Anonymous
Post 03/02/2026 09:46     Subject: Re:Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:My guess: Someone internal is getting the role (internal politics) or someone with influence swooped in with a candidate. Anyway, sounds like they did like you, and it’s good practice for your next opportunity.


This is almost always the case. the interviews are due diligence
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 20:43     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you a woman? And a man got picked?

Op I am a woman but I obviously have no idea who got picked


My last CEO was a man and he hired lots of women in senior roles.

My current CEO is a women and hires nearly all men.

You never know

What does this have to do with the topic at hand, or even the post you’re replying to.


That poster is responding to whether OP has a gender issue with getting hired. It is following the conversation properly.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 17:52     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you a woman? And a man got picked?

Op I am a woman but I obviously have no idea who got picked


My last CEO was a man and he hired lots of women in senior roles.

My current CEO is a women and hires nearly all men.

You never know

What does this have to do with the topic at hand, or even the post you’re replying to.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 15:57     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you a woman? And a man got picked?

Op I am a woman but I obviously have no idea who got picked


My last CEO was a man and he hired lots of women in senior roles.

My current CEO is a women and hires nearly all men.

You never know
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 15:45     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Smth similar happened to DH. Turned out they laid off the whole department he was supposed to lead
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 15:34     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have been in your shoes more times than I can count. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a numbers game,not something you did or didn't do. At every level, decisions are made in tangible and intangible factors. Easy to take personally.

+1. I have, too. It is hard, and now I almost hate to be the one doing the interviews and selecting the candidate.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 15:01     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
OP, I have been in your shoes more times than I can count. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a numbers game,not something you did or didn't do. At every level, decisions are made in tangible and intangible factors. Easy to take personally.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 13:50     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:A PP. The times I've thought things went weird like this, it was an internal candidate.

The person who brought you in twice probably wants to hire you.

I would only look for feedback from the recruiter.

If there is ever a third interview offer, that is the correct time to ask what is different about the new round.

Op here. I did reply yesterday and said thanks for your note, sorry to hear that, and I'd welcome any feedback you're willing to share but obviously know you're not obligated to do so. (I worded it better than that.) I did call the recruiter and ask for feedback directly but we played phone tag yesterday afternoon so I have to wait til Monday. All she said in her voicemail was that I did well but she had feedback she could share.

I don't know that they would ever bring me back for an interview again? I mean they've now passed me over twice for the same role, so it's clear that something is missing on my resume they are looking for.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 12:12     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
A PP. The times I've thought things went weird like this, it was an internal candidate.

The person who brought you in twice probably wants to hire you.

I would only look for feedback from the recruiter.

If there is ever a third interview offer, that is the correct time to ask what is different about the new round.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 11:58     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
OP, maybe you can write an email that conveys the idea that if they ever do decide they want to bring you on board, you’re willing and available. Leave the door open in case the other person doesn’t work out or whatever.

I’m sorry you didn’t get it. That really stings. The brusque email may just be for HR/legal protection reasons, but she could warm it up with an additional sentence of human content.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 11:30     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. It's impossible to tell whether there was an actual flaw in your presentation or whether they just preferred someone else, for good or bad reasons. Usually every interview will give the impression it went well, though, because in person, no wants to be rude and social people get caught up in the emotional moment and become extra enthusiastic. So that's not a good measure of how well you did. It means you were decent... but it doesn't always mean you were the best.

The rejection was quite brusque, and I take it to mean that the person writing it knows very well what a warm reception you got during the interview, and is feeling very awkward about having to write such a missive. So they went for sharp break... which says more about them than about you!


Is it really that brusque, though? I'm interviewing people bc I am short staffed. Even setting up interviews took a lot of time. Then I will spend more time interviewing people, all while continuing to do the work I regularly do in addition to the work of the role that I am hiring for. Now I wonder if I have to tailor the news to each individual person who interviewed and provide in-depth feedback justifying why the job was offered to a different person. Don't interviewers generally come off as pleasant in interviews because they want you to want to work there? That's why they are interviewing you. I have been on the other hand, and while it is natural to take rejection personally, it's often not.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 10:12     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
You were probably a 1 of 2 or 1 of 3 finalist. They went another direction, it happens.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 03:39     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. It's impossible to tell whether there was an actual flaw in your presentation or whether they just preferred someone else, for good or bad reasons. Usually every interview will give the impression it went well, though, because in person, no wants to be rude and social people get caught up in the emotional moment and become extra enthusiastic. So that's not a good measure of how well you did. It means you were decent... but it doesn't always mean you were the best.

The rejection was quite brusque, and I take it to mean that the person writing it knows very well what a warm reception you got during the interview, and is feeling very awkward about having to write such a missive. So they went for sharp break... which says more about them than about you!


Op I do fear it was a flaw in my presentation. I was nervous and I think I spoke too quickly, so then I made a joke about too much coffee, which everyone laughed at but clearly wasn't funny. Or the hiring manager mentioned something about her husband that he has in common with my husband so then we were talking about that and I'm sure maybe she felt I was being too familiar for a job interviewer.

Anyway, thank you all for the kind words.

You know damn well for the right candidates a dorky joke or a harmless mention of personal life is not going to make them go from "Wow! We need to bring her on board!" to "Oh my god get her out of here."

Honestly they likely knew before they brought you in that it wouldn't be you and were just being polite. Which is shitty.

What if the preferred person doesn't take the job, though? Sometimes it makes sense to interview multiple people, or someone higher up requires that multiple people be interviewed. OP, it's probably nothing you did at the interview. When you have multiple highly qualified candidates and only 1 spot, you have to just offer the job to 1 person. It doesn't mean the other candidates were "bad" or bombed their interviews. It's similar to the college forum on here where parents wonder why their highly qualified kids didn't get into Ivies. They had to pick someone, and there just weren't enough spots. It makes me feel bad as an interviewer that some people may take it as a rejection.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2026 22:04     Subject: Re:Really Odd Rejection
Dollars to donuts it was nothing OP did and something that the company did, like put on a show when they already had their preferred candidate in mind, or promoted from within etc. Story as old as time. Sorry it seems you got caught up in that OP.
Anonymous
Post 02/27/2026 21:28     Subject: Really Odd Rejection
Small talk is not something to worry about and shows you're human and engaging. Stalk the web site and find the person who eventually gets it (can learn from their bio for future.) And recruiter/company hopefully will give feedback you can apply.