanted. My oldest daughter even became upset because she thought the 23-year-old was 'flirting' with her boyfriend, even though all she did was send him a simple ‘hi’ text. Even if we tried to be 'fair,' they’d only end up competing with each other over trivial things, and the constant fighting inevitably drags us into it.

OP, you seem dangerously clueless here about interpersonal dynamics.

I don’t know saying “hi” doesn’t seem like flirting to me. Is that what the younger generation thinks, I’m 51.

With no specific purpose or ask, such a text is provocative and inviting intimacy.

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh, a simple 'hi' text could easily be flirting. Why would she be texting her sisters bf

Exactly

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Recently, the 25-year-old refused to speak to the 21-year-old for weeks because we gave her a gift she wanted. My oldest daughter even became upset because she thought the 23-year-old was 'flirting' with her boyfriend, even though all she did was send him a simple ‘hi’ text. Even if we tried to be 'fair,' they’d only end up competing with each other over trivial things, and the constant fighting inevitably drags us into it.

OP, you seem dangerously clueless here about interpersonal dynamics.

I don’t know saying “hi” doesn’t seem like flirting to me. Is that what the younger generation thinks, I’m 51.

Lady, I'm 53 and the inappropriateness of this is crystal clear to me. I say this gently- do you have trouble reading social clues?

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh, a simple 'hi' text could easily be flirting. Why would she be texting her sisters bf

Yeah, she should not be texting her sisters boyfriend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Recently, the 25-year-old refused to speak to the 21-year-old for weeks because we gave her a gift she wanted. My oldest daughter even became upset because she thought the 23-year-old was 'flirting' with her boyfriend, even though all she did was send him a simple ‘hi’ text. Even if we tried to be 'fair,' they’d only end up competing with each other over trivial things, and the constant fighting inevitably drags us into it.

OP, you seem dangerously clueless here about interpersonal dynamics.

I don’t know saying “hi” doesn’t seem like flirting to me. Is that what the younger generation thinks, I’m 51.

Why did she text him in the first place?

It is inappropriate to text a sister’s boyfriend for no reason. And hi would probably turn into more than just hi.

I’m 47 and have teenagers. I would not like if any of my friends just texted my husband hi for no reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Recently, the 25-year-old refused to speak to the 21-year-old for weeks because we gave her a gift she wanted. My oldest daughter even became upset because she thought the 23-year-old was 'flirting' with her boyfriend, even though all she did was send him a simple ‘hi’ text. Even if we tried to be 'fair,' they’d only end up competing with each other over trivial things, and the constant fighting inevitably drags us into it.

OP, you seem dangerously clueless here about interpersonal dynamics.

I don’t know saying “hi” doesn’t seem like flirting to me. Is that what the younger generation thinks, I’m 51.

Anonymous wrote:Five kids only two years apart? Pat yourself on the back for getting them into young adulthood and land the helicopter.

Lol